Pet peeves, things to work on as authors

Perhaps an authors notes thread from the first page is a good idea in collaborative stories, or alternatively a mention/link to the story thread on the forum. In depth descriptions of characters/photos etc can then be referred to to ensure consistency with different authors, without making the story awkward.

 

Thank you for sharing your Force. I am very happy to find others discussing similar pet peeves of mine and learning of how to improve my own writing.

My two pet peeves that I have yet to see anyone mention is reading about a character taking a woman's ass and then sticking his cock in her vagina. Sometimes the author is knowledge able enough to suggest a woman do something degrading and humiliating such as cleaning the shit off his dick for him but that fails to negate the biological danger of doing so. A human's saliva fails to act as an antiseptic soap.

If the man wants to kill the woman he is having sex with then sure go for it but at least keep in mind that the woman is likely to fight the man or dissuade him some other way; That is until he has had a nice thorough bath/shower with plenty of actual soap.

Even a mindless drone/sex slave should have the same self preservation instinct as an ant would.

And the second pet peeve, is use of negation with narration. That is narrating with words such as not and never. That is outside the already error in using them outside of dialogue such as: She isn't very nice. I forget what consolidating the two words is called at the moment and Google is failing me.

Anything anyone ever narrates with a negative, is better said in a different way with a positive. Such as: "Being nice is beyond her nature." It takes more words.

However, I tend to keep silent about it because of the immense effort in convincing someone to 'think' differently without an abysmally low likelihood of success. Besides I believe more in personal responsibility instead of trying to convince others how to behave.

I agree abundantly with this. Please correct me if I am wrong but despite the nickname a penis is just a muscle and tissue. Even in the unlikely event that a man's pecker does get that far, 'touching' it would cause pain instead of pleasure. A woman may perceive a light sporadic 'tickling' as pleasurable but as you said the whole vagina and cervix is designed to 'prevent' direct access to her womb.

I have read that the quickest and easiest way to impregnate a woman is to help her achieve orgasm. As only then does the cervix spasm open due to outside stimuli. Otherwise, as I understand, it opens hours later after the sex.

I think that a sperm can live inside a body for a couple days before it dies on its own. That time is a lot shorter if it finds an egg to fertilize. It takes the combined efforts of a couple million sperm to breach an egg's defenses and that process takes hours if there is an egg already embedded within the womb's walls. Even then it takes 1-3 days after an egg has been fertilized before even the most sophisticated test has a good chance of detecting the pregnancy. Thus any knowledge of impregnation a character has immediately after the event is from a divine source or magik.

I differentiate character knowledge because I have enjoyed threads that narrate in anatomical detail events as they occur, kind of like having x-ray vision. Such as the Sherlock Holmes movies. However the narration is from a god's perspective or the character is simply using their imagination and in Sherlock Holmes's case extensive education.

I find mentioning of breaking through a woman's cervix and 13" cocks as abundantly immersion breaking. An author breaking physical or biological principles without explanation why an extremely rare abnormal mutant is breaking said principles, is craziness. Often, I find the author is attempting to interject reverse racism and I find both ways generally distasteful and major turnoff. I mean, they are perpetuating a factual falsehood in order to suggest that one race is better at sex than another. it is extremely redonkulous.

I have seen several images of the vagina and womb connected while in missionary like pose. It is simply would kill a woman if a man somehow managed to get any cigar shaped RIGID object into her vagina past that curve. Or the man would be willfully breaking his own dick to actually follow the path the vagina takes to the womb.

The only exception is if sex is being performed in a few different position that contorts the vagina into being longer, such as doggy style or cowgirl. Or, I believe I read that a man having her leg up over his shoulder while straddling the other leg can achieve a similar situation.

I never knew this about bra sizes, but often wondered. I blame my education from public school. lulz However, now that I know I will keep it in mind in the improbable event that I will literately describe a woman's breast size.

As others have said, I prefer at most for the author to describe whether the bra size is less, equal to, or more than a stereotypical hand size. Anything else I wish more writers left up to the reader to decide based on what they favored.

 

I don't understand, why that should be deadly.
Sure, there are risks. So just give her a vaginal yeast infection or another applicable disease and let her feel the pain the next time having sex.

I think, there is a difference. I think, that negation suggests a more pessimistic point of view.

While orgasm it sucks the semen into the womb.

If a penis would be a muscle you could train it. That means, you could "pump" it like a bodybuilder.
Everything in the penis works with blood pressure. That is the reason, that the sexual performance decreases, while getting tired (circulation closes down before night). Also that means, a man can do it longer, if he is relaxed (or trained), because his heart have only to work for the penis (e.g. in cowgirl, when the man doesn't move or while getting a blowjob).

There are different systems about bra sizes and I think the UK-US systems differs by the measurement method (underbust+0, underbust+4).
I think wiki is a adequate source of information about this issue.



I really dislike, if language and mindset of a character (or situation) doesn't fit.
Imagine about a innocent girl, which never had sex. She wouldn't say "Come on! Fuck my dirty cunt!".
I would also describe her genitals with pussy or so.
On the other side I wouldn't use the word pussy, if I would describe a 50 year old whore. She probably also wouldn't use that word by herself.

 

Thanks, that's what this is here for. It's fun to rant, but I hope we all learn to improve as a result.

I do agree that it's a bit unbelievable that an average woman would be happy with ass to pussy or ass to mouth, but I don't know about it being 'deadly'. Love the saliva comment.

With regards negatives in dialogue, I think it's fine. That is how people speak, and dialogue should above all be believable that someone would actually say it.
With regards narration, sure avoid it, but perhaps the author wants to use a pessimistic view?

That's certainly my experience with my wife.

I read an article last week about a recent study on penis sizes. The results were "measurements of more than 15,000 men's penises... the average penis is 13.12 centimetres when erect and 9.31 centimetres when flaccid." For non metric readers that's only 5.1 inches. The apparent realistic maximum length was 18cm, or a seemingly rather small 7.08".

Also interesting is the study measured girth as well. I've often read of characters having 2" or larger diameter cocks. According to the study 2" is totally unrealistic and is on the order of a fraction of a per cent. Some authors clearly don't even know the difference between diameter and circumference and make crazy statements like having a 6" DIAMETER cock.
You may like this quote "There are no indications of differences in racial variability in our present study".

If anyones interested, the article is http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/66912351/Study-determines-normal-range-for-size , and the study can be read in full here http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/enhanced/doi/10.1111/bju.13010/
This article made for some happy reading

Another interesting article I read was about a world first penis reduction surgery. You'd think it might have been long, but no, even this guy was only 7" erect, though an incredible 10" circumference (8cm/3.2" diameter).

 

I found the following picture rather interesting

I was under the impression the path formed a 'U' near the end but apparently I am wrong. Thus my comment was directed towards the idea of a cigar shaped object breaching through actual flesh, such as a bullet.

http://themidwifeisin.tumblr.com/about is the source of the image. I believe a certified nurse and midwife should know a lot about what happens with the uterus and the cervix. Thus it does suggest that my overall statement is correct that it is virtually impossible to breach the cervix from the missionary position.

However, in the host's recent reply she explains that the uterus can move around on it's own. She mentions seeking a massage therapist profession as they are most likely best at helping a woman adjust the positioning. I never new the uterus could be moved like that either.

 

Hmm, this is a fascinating thread.

It seems like most people's objections come down to two major areas: grammar and reality related issues.

With regards to grammar, since I frequently torture the Queen's English, I am hesitant to complain. My only pet peeve in this area is if the writer makes no obvious attempt at proof reading his or her story. Having trouble with grammar is one thing, laziness, however, is a worse offense. For sage advice on this issue see:

Reality related pet peeves are a bit harder to deal with, since preference becomes such an issue. Stories about HHH cup women having mindless sex with guys with 18 inch penises, sounds boring to me, but I am not sure if that qualifies as a pet peeve. What I find interesting is how the closer one gets to the edge of a particular kink the more erotic it can become, yet once the boundary is cross it becomes a complete mood killer.

My current pet peeve, or frustration, is trying to come up with other words for "groan" and "moan."

 

Same here. A lot of quirks in grammatical organization can be chalked up to stylistic choice, so I'd approach it on a case-by-case basis.

God, I've been thinking about this so much. At least in my work, I think it comes from a place of wanting to choreograph a scenario for the reader, but the written word just doesn't have the fidelity for that. I have to tell myself that I'm never going to outporn a porn video, and past a certain point, visual details in text become filler.

 

2p1k3, anal-to-vaginal sex can be dangerous, though deadly is unlikely, though not impossible. Infection risk is increased for obvious reasons -- the anus is definitely not clean -- and it depends on the infection. I'd imagine a C. diff infection in the vagina would be very bad. It does depend still though, as the vagina can be a hostile environment to certain microorganisms -- it is to sperm before they enter the uterus -- but that's definitely not an endorsement. The vagina, like the colon, has a certain amount of bacteria living in it already, and disruptions in that also lead to infection. Gardnerella is probably the best example I can think of. And yes, that's the vagina during penetration! The uterus does fold over like that -- many women actually have the uterus fold the other way (retroverted uterus) which can, but not always, make sex somewhat painful, and judging by that diagram, you can probably guess why.

Here are MRI scans of intercourse -- meaning, yes, couples had sex in an MRI machine for science -- http://www.bmj.com/content/319/7225/1596.full -- It is really interesting though and it does give you a good handle on the anatomy.

I'd elaborate further, but I gotta run. I am a nurse in training, so I say that this is part of my education

 

I love that video Porneia, thanks.
I would have suggested http://www.synonym.com but unfortunately in the case of moan and groan it's not overly helpful.

Good article there Yarkoz, thanks.
An interesting quote in there:
"The scientific study of the interaction of human genitals during coitus and after ejaculation with and without female orgasm has always been difficult and controversial with ethical, technical and social problems."
I'd love to be participant in a scientific research experiment like that! I'm not sure how it could be construed as unethical if the people involved are there of their own free will, especially if they're already a sexually active couple.

It's also interesting that they found 'no evidence of structures suggesting a Gräfenberg spot, or a separate reservoir of fluid indicating “female ejaculation”'.

 

I have the same problem with that in german.

Sometimes low sigh squeak or squeal could fit, depending on the situation.

Making a noun could also be a way.

(I'm not familiar enough with english to be sure, that this would work in english language too. In german I use the word "Stöhnlaut", which just have a nice sound by itself)

Sometimes I describe it onomatopoeic, but if used to often, I think it sounds a bit posed.

Direct speech could be also a replacement, but that is probably way beyond pleasureably moaning.

 

What percent of woman do know this?
Being horny restricts rational thinking.
I think, that also depends on the mindset of the female character. Some accept sex without condom in the heat of the battle, others insist on using, even if it is the end of the world.
I think it is the same with accepting ass-to-mouth or ass-to-pussy.
I could also imagine that a gangbanged girl don't know, if the man in her pussy were in her ass before.
From ass-to-pussy could also be really fast. The girl could think "Oh no! Don't do that.", but after passing that line, she could accept, because it is already too late to change it.
Of course there are risks. And I really like, if a story shows the results of unmindful acting. Pain, illness and - after ass-to-mouth - even more humiliation by the results.

Some (trained?!?) women can even do really weird things with their uterus, like prolapsing. Inserting small objects (bars) into cervix seems also possible.
Beside that I'm sure, that it is impossible to penetrate the cervix regardless of the sexual position.

Thanks for sharing.
I'm not sure about the significance of the study about the real size (I didn't read the whole thing yet). Only 5% were measured erected. I'm sure, that there are differences in erected and stretched length (maybe 30%).
On the other side the erected lenght was measured by pros in an medical environment. Can't imagine, that everyone was cool enough to get him stone-hard ^^. Also I think that it also depends on the level of erection. I think, that a penis grows about another 10% short before orgasm.

Of course that doesn't change anything about the phenomenon that story-characters usually have unrealistic huge cocks.

 

Stretched was defined as pulling the glans until it was uncomfortable, so I doubt there would be a 30% margin there.

 

I wouldn't mind either to be honest, it sounds fascinating And although the researchers or the participants may not have a problem with it, but everything has to go by an ethics board to be approved, and they may take issue with it for some reason or another. I don't think they want to be sued later on, in case the participants have second thoughts and try to claim that the research has been used in a way that wasn't agreed upon in the consent forms, or the researchers didn't create decent enough consent forms in the first place that the participants did sign. It can be a legal minefield, and I can understand the reluctance of facilities, universities, and funding agencies. I'm not familiar with British law at all, since this is the British Medical Journal, but lawsuits and ethics reviews have been waged over much less in the United States.

Interestingly, a review came out recently that showed female ejaculate is just urine, and really I think that's been suspected for some time now. Squirting is just a particularly powerful stream at that moment, and women can pee standing up, but it takes a bit of practice and understanding of the anatomy involved. The G-spot, well, that's gone back and forth. Some ultrasound studies say it exists, MRI studies say it doesn't, and a large twin study published in 2009 said that 56% of women reported having a G-spot, with no correlation to genetics. Basically a coin flip. So... the G-spot is probably a subjective experience -- there's lots of nerves in the vaginal walls, and some women may have a particular concentration of nerve endings them in certain areas, but there's no one magic spot of orgasm.

Probably about the same percentage of men Really though, unless you really wash up beforehand (one's sex life is theirs of course), it's definitely not recommended. Even Planned Parenthood had an FAQ regarding this, so they've at least had questions about it. Who knows about the rate of couples who have tried it (especially teenagers -- I know I thought really strange things about anatomy and physiology then).

I haven't heard of a uterine prolapse being intentional -- I thought it only can be caused due to pregnancy, age, and heritable susceptibility. And I'd imagine that putting anything through the cervix would hurt madly, but then I've seen weird porn, so... I'm curious.

 

Interesting, as I've been making every effort to make the female characters I make in my stories as appropriately proportioned as possible; although there are cases where a certain woman does have certain endowments. That is something I'm trying to do with the curvy, busty characters I have on my "Slut World" stories.

 

Interesting point. I do confess to a big breast fetish, which I would guess isn't that uncommon. It is a pet peeve, however, when everyone has huge breasts. It reminds me of the line from the "Incredibles, that if "everyone (is) super, no one will be." In my opinion, if the main female character is very well endowed, it enhances that fact if people around her are normal sized.

Also, I really like RedMonika's philosophy of not giving a measurement. To quote, "I would prefer not to give out exact numbers, but leave it up to the reader's imagination. For some “busty” means a C cup, for others it is HHH." I think that is a very smart idea.

 

I totally agree, great point. Besides, I am never quite sure how to spell a sound effect, though I confess I do use them sometime.

 

Thanks for the advice, your list was very helpful, and I do like the world "Stöhnlaut." I might have to work that into a story.

 

I totally agree, it's the ideal solution. An easy way of allowing the story to be enjoyable for both the author, and a range of readers.

 

The above comments also go for penis size. And I truly hate when the MC has a 12" dick. It seems like half of all porn has huge 10-12 inch members. I keep imagining barbs on them, like Klingon penises. Just say he has the biggest dick she's seen or something. Unless you have a ruler, just use adjectives.

 

I agree.
Being overly specific seems like a bad idea almost all the time.