Pfft... You know I remember finding a story on here with a similar premise... I think it was called like... EDP or something... It was surprisingly good because of exactly one aspect. The basic story was this guy has a condition where he dies if he doesn't fuck people and this results in basically him getting reality warping abilities since it's apparently mandatory for anyone to do whatever he says in order to help him meaning he basically has complete immunity to the law and can rape and even murder anyone he wants to as long as he can justify it as necessary for him to orgasm. It's also implied there's some kind of mental compunction aspect... But yeah... so... On it's face... That sounds fucking terrible... It's the generic you can fuck whoever story that is a dime a dozen on here... But then we meet a character who's whole deal is that he is immune to this compunction because of his own condition and the story takes a sudden turn as the MC suddenly ends up having to grapple with the horrible shit he's done with his powers and it suddenly gets very serious and becomes a very interesting story as he is now being blackmailed by this other guy and forced to use his powers to essentially perform assassinations and crimes for this person and is struggling to figure out a way to get out of this and like... damn it suddenly got really interesting and cool for what seemed like a really generic story.
At least make sure the shark girls don't have dicks That sounds like the plot of a manga, depending on the amount of sex lol
Noted. I think there was one where there were only five men left and women needed them to repopulate the Earth.
This was really funny. I'm glad the Sephiroth joke landed. I've started writing my own response. I got really ambitious, and refused to do the chapter links because I wanted each path to be slightly different. Like the MC is inventing reality (not related to the book by Michael Parenti) based on seemingly meaningless decisions based on lust. This is teased over multiple chapters but basically the nameless MC is basically a source of power, and the facility is either a way to harvest that power through his semen, or invented by a past version of himself in order to make a place for his own sexual fantasies to be fulfilled. These routes will all be finished as time permits.
I might put some in Persona 7 and 8 as well since there are actual mythical shark people who could be used as Shadows or Personas. My fantasy adventure story was gonna involve sea creatures so I could put some shark girls there. I have no current plans to use dickgirls.
Apparently there is no phobia for ellipses. But there should be. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Agents-Arrangement,-by-google2020.1143326
Oh! I've seen your name on the thingy. You're doing mine now. Cool. I just finished up an arc. I think I'll leave it there for a couple days, for unrelated reasons. Take your time.
Okay, that's enough meta shenanigans out of me. I'm clearly too tired to scheme properly. Hope you had fun reading, and I'm looking forward to the roast.
This story was like looking into a mirror. Absolutely horrifying. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Debauchery-is-Underrated,-by-CurvyLinesEverywhere.1146785
To be fair, you have to have a high intelligence quotient (this is what IQ stands for btw, stop saying IQ when you mean intelligence quotient, it makes it seem like you don't understand what you're saying) in order to understand Curvy Lines' writing. I myself didn't get the crabs joke at first. I thought it was a reference to pubic lice at first. However, I contacted the author, and he corrected me. I'm glad he's on our side.
The similiarities I am spotting between him and me are really quite frightening. It's like i'm his evil twin.
Cute. I see you went straight for the low-hanging fruit. The next time you decide to put words in my mouth, could you maybe try to come up with something original? Also, nice to see the Metal Gear Awesome reference sailed right over your head. Clearly, we could not be less alike. (Just kidding, thanks for reading guys! XD I'm literally bouncing in anticipation of reading the roast. 90% of Isekai are crap, but that's only because 90% of everything is crap. Great isekai exist. They're out there. Log horizon, Vision of Escaflone, No Game No Life, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Sword art Online Abridged, Konosuba, The Hero Is Overpowered but Overly Cautious. That fact that 50% of my examples are parodies or deconstructions says more about my sense of humor than it does about the genre, honest.)
(eagerly rubs hands together and clicks the link, grinning like an idiot) “The guy can't even spell embarrassment right, Marcie!” ...FUCK! “And the title sucks too!” What's wrong with the title? I thought it kinda stood on its own, even if you're not familiar with Log Horizon or Hopeless Hotties. READING IN PROGRESS (BGM) Well, shit, Gambio, that's clever and goofy. Your comment about knowing which BGM to use makes so much more sense now. You really nailed the perfect point in the song to pick it up, too. Well-played, sir. I despise when writers do this. I am not a fan of show don't tell but this is show and tell. The worst of both worlds. It was a bit! I guess it's not as funny to me now as when I wrote it. „This is what counts as a chapter for this absolute unit. Where's the fucking narration? This shit feels like something we would write." Breaking news: CHYOA chapter short; Gina Surprised; Can't do better “I go out on a limp and say if the protagonist was female you would be all over it.” Accurate. Also, you misspelled "limb." BOOYAH! “As expected, our protagonist is a genius a sex. He is so good at it that he sends Niki.(the muffin cat girl) to an alternate dimension. I... I even included a link to the Wikipedia page... Gina... as a writer, I'm afraid there's only so much I can do for you. “I withhold my judgment until later, but I do believe this first sex scene should have been drawn out longer. As it is, there is a bit of a disconnect.” Hmmm. You know what? That's fair. I'll take that. That's fair criticism. Thank you, Marcie. I was actually kinda trying to illustrate one of Shiroe's weakness as a character, namely that his deeply-buried regret over what he perceives as past failures caused by his own arrogance and hubris has caused him to become overly-cautious and overthink things, even when there currently isn't a problem? But it didn't land. So that's on me. “So, the author is a sissy ass bitch, you say?” You know, if she'd said protagonist instead of author, Gina had the opportunity to "be right by accident," here. Swing and a miss, Gina. "Do you have any complaints?" he said. "Fuck you." "Not here. You might get crabs." „!“ „No, Marcie.“ „But you do have to admit he has a pretty refined sense of humor.“ “Yeah, repeating the same joke within the span of 10 chapters sure is the height of comedy.” “But, Gina, that is the joke.” “Well the joke sucks!” “I think we should move on.” It's hard to indicate "double quote italics." I've never had to do this before in my life. My ad-hoc solution completely falls apart when there's vertical whitespace in the nested quote. If anyone has a better solution, please reply to this thread. And the ironic part is, I'm quoting it when I don't have anything to say about it. It's low humor. I don't even think Shiroe would make this joke to anybody but Niki giving him lip during a teachable moment. I've got no defense here. It's a bad joke that I enjoyed making. Presumably, my treatment of Shiroe feels the same way. It doesn't even work in Japanese, probably. Gods, I'm such a fucking fanfic author. “You know, I know what he means but I still can't help imagine him shoving an entire pair of glasses up his nostrils every time that sentence pops up.” Heh heh heh... “Please contain your nose picking fetish for once, Marcie.” HAHAHAHAHAHA! “He wrote embarrassed erroneous again in chapter 34.-- Real talk here. I spell that specific word wrong every time. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. No idea why. On a good day, I actually notice the red underline and right-click on it to let the computer fix it. But, here I am, like an idiot, trying to write a story about three or more characters with embarraraaressesmentt fetishes. --Is it wrong that his inability to spell this particular word right is turning me on?” *pushes his glasses up his nose* "Yes, Marcie. It's completely wrong. That's why you're embaressed about it. It's not the first embaressing thing you've ever admitted to, but somehow, this embaressment hits different. You're right to be embaressed about this. You're a bad girl. Heh. Stay embaressed." Some people people stared at him. Other people hid what they were doing, or even fled when they saw him coming. “Ah yes, the people people who like to watch people.” “Repeating words is definitely this authors weakness. Have some more examples on the house.” Tirra stopped pumping her her mana into Amara's ritual, you can lean on each other for the strength that you would normally normally draw from me." No! My one weakness! WRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!! *disintegrates in a flash of light* Seriously, though. This one is particularly insidious, since it's not a spelling mistake and the computer computer can't detect it. I think maybe it's caused by copying and pasting parts of sentences to get them to flow better during editing? Not sure. “Like the two fuck bunnies. I wanna see more about them!” I was still going through the motions of FifityFifityFifity's original story this is based off of, at this point. It was starting to de-cohere and take off in its own direction, though. Xylyra's arc is where I burn the original story to the ground and start actually writing something original... (and even that, I'm not too sure about, but that's a story for another thread.) “This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It gives the whole story a certain slice of life quality. And I do believe these plot threads will eventually pay off.” You're dreaming. “You know what doesn't pay off? The sex to story ratio! And then this asshat, this absolute piece of garbage has the audacity to introduce a succubus and give us a sex scene with her, described entirely in a fucking POEM!!!” Dammit. I'm torn. On the one hand, this is the most upset I've ever seen somebody get about the low intensity of that scene. But on the other hand, it's fucking Gina. I want to make my writing the best it can be.... but I also want Gina Dianne Walker to suffer! What's the play here, guys? How do you pick just one!? By the penultimate stanza, we've passed through scene-setting, metaphor, innuendo, and explicit orgy, finally arriving at the devastation left in the wake of her ravenous feeding. But again, it's ambiguous which lines are literal and which lines are sex puns. Her attack fades as mysteriously as it manifested. „This fucker is so up his own ass, holy shit!“ Seconded. “Explaining your own chapter in a fucking comment? What kinda pretentious fuckwit does that?” Okay, I'm starting to see why Gambio said reading this was like looking into a mirror. And you know what? I'm here for it. Repent, Gambino. Repent for all all your embaressing Writing Sins! “The author also likes to link certain words. As if I didn't know what Wabi-sabi or a Prince Rupert's drop is! Please, don't insult my intelligence like that, author. My mind could run circles around yours.” I lost track of which one you are. Is this Gina? If so, you're the heel! I will insult your goddamned intelligence whenever I fucking feel like it. That said, I use a very simple litmus test. If I want to include a cool thing in my story, but I'm not sure if I'm remembering the details right, I google it. If the result of my Google search surprises me, I assume I'm writing above my intelligence level, and I link to the support material. On a good day, some reader at least as dumb as me learns something. On a bad day, a fictional character audiences love to hate with ten times my clout loudly screams into the void about my work. Which turns it into a good day. “Xyly is my favorite character! I want to see more of her.” D'aww. I wrote something that Gina liked! I feel so accomplished as an author. Somebody's fangirling! Heh heh. I own you now. “The whole demon realm as explained in the story is such a highly intriguing concept, which is why I find it such a shame that we are demystifying it so quickly. I wished the author would have let it simmer for a bit first. The story sets up a very interesting dilemma for Xylyra and I think exploring it from the sidelines while the focus was on other things would have been the better choice here.” More good criticism from Marcie! I'll take it under advisement. I've actually been powering through a lot of stuff in single sentences throughout the whole story that could have been turned into short scenes. Like some sort of whistlestop tour... that is also a slow burn? Wait... did we both stop judging this as a CHYOA at some point, and start judging it as a story? “Ah yes, the sex. Shiroe is interesting as far as porn protagonist go, because he is almost the anti thesis of them.” “Well no shit, at one point he invented a spell to literally make people less horny. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?” “He isn't averse to sex, but he only uses it as a means of control. But not in the regular sense either. He is more like a stern father, disciplining his unruly children. And if they behave he is going to make them feel good as a reward.” Oh, Marcie. I thought you'd read about sex. You were so close! He's a Dom. They're brats. Look it up. “I'm still not convinced this story isn't just a giant troll.. It definitely is, and you fell for all my tricks, haha you fools. The amount of fakeouts is insane. Just gimme some sex damnit!” Phrasing. “To be fair, we certainly have covered stories with less sex. On that subject, managed to masturbate to this one, Gina?” “I fucking hate myself for it, but yes.” *chuckles in the back of his throat* “Oh my, I knew you where into tickling!” “That's not it! The fucker cheated! All this time all we do is talk about muffins and satisfy the authors perverse tickle fetish and then suddenly there is this really nice scene where the girls are having fun while Shiroe was watching like the cuck he is. That was hot and my hands just started to move on their own, ugh! It was like a fucking sex ambush! Fuck you, Curvy!” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Not in the fourm. “All in all I would say I can give it a rating of quite adequate.--” That's still literally a higher rating than I thought it was possible to get in a roast. I'll take it. “The fucking game mode did nothing at all, you fuck!” Gonna be honest. At the time? I was still getting used to the website, and I didn't even know what that setting did. I thought I had to do that so you could name the character. At least I removed the Game tags once I realized Shiroe's whole shtick was pretty much taking over the world like a tactical genius and therefore he would almost always make the optimal choice in any given situation except for when the optimal choice is actually "act without thinking." Is there a way to turn Game Mode off?
