http://chyoa.com/story/the-free-kingdom-of-avaria/cover Hi, I'm Squelchapron. You might remember me from such projects as 'Alternatum" and '/r/freeuse.' Since I've been getting more views and comments than I expected on my first original story, I thought I'd make a thread. I'd love to hear your feedback, whether it's criticisms, suggestions, or sweet nothings. Thanks!
I love the story so far! The setting offers a lot of possibilities. One question: Do you have any specific rules regarding magic and gods/goddesses in the story? Or are we free to make things up as we go along?
About the illumination orbs from my recent thread: Small glass orbs of various colors (white is the most common). They have been enchanted to provide light. They are controlled via simple command words: One to turn it “on” and “off”, two more to increase and decrease the brightness, and a special one for when an intruder gets discovered. The special command word turns “on” ALL of the orbs in the vicinity, and then they cannot be turned “off” for the next 10 minutes (cue the guards searching for the intruder while there are no shadows to hide in). The orbs are rather expensive because most sorcerers are either not skilled and powerful enough to create them, or so powerful and skilled that they consider creating the orbs below them. But for Duke Avarton’s family money is not an issue, so the entire place is illuminated via such illumination orbs. The same goes for a few other rich families. And yes, most of the maids are busty – the Duke loves busty women…
I do not! As long as it seems congruent with the whole 'ruling caste of magic users' thing, I can roll with it. In my head, magical ability is hereditary and then expanded upon by experience, more or less like any other kind of intelligence. Different people have different amounts of difficulty discovering and expanding upon their abilities. I'm looking forward to your contributions as well... You're a more than welcome addition to the team.
