Marcie and Gina read CHYOA

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Gambio, Jan 24, 2021.

  1. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

  2. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

  3. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Gambio likes this.
  4. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    damn, if you keep this up your actually going to knock all the masochist modes out
     
  5. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

  6. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    God damnit now you made me check XD

    I think you're still missing saktongmanyak unless you count the answer chapter you did on him.
     
  7. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Hmm. Next time, then.
     
  8. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

  9. IdealSimp

    IdealSimp Guest

    Would you be interested in reviewing a Raceplay story? Male protagonist. Main themes are cuckolding, femdom, racism and small penis humiliation so far. Obviously quite niche kinks. Weird as Hell if you're not into them, so totally understand if you don't wanna read it. Been thinking about adding a second, female route down the line once I've fleshed out the male one.

    The story's brand new and not much has happened so far but there's a few chapters. Enough to get a feel for my writing style anyway. Would appreciate any constructive criticism you have for me. Feel free to just absolutely roast btw.

    https://chyoa.com/story/Tales-from-Rahowa.56483
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2023
    Gambio likes this.
  10. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Oh yeah, don't worry Marcie and Gina don't kinkshame

    Actually, thats a boldfaced lie, they absolutely do.

    But they also don't turn down any submission no matter the subject. So, sure no problem.
     
    IdealSimp likes this.
  11. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    ...is that RaHoWa as in Racial Holy War the RPG? Literally the racist RPG? I don't normally kinkshame, but Jesus wept.
     
    IdealSimp likes this.
  12. IdealSimp

    IdealSimp Guest

    Yup. That's what Rahowa means, yeah. Term's older than that game though. And it seemed like a good name to me, given the setting of a post-race war world.

    I have a few other raceplay stories in the works that use the same name mind you. But with different racial dynamics. Overarching theme of the series is highly fetishized racism. Not sure when they'll ever be released because I wanna finish the first one first which will definitely take a while. But I've got the rough ideas in my head.

    The stories I've got in mind are:
    - Tales from Rahowa: Eurabia (Arab/Muslim themed raceplay)
    - Tales from Rahowa: Vengeance (This will be a timeskip sequel to the original, with the Whites taking over control and being dominant)
    - Tales from Rahowa: Radfem Republic or just Radfem Republic (This is more explicitly femdom but there will still be racial elements. Might scrap the racial stuff entirely though and just have a purely femdom story. Haven't decided yet.)

    Anyway I look forward to the critiques. I know I write some weird stuff. Always enjoyable to hear people's reactions. :)
     
  13. Hvast

    Hvast Really Really Experienced

    I humbly ask our best critics to revisit a branch in the "omnipotent girlfriend"

    https://chyoa.com/chapter/Lara-has-more-to-offer.1209636

    An alternative branch, in which the protagonist is even more depraved than in the one critics masterfully and fairly reviewed previously.
     
    Gambio likes this.
  14. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Hereby put in the backlog!

    Damn, has been a while since I could say that lol
     
  15. GamerChick077

    GamerChick077 Experienced

    I got one.

    World as Myth

    It's an isekai about a boy who reincarnates as a catboy, meets a couple of Oni girls and goes to other worlds based on works of fiction to find the reincarnations of the friends he left behind. He also has sex with women in those worlds.
     
  16. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    ok
     
  17. GamerChick077

    GamerChick077 Experienced

  18. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    IdealSimp likes this.
  19. IdealSimp

    IdealSimp Guest

    Goddamn it I should've held off before submitting. A lot of their criticisms are about to be addressed in the second day.

    It's just beginning why did I submit so early AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

    Anyway cheers. This was incredibly fun to read. Thanks.
     
    Gambio likes this.
  20. Alibara

    Alibara Really Experienced

    Similar thing happened with my story, except mine had 50 chapters before. It's just that Marcie and Gina's issues with the villain's vague motives are addressed in chapter 56.
     
    Gambio likes this.