So I wanna do this story but I have some questions to ask first. My idea is that the protagonist, Leon, and is childhood friend, Liz, are trapped in a video game while trying to find Leon's missing sister, Jess. I plan to have seven routes, one for each main love interest; Liz Prendick the childhood friend. She appears in the game as a dog girl. Violet, a dragon girl who is a celebrity in real life. Griffin (not settled on a first name yet), a medical student who is not acknowledged or respected by those around her. She appears in the game as an angel. An ill girl who appears in the game as a male demon. An NPC Lily, a female player who appears as an angel that kills other players. Jess the main character's sister. Katelyn, Samantha and Amelia are names I'm planning to give the unnamed players. I just haven't decided which ones yet. But I have some questions first. 1, Is "I'm trapped in a video game" a good title? If not, is there a better one? 2, How long should my story take before the premise itself actually starts. I've done a draft and right now, and I'm at six chapters before the character goes into the game. 3, I also started with a flash forward prologue where my main character is already in the game before flashing back to how he got inside. Is that a good idea or does it not really work for a CHYOA story? 4, I plan for one of his love interests to be an NPC in the game. The question is it okay as long as the NPC is at least 18 years old in the universe of the game, or would the NPC count as underage unless the game itself is 18 years old? 5, While I've thought up some names for my main character and his love interests, I can't think of any surnames, apart from Prendick and Griffin. I know it might be a moot point in the case of Leon and Jess, as I plan for Leon's name to be customisable, not I wanna go with something better than Doe. edit: I've changed Lily to the name of the player who kills other players. It kinda fits if it's short for Lilith.
"Trapped in a Video Game" is a perfect title. No "I'm", though, it's superfluous. On a site like this, it's far more important to clearly communicate the content of the story than to try to be clever or poetic. (Unrelatedly, I just noticed you have a typo in your signature: '19th gender'.) In my opinion, you should have at most 1 chapter of introduction, or you risk people bouncing off. If you have a lot of backstory or world building, you should keep it in your back pocket and sprinkle elements of it into the story when it comes up. Not everything needs to be clearly explained in a advance, and in fact, it's better that it isn't. I wrote the answer to 2 before I read this, and so this should come as no surprise: yes, I like this idea! The game is what the story is about, after all, everything else is secondary. If she clearly looks like an adult, and acts like an adult, I don't think you'll have any problems. My first thought when reading 'Prendick' was that it reminded me of Uther Pendragon, Kind Arthur's father. Given that, I'd use it as Violet's surname, since she's a dragon girl. Since you have Lilith the angel, looking among angelic figures for a male demon might be interesting. Keep in mind that you will probably not refer to surnames a lot (if at all), so don't worry about it too much, though.
Okay, Trapped in a Video Game. Thanks for telling me about my signature. It's meant to say 19th century. Prendick is named after the protagonist from Island of Doctor Moreau, since since she's a a dog girl, similar to a character I created for I reincarnated as a Homunculus in a steampunk world with 19th century characters but everyone is gender-swapped. I might use Pendragon as the name of Violet's character in the game.
Oh, another question I forgot to ask. What do people think of Leon being allowed to leave the game at times and interact with the girls in real life? And what is a good pace for Leon to level up in the game?
If the title says 'trapped', then at least someone should really be trapped. You could go write it so they only become trapped after a few play sessions, thus giving you an excuse to talk about real life... but then you have to spend a bunch of time talking about the real world only for it to become irrelevant when they do become trapped. That's kind of silly. You could give him a real chance to escape, but make it a moral conundrum: sure, he's free to leave, but if he does, all the people he'll have gotten to know and love in the game will suffer for it, and in the end, he returns voluntarily, all heroic-like. You can only really do that once, though, or it'll get repetitive. Alternatively, step away from them being trapped entirely and turn it more into what's portrayed in the Black Mirror episode Striking Vipers (S05E01), with your characters having boring ordinary real lives, but sexy exciting adventures in the game. I guess it could be anywhere, but it'll naturally be a place he visits regularly, so I'd pick a spot that also drives the plot forward. If you have people there who know in-game lore, or who supply useful information about antagonists, or who have possible solutions to the problem he's facing at the moment, that in turn provides an incentive to go back out into the world. Think Deckard Cain.
That's fine. (Given the character is described accordingly.) As already pointed out... Though if the characters can lose lives, they might meet in some kind of lobby before they get thrown back into the game. Maybe there are some lobby penalties depending on how many lives have already been lost. I guess the only point of doing that might be to show the differences between the characters' looks and behavior inside the game and outside.
Leon and Liz end up inside the game when logging in to find Jess, who is missing. They would be trapped but be allowed to temporarily exit the game after completing current quests. They would be sent back into the game afterwards, so they would still be trapped. I think you might have misread the question. I mean the PACE, not place. I know that after a while, readers will expect Leon to level up but I'm not sure what is too soon, or too late. Would reading something like the Gamer be useful in that regard?
Oh! Yes, I did misread. I have no idea how to tell you what the right pacing for a story is, not without actually reading it first. Sorry!
I've been thinking of having a girl option for the main character. Is that a good idea, or not? So starting with a flash forward is okay? Maybe if I start with a flash forward, showing a bit of the game world without specifying the protagonist's gender and then give readers an option.
Also, if they are allowed out temporally when they complete certain quests, should I name it "In a Videgame"?
