Recent content by targetthyself

The cup size after D and before E.

If only my teachers shared your liberalism.

The problem I have, in general, with Free Use and other similar concepts(the purge movies, for example) isn't the fetish(which I think is hot as fuck if done well) it's the fact that in most of the stories I've read it either just, happens out of nowhere, or it's existed forever but NONE of the...

Not just stuff like this, game stories basically disable the story map, or the use of the back button. Leaving you having to restart the "game" upon reaching the end, and punishes people who just want to read a few chapters at a time. It's very, very annoying and I haven't seen a single game...

If you're referring to the conditional branches page, all that might as well be greek.

Love your work, I wish you were writing something about a universe I cared about, that's about my only critique.

Honestly, I think game stories are annoying, and I already can't figure out what the fuck the variable shit does.

For the novelty of seeing finished work on this site. Small bites increases odds of that happening by an awful lot. I could just waive the cap, and not approve until you've posted a finished product.

The pitch would be we'd all come up with short (10-chapter or so maximum) short-stories that revolve around the aforementioned gloryhole, in a random gas-station outside Breeding, Kentucky. Only one-per-writer. The funnier, weirder, scarier, kinkier the better. Thoughts?

The heart of our lust comes from taboo. The more you hide an object of desire, the more I will desire it. If I see them everyday, I will move on over time.

Breast feeding sure, and that is the hook, but I wouldn't call that transformation scene "sexy" more like horror porn if anything. Fair enough, I suppose.

Nothing per say. I think voting would be better, personally.

I'll look through your work a bit more and give you a better critique tomorrow. I think I can help in one regard though. The img/.gif code is  make sure you leave no stray spaces.

This is fine for your uses. But a hallway bang in the opening just comes off as filler you could have spent developing characters readers will want to follow. Unless there's some reason you need them to be having sex to display a hook (For example: the story is about a space STD or bio-organism...