Family Succubus

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Sthaana, Oct 12, 2017.

  1. Sthaana

    Sthaana Really Experienced

    Evening all,

    So, recently I've felt like writing here again, so I just wanted to ask for some feedback/suggestions/opinions on my story Family Succubus ( https://chyoa.com/story/Family-Succubus.9512 ).

    Right now, I'm trying to get the Mother and Sister-threads to the same point as the Cousin thread while this writing-spurt lasts (i.e. to a point with at least two properly fleshed-out branches that signifies some sort of end to the "first arc", as it were).
    After that, I'm thinking of starting some other stories. I've got a "Visiting distant family in the countryside"-story with a bit of a twist, and a Niece-story planned, with a Daddy-Daughter-story in the back of my head.

    I'm thinking of switching up the perspective for the new stories, since up til now I've only used 2nd-person. I'd like to know what you think of that and if you prefer a 1st- or 3rd-person narrative.

    Anyway, I just thought I'd start a feedback thread for my story to see what yous guys think of it. I'm grateful for any feedback or suggestion!
     
    raziel83 likes this.
  2. raziel83

    raziel83 Really Really Experienced

    I've been away for a while and missed this. It would be nice to see more of this story and I might write a thread for it myself (though I am really bad at keeping these promises. I write in rarely and make 1-3 threads at once. I write when my muses strikes me and she may disappear without a warning.)

    How would you feel about a bit more dominant succubi in the story?
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2017
    Sthaana likes this.
  3. Sthaana

    Sthaana Really Experienced

    I'm actually thinking of having the planned Niece and "Distant relations" stories involve more assertive succubi (whenever I get around to them...).
     
  4. raziel83

    raziel83 Really Really Experienced

    Is it ok if I write about more dominant mother or sister?