A story about a young blonde girl from Russia

Thank you! I think I´m not doing well enough. My descriptions are too short. Sorry!

 

It obviously hadn't been renovated since thirty years

to

It obviously hadn't been renovated in thirty years

and

waste piled up on the parking lot

and

waste piled up in the parking lot

Zingiber's suggestion could also be

Worried, Lilija was figuring how long her money would last.

Thast last one is just an added comma.

Really, I think what you've written would be perfectly fine in a post. Length-wise try for two at minimum and you should be fine, though more might be appreciated by readers, but it really depends on the scene.

 

Thank you!

 

Shouldn't this thread get moved to story feedback?

 

At this point I agree. The story has taken off and this thread is now used for help with editing and feedback. That's the criteria for Feedback, not Ideas.

Topic moved.