A Fantasy Dynasty

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by merkros, Feb 27, 2016.

  1. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    I totally agree with this dearnise! I can see there being like six or seven different religions in Itheria, with each one being embraced, tolerated, or shunned in different regions.

    I like this idea a lot. In fact, it's my thought that The Order of Holy Light could be the single largest religion in the country with only 1/3 or perhaps 2/5 of the population following it (and growing rapidly). The other 2/3 to 3/5 could follow the various other beliefs throughout the kingdom; with a healthy mix of all of them found in the Capital.
     
  2. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    That is exactly my thought. Maybe in a future generation, one of Bryce's descendants could usher in the growing dominance of The Order of Holy Light, with a few smaller groups holding on to other beliefs. He (or she) may not make The Order Itheria's official religion, but it would be much like how the dominant religions of our real world influence things.
     
  3. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    @Omegah2o In a sense, I was just hoping to maybe give you ideas for more members of the pantheon. Since you mentioned that you wanted around twelve gods, but only had 9 thought up of. With another evil deity, some sort of beastfolk deity, and a deity of magic or something along those lines. You could come very close to the 12 you're looking for.

    My thoughts for the Queen of the Forest is essentially threefold. Firstly, it gives a reason for the wild and dangerous forest that exists between Itheria and Elileithel. An ancient, powerful being who doesn't want to be disturbed by such trivial things would fit right into that. Secondly, An immortal(or extremely long-lived creature) would essentially phase into the culture of those around them eventually. Either revered, feared, or worshipped(although whether her nature is actually divine or not may be up for debate). Thirdly, making her a unique kind-of beastfolk and a woman may lead to potentially naughty scenarios.

    Overall though, due to her potential power factor, I don't really want her to become a pervasive part of the story.
     
  4. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    Your ideas are good ones merkros! It's just all of the gods I listed so far are generally designed to be more race neutral than anything. The suggestion of a magic deity is an excellent suggestion and truth be told I had thought is was something that the Pantheon was sorely lacking. I'm just don;'t have any further ideas about it beyond the fact that he/she should be there. I'm definitely not opposed to another 'evil' deity, and a new one can work well both with and against Levos. (Evil against bad is always fun!)
     
  5. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    @Omegah2o , The Marksman wrote several chapters branching off your story and I thought they were decent enough to approve. Hopefully they don't come too closely to whatever you had planned...

    If they do, feel free to write your own interpretation, or branch off from his chapters where you deem appropriate. Basically, do whatever you think is necessary to achieve your vision of events.


    Yes, I'm super self conscious about stepping on peoples toes.
     
  6. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    No worries merkros, in fact I'm ecstatic that The Marksman added branching chapters to Magus' story. I've read them myself and loved them. I do have some different plans for some of the characters, but The Marksman is progressing the story along the same general line that I intend to. Which is fantastic.

    Also, you don't have to worry about stepping on my toes. As far as I'm concerned if anyone wants to contribute to Magus' story they are more than welcome! :)
     
  7. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    On that note, are there any conditional variables in play?

    I see The Marksman added a pair of parallel chapters that recombine, and I couldn't tell if there might be variables active...aha, I can only see the variables when in game mode -- nothing really obvious with "add a new chapter". So that tells me how two different authors can collaborate, by observing how the variables change along the story so far and making use of the same variables or ones in a similar style.
     
  8. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    I do have conditional variables in play but those are mainly restricted to "Politics", "Warfare", and "Magic", in essence limiting what Magus can do in those three areas. I've started a thread attempting to explain how those three will work, but I haven't completed or posted it yet. Essentially, with low scores it's supposed to limit him to 'worse' options while high scores let him do 'improbable' things. They're more geared towards affecting storytelling rather than relationships however.

    I've also dabbled in 'Character Traits' and these are also supposed to affect available choices as well. For example, it would be out of character for a 'timid' or 'conservative' character to take bold or daring action even if his score was high enough. Likewise an 'impulsive' or 'reckless' character wouldn't really pause to analyze a situation before taking action.

    However, at this time I've only introduced these concepts and they haven't had a chance to affect the story yet.
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  9. Ultrasound7

    Ultrasound7 Experienced

    Alright, due to how quite this thread and the story has been for awhile as well as the sheer silence my first personal post has gotten I have decided to get the ball rolling on Prince Ali. The next chapter will end at the royal court where issues will be addressed. Though I am not entirely sure where to set my focus on. Perhaps you guys can help out?

    I am a little curious if the religion for Al-Anashab has been established? I was thinking that in ancient times, When thier dessert lands was ruled by beastman thier was a pantheon not unlike the Egyptian pantheon, perfect kind of gods for beastman don't you think? The as man grew and became more inventive and crafty and eventually became the mighty empire it is today the old beast pantheon is outlawed and a single god is the official deity of the empire. I was thinking something like Ababa, or maybe a godess, Ahlanna.

    For further note the old pantheon would still be reverd by nomadic beast tribes and occasional cults.


    Also I was curious if Dearnise was willing to share any further details of his view of the demon crisis Kalisah became apart of, I would love to dive into the and vents that lead to the situation in question. I even have a demon protagonist named Kali a demenette with six arms.

    I aslo would be interested to know of any extended members of the royal family including the harem and/or bastard children. It would certianly help to construct family interactions and any overall plans.

    One of my plot ideas is that a Man named Ishmalice, while technically the grand sultans first born, was born from one of his concubines, enraged for having to forsake the throne his younger half-brother set out to start an insurrection, where he makes one shifty alliance to the next. Such as Shera Khan the last leader of the Beast tribes against the empire. Demons would fit in as likely scenario.

    I also wanted to try out the idea of Ali earning and inheriting every thi his father owned including his women.

    Of course if no one has thought that far ahead that just leaves me the freedom of making them myself without stepping over anyone's toes.

    My other big plot points is fixing up the hidden corruption within the kingdom by the merchant guild, not unlike the industrial revolution.

    Then of course the more specific to Ali adventure of exploring/treasure hunting. Sort of like an rpg for him and company exploring ancient temples and unknown territory.

    Well any input/suggestions?
     
  10. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with your first posts. I'm not entirely sure exactly why it hasn't gotten so much attention as some of the other starts. However, I think if you start filling out your story a little more, you will get more attention.

    Not much has really been said about Al-Anashab's religion.


    I should really start working on an archive of demon types....

    I don't think that any of the storylines thus far has led to any real numbers of extended family/bastards.

    I'd like to again emphasize that you're pretty much free to use any characters(of my characters, at least) you want from the story in whatever context you want as long as it's consistent throughout your story and you don't contradict yourself later on. The important part is that a reader be able to read through from Introduction to The End and have a consistent story. That might confound people who want to read every branch of every storyline, but I feel that is all right so to not stifle a writer's creativity.

    Pretty much no one has done much with Al-Anashab. I believe @dearnise has done the most and only through the sense that one of his marriage prospects for King Bryce is from that state. @Omegah2o may do something with it at some point as I think it lies somewhere south/southeast of The Frostpeaks? I'm not entirely sure. There's been a little bit of debate as to exactly how close it is to Itheria.
     
  11. Ultrasound7

    Ultrasound7 Experienced

    Pardon the misunderstanding, i meant the silenc in regards to my forum posts on the feedback page in regards to one of my own stories, wich inhave recently stated expanded upon.

    DC Climax:Universe 53
     
  12. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I haven't touched much into Al-Anashab religion, other than its primary religion was their own monotheistic religion. When I think more about this, I am figuring that their primary deity would be like the single god that the Ancient Egyptians has for a brief while, in which such worshippers believe earned his way to the top when the ancient gods began to grow weaker. It would kinda be like the fantasy version of the early Muslim culture, where women generally covered up most of their bodies, but didn't have to wear all-black. Again, this is just my speculation.

    As for the demon crisis I mentioned in my own stories, where Khalisah is involved, I haven't put much thought into it, for I would have to write out the ongoing plot involving Cielina the Amazon, Devona the Frost Knight, Princess Arin of the Elves of Elethiel, and Fiona of the Gaelic Tribes, before I go into a few further details about the demon crisis that prompted Khalisah to return home. It could be similarly linked to attempted invasions in Phebis and Elethiel, or it could be independent--I do not know at this time. Recently, I thought about doing the Arin's crisis scene before writing the next erotica paths with Cielina and Devona, but had to switch it around because of the branching scenes I did with the two women's duel. Going to a big comic convention in my part of the world a couple of weeks ago didn't help in spinning out ideas, either. With that being said, it'll probably be awhile, while I work on details for the Arin and Fiona personal crisis scenes, before I decide on how to work out the Khalisah crisis.
     
  13. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    I really should start using conditional variables, or my storyline where King Bryce goes off to meet with the Phebian King is going to absolutely explode in size.

    The biggest problem is that I don't want to just start in the middle of the story as that will cause lots of confusion.Ideally I would start using the conditional variables at the start of a storyline, but all of my stuff is sort of mid-story right now.

    The other problem is that a reader would have to navigate back to those chapters and they're fairly deep in. That's a bit of a pain...although not insurmountable. Still, It would be nice if pressing the Start Game button didn't drag you back to the beginning and sort-of lock you out of non-linear navigation.
     
    Omega98 likes this.
  14. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    Hey guys:

    I do apologize for the lack of writing, as I am going through a combination of a busy real world schedule, and a case of writer's block. I'm hoping to take advantage of the Thanksgiving Weekend to add some more chapters, but I'm also starting to think a little bit ahead for my stories, where I can start using conditionals. How do you guys feel about me writing a story about a half-demon--a descendant of Bryce, and the succubus that was disguised as the Amazon, Maricara? He/she would likely be a half-demon, shunned by both The Netherrealms, and most of the mortal surface world for his half-breeding. Given that we are writing about dynasties, I am thinking of him gathering a rag-tag band of outcasts, and take advantage of an ongoing war between two political factions, overthrowing both parties, and taking over a kingdom? Of course, this is well down the road, but it is something to think about.

    Speaking of which, I am wondering if @Omegah2o &/or The Marksman would be interested in contributing to any story arcs related to Bryce's married life with Devona. I have a few ideas for post-wedding stories, and a little bit on their first (& second) son.
     
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  15. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    Hi dearnise!

    Unfortunately I can't say whether or not I would be able to contribute to any story arcs. There is interest certainly, however, my writing muses are fleeting. Even now, I know where I want to take Magus' story; I just am having a hard time motivating myself to sit down and write. The next thread in my line for Magus has been sitting at (barely) five paragraphs for almost two months now. I know exactly what I want to put down on the page I just can't bring myself to do it. :( As such I can't make any commitments to contributions.

    Hi merkros & Ultrasound7

    As of this moment I have no real plans for Al-Anashab. The story arc I have in mind is pretty much contained within Itheria. Other places may be mentioned, but it's doubtful they'll ever be seen (at least that's how I feel right now. But who knows, that may change.)
     
    merkros likes this.
  16. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    @dearnise I noticed that you started working on Irene of Goldfields storyline. This was one that I was thinking of picking up myself at some point, but I'm already pretty swamped with my other threads and I'm not even keeping up with those as much as I should.


    Any hints you can give us as to what plans you have with it?:)
     
    Omega98 likes this.
  17. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I figured that I could at least add a few things to it, since neither the original writer, nor anyone else, was adding anything to it. Given her situation, I think the first thing I will do with it, is find her a suitable husband. I may throw in a few twists here and there, for a change of pace, as well as find places where her own events can be linked to my Bryce storylines.
     
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  18. Omega98

    Omega98 CHYOA Guru

    I have some (eventual) plans for Irene myself, although I don't intend on writing from her starting branch. Rather, I foresee Magus having some run-ins with her in one of his eventual branching paths! Her opening thread stands at 16 likes so it's obvious that there's a lot of love going her way, just no one seems to have capitalized on it. :(
     
  19. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    yeah, unfortunately there are a few threads that were popular that haven't been capitalized on. Irene of Goldfields is one and another is Queen Mathilda(one of Marissa's alternate offspring). My story owner powers lets me see drafted chapters and it looks like the writer for Irene was going to write more, but the chapter has been drafted for a good long while and the writer hasn't logged in for almost a month. As for Queen Mathilda, Alexandra has expressed that she currently has no plans to continue writing for A Fantasy Dynasty. Which is fine.

    Still, both branches had very popular starts.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2016
    Omega98 likes this.
  20. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I'm kinda wondering how I can play out the Arin & Fiona crisis scenes. I don't want to branch it out too much, because it would then take too much time to write them all in a timely manner.