Just for Fun. Made Up Sex Positions.

An exercise in creativity. Each writer will post a title of a fictitious sex position and the next poster will have to describe it and then post their own made up title.

Example.
The Stage Couch- Three women all get into a dogie style position and the man penetrates the one in the middle while he fingers the other two.

Now here is one for the next poster.
The Red Dragon.

 

In a public place, a man gives woman a candle, lights it, fucks woman, and then uses the candle to light off fire crackers when he achieves orgasm announcing their achievement to the surrounding population.

'The Christmas Story'

 

Clearly that's when a man ejaculates into his partner's eye. "You'll shoot your eye out with that thing!"

Next up is the "bouquet toss."

 

Bouquet toss= where you rim job two or more anal virgins at a wedding before having anal sex with them but then never see them again after the wedding.

Next Up: The monkeys uncle

 

Monkey's Uncle: When a blindfolded person (typically a man) prepared to engage in conventional coitus is suspended from the ground via a swing, monkey bar, etc. and receives expected penile/vaginal stimulation, but also receives anal stimulation from a third party.
Variant "Monkies' Uncle": Monkey's Uncle in which neither partner is the original partner. Typically done as a prank.

"The Rose Whip."

 

The rose whip: Eating out a girl that is sitting on your shoulders as she performs sit ups.

Next: "Shooting the moon."

 

A bukkake scenario where it's the subject's ass being covered, rather than their face.

The Fred Flintstone

 

The Fred Flintstone= Where you cover your feet in a sticky substance such as honey and then cover them fruity pebbles for your partner to lick off while you masturbate.

Wet Dream on Elm Street

 

Having the girl Describe what Freddy is doing to her in her dream as your carrying it out for real

Woofing Masterbation

 

Woofing Masturbation

The act a girl jerking you off to to the beat of a song till ejaculation while your balls rest on a sub woofer speaker while it is playing any who let the dogs out or any thing by snoop dog.

The Muddy Unicorn.

 

Hmm, 'the muddy unicorn'

*Idea pops into head. Vomits*

 

"The Muddy Unicorn": BD/SM position where the sub affixes a strap-on to their forehead and analy pleasures the Dom with it.

New Position: "The Pokemon Craze"

 

"The Pokemon Craze": The act of putting your evolved Diglet up your partner's Cloyster, making Squirtle escape your Poké Balls and land on her Jigglypuffs.

Next up: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"

 

"The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly": this term actually applies to two separate things: one is a new slang term for triple penetration, 'good' pussy, 'bad' anal, 'ugly' mouth.

The other is different.
In that position the term is actually backwards.
First your partner starts out "bumping uglies" with you.
Then when he cums he transitions to your mouth and you lick him clean then suck him back to hardness while friging yourself. (Bad)
Lastly, having already cum, he is able too "love you long time" and give you a multiple orgasm. (Good)


New Position: an "Oceans' Eleven"...

 

Eleven females wearing strap-ons lie in circle on their sides and thrust into the person in front of them and that girl does the same to the person in front them and the first girl thrust again. If done correctly the mass of bodies looks like rolling waves.

Next: Dungeons and dragons

 

Actually, I think that last one is a real thing Rico...

 

Dungeons and dragons: played with three females and one male. The females pick a separate role : fighter (ass), mage (vagina), thief (mouth) and role off a d20 for initiative to see the turn order. They take turns rolling the d20 for damage against the man's 'dragon' (damage = number of strokes/penetrations per turn).

Whoever slays the 'dragon' has to then share the 'loot' with the other heroes (in their assigned orifice).


The Little Bo Peep

 

"The Little Bo Peep" is sex right after a girl has shaved or "Lost her sheep"

Next up '2016'

 

2016: when a disenchanted lesbian finds the slimiest fuck around to screw her brains out so that she can remember why she was a lesbian in the first place.

The stupid is as stupid does

 

The stupid is as stupid does:
not so much a distinct position as a slang term for any type of sex act that could be used-as/result-from the punchline of a "you might be a red neck" joke. (Especially the ones about incest...)

New Position: "The Flying Zombie"