Convo starter- What inspires your stories

Nah, no worries at all, I imagine it's as strange and foreign and interesting to you as not being it is to me. The way brains can work completely differently is pretty cool, so don't worry about asking by any stretch! I feel like I might repeat stuff I said in the comment you were replying to in my response, but I'll try word it in different ways so that it's clear what I mean.

Basically, I know it's not some sort of repression because I am actually fully comfortable with sex. I'm physically capable of having it, it still feels just as good while having it, and I'm not even close to being against having it. I found out I was asexual pretty much the second I heard the real definition, since I'd always assumed it meant "can't fall in love", which is not the case for me. When I found out it just meant "doesn't have a craving for sex", it wasn't a big moment or anything, I was just "oh there we are then". Followed by realising how interesting it was to me that my brain worked differently than a majority of people, and trying to understand how those other people's brains worked.

Asexuality has nothing at all to do with being unable or unwilling to have sex, essentially. You can of course have some of those traits all at the same time, but that's like having brown eyes and stubby fingernails -- having one doesn't really impact the other at all. Some confusion comes sometimes when people who misunderstand what asexual means will call themselves it because they're not emotionally down to have sex, because asexual is such a weird and poorly marketed word. For real, why would we snatch the word that means "reproduces with itself"?

I'll use the hunger analogy again, because it's one I'm pretty proud of and I think it's a good way to understand the feelings for yourself. In this world, nobody really needs sex or orgasms, right? Anybody can go without them if they focus up, and everybody can survive without them. But people still crave it and desire them. So, imagine a world where it's like that for food -- nobody needs to eat to survive anymore, but people still feel hungry and get cravings. They'll survive fine without eating, and if they put their minds to it they can go without eating, but it's something they need to fight. An asexual person in this world can still chew, can still digest, can still enjoy the taste of food, and can still go out of their way to bake something because they know it'll taste nice just like anybody else. But an asexual person won't feel hungry.

If I was dating someone who, for whatever reason, never ever wanted to have sex, I'd be just as cool with it as you'd probably be if they never ever wanted to cuddle in front of the TV. "Aw man, that's an enjoyable way to spend time together emotionally, but no worries because there are a million other ways left". For someone who wasn't asexual, that would either be a dealbreaker or they'd try to work with it if they really loved the person, but even still would see it as a difficult thing to overcome and probably talk to their friends like "I dunno man, I love them so much, but it's a hard thing to get past. Hope we get through it together.". So being down to not have sex if your partner's against it doesn't mean you're asexual, being down to not have sex if your partner's against it without any struggle or problems at all means you're asexual. Well, maybe a half second of problem if you really enjoy the way sex feels, because then it's like dating someone on a diet who doesn't want you to bake any chocolate cakes in the house even though you love to eat chocolate cakes, but you'd get over it pretty quickly and it's a different problem than someone who isn't asexual. "I enjoy the thing I now can't do, aw man." instead of "My body tells me I need to do that thing but I can't now.".

So long as they didn't also happen to have an unrelated aversion to sex for whatever reason they may, an asexual person would be just as down to have sex seven times a day with their partner as they would no times a day with their partner, so long as their partner was cool with (and probably the deciding force behind) that choice. Tons of asexual people even choose to masturbate even though they don't need to, because again, sex feels good and chocolate cake tastes nice. Hopefully that answers all of your questions!

 

Okay that's interesting I think I do understand it better.

However when you mention the hunger analogy, you mention asexual people don't crave sex (or "don't feel hunger/crave food"), does that mean you don't feel horny or turned on?

I understand it's a bit of a silly question because if you don't you'll probably think "what does feeling horny feel like?"

 

Yeah, hard to say. It feels nice and the feeling can very much be enjoyed or requested, but I don't really have a thing to compare it to, like you say. I'm not sure how related or unrelated being horny and wanting a thing that feels good are.

 

As you worded it like that...
Having sex vs. getting off. Do you think asexual persons generally have a preference for either of them?

 

Well, even when people are all horny and stuff they still have the presence of mind to make sure it's good for their partners too, and sex has a lot more emotional and romantic stuff goin' on with it -- sex is a lot more than just getting off, so it's sort of like asking if there's a preference between watching a movie you like and watching a movie you like while cuddling the person you're dating. Maybe sometimes you'll just want to watch the movie without focusing on anything else because you just want your space, but most of the time adding in an intimate and romantic element is rad as hell.

 

@Almax, just read this thread and wanted to say "thanks" for the really great insights. I know you probably aren't seeking to represent the entire asexual community as your individuality as a person (your history, upbringing, culture, etc.) matters just as much as your sexuality, but it's always nice to get insights from people outside one's realm. I think the more we learn about people as individuals and things outside our own understanding/experiences, the more we can care about people and be more accepting. I know that's heavy considering this is a random site for erotic and crazy stories about whatever, but still. Thanks!

As to the original thread question: I have multiple things that inspire my stories; movies, TV, fandom, real events (past or present), pictures I come across in looking for scene inspiration for another story, etc. Though, as of this date, I only have one story on CHYOA, I just like exploring my imagination and sometimes my imagination gets horny so then whatever idea or story I'm toying might turn erotic.

 

I was rather asking if there's a preference between watching the movie and watching the movie's end. You can cuddle the person you're dating in either case, so you could assume that emotions and romantic stuff are equally high/low in both cases.

 

I wouldn't really call the end the fun part. It's part of the fun part, just like watching how it'd suck to watch a movie and stop before the end, but it'd suck just as much to watch the end without any of the beforehand and buildup. To go back to chocolate cake for an example again, it's much nicer when ya take yer time with it, I'd say, and if the goal was just to get off quick as then you don't really need the other person there. They're there for all of the other elements that make it special, not just the ending orgasm.

No idea if any of what I just said was like a "well yeh duh idiot", but if true then I didn't mean for it to be, that's just me overexplaining it because I don't actually know how far in I need to explain it, because I don't know how far in the differences go. Hopefully that sorts the question, though!

 

I mentioned it briefly in another thread, but I have ADHD which doesn't help when you also have a very very hyperactive imagination. I usually walk around my house listening to music and going through stories in my head often the same stories for multiple days at a time imagining what each character would do, where they would go, how the story develops in my head. However if I find myself coming back to the same story again and again I usually end up putting pen to paper. Also, not to get deep, but I have used writing as a foil for depression for the past half-decade, so I don't really care if people read my stories or not, I write because I enjoy it, and it ultimately distracts me in what I see as a positive way. It's a skill and a useful coping mechanism you can work on that has the knock on effect of helping in general with your English Language skills.