Hi everyone, Link to the story I started writing this to get out of writer's block. It went in a direction I didn't fully expect, though I'm still happy with what I've written so far. I'm looking for feedback on my writing style, constructive criticism, and ideas on where the story can go from here. I also need help with tagging my story. Do I tag each chapter individually, or can I tag the entire story? I'm not sure how that works. Thanks for reading!
I really enjoyed the start of the story, but I felt like the story took a pretty abrupt twist afterwards (in both branches), and the supernatural elements weren't really my jam. That's less Objective Constructive Criticism and more Person On Internet Has Opinion, though. I would've liked a little more interaction with the people near Dana. Nothing too overt, mind you, but you could use their reactions (or lack thereof!) to what's happening to Dana to reinforce her reluctance and/or embarrassment and/or excitement. As for tagging, it's a bit of a hassle, but tagging individual chapters is best. You can search by chapter, and while that gets rid of much of the long-term plot in stories, it can get at specific fetishes a lot quicker, especially niche/rare ones in huge stories.
Having more interaction with surrounding people is a great suggestion. When I'm reading stories, I don't like it when the author spends more time on the surrounding people than the woman herself, which is why I wrote the story this way. That being said, maybe I went too far in the other direction. If you have any examples of stories that do this well, please share them. EDIT: I updated some of the earlier chapters with paragraphs related to other people's reactions. Thanks for the feedback, I think that did help in making them feel more complete.
Since I last posted, I've updated the story with a lot of chapters and scenarios. I'm wondering if it's better to continue building this fictional universe or to make new stories for other scenarios that come to mind. My views for earlier chapters are much higher than the deeper ones. I know stories don't usually end at chyoa, but what do you think about a definitive end to the story versus endless scenarios in this fictional world? (Not that I can write endlessly of course, but hopefully others will be interested in contributing eventually)
I kinda wrote myself into a dead end in my other paths, so I went back and wrote a path that is more grounded and focused on humiliation. https://chyoa.com/chapter/She-doesn't-resist-(Slave-Path).1308590 Hoping for some feedback on this approach, maybe it works better.
