Hello. This thread is for feedback and discussion about the story "Diesel City". https://chyoa.com/story/Diesel-City.11921 Looking for ideas, input, criticisms, etc. Thanks. -sindermann
This is probably not all that useful as feedback... but I'm really enjoying the story, as in the bigger plot of the world at war and how say Bridget is gradually getting sucked into it. It's so fun and intriguing and filled with real peril. It's all so obviously well planned. I hope things work out for Bridget. Ideas... I would like to see something of a male protagonist in this world maybe? In the beginning I thought a more detailed male perspective was missing, but then Elliot was introduced and his characterization has been great. Great work.
Thanks for the feedback. Most of the "flavor" for the setting is based on research for products, vehicles, etc for the time, with some fanciful exceptions. The baseball game, for example, has a roster accurate to 1965 for the White Sox and the Tigers.
This is such a fascinating setting and story ai dont know where to begin aside from just gushing about it! One of the things I like about this one is that the fact that the setting is so pulpy allows it to get to some really dark content without becoming too 'real'. Compared to other freeuse stories, which historically haven't really done it for me, in this one the whole thing is routine, but not altogether unquestioned and unremarked upon. I like exploring the agency of the viewpoint characters, and it provides opportunities for both conflict and humor. One setting question I have which came up in the last chapter is how fantastic the technology should be. It seems to be a given that medicine and engineering are very advanced and can do whatever the story needs them to - at the very least, STDs seem to have been eradicated -but what about things that outright break the laws of physics, like the infamous helicarrier from marvel comics? I recall "Mengele's monsters" being mentioned in a newsreel - are there 'bioshock' levels of magical genetics going about? The general rule of thumb Ill go with is if someone has seriously proposed a piece of tech, no matter how outlandish and impractical, it is obviously fair game, but otherwise to try and avoid adding any more comic book science than strictly necessary.
Thanks for the compliments fyreant, and thanks even more for your contributions. Your arc is absolutely fantastic, and the Masterson character is absolutely perfect for this setting. As for the technical aspects of a Dieselpunk story, there is just so much you can do and draw from that it makes writing it so much fun. For technology in this world, everything from airships and walking tanks to cyborgs is fair game. What can technologically be achieved its really up to the contributor so long as it adheres to the "rule of cool" and doesn't rely on sleek cybernetics or advanced computers. "Pulpy" without being comic bookish is the key to this setting. Check out some of the Popular Mechanics "in the future" type of stuff from the era to see where advanced technology is headed. In this story, STDs are obviously a thing of the past and the horrors of perpetual global war with a staggering number of casualties (I'm assuming approximately 250-500 million total) have led the involved nations to advance their WWII era technology in interesting but divergent directions from history as improving existing tech has overshadowed emergent technology; hence the reason we end up with rocket assisted bombs as opposed to modern missles, combination planes that have both jet technology and propellers, etc. Healthcare is immensely important when literally half of the world's population has at some point been on the front lines, and different nations have solved these problems in different ways. The Americans favor prosthetic enhancements for their troops, while the Stadt relies more on genetic modifications (which I am interested in seeing how other contributors use that). Hulking seven foot tall "Ubermensch" that can breathe mustard gas and can shoulder a minigun are certainly not out of the question. Dieselpunk encompasses so many fetishes that its been a blast to incorporate all of them into what I hope is a coherent world. Military fetishism, leather, latex, BDSM, etc are so prevalent in "non-erotic" dieselpunk that it makes for an excellent cache of source material. While the setting is utterly fanciful, I felt it was important that the "free use" aspects needed to be internally logical and more "real" to both show the differences between cultures and add an element of humanity to explore. Some of my personally favorite scenes to write are Bridget and her co-workers. They aren't abusive or mean to her and genuinely care about her well-being as does she with theirs. Not only does this allow for investment in the characters, but offers a stark contrast to the "rougher" aspects of the story. Another difference from other free use stories is that the women are full participants in the society they find themselves in rather than just glorified sex dolls even if they get used as such daily; and have adopted various social strategies to deal with it that has been very interesting to elaborate on. Thanks again for your contributions, and for the encouragement and feedback.
I like the setting. ;-) And i very much like the contributions by fyreant! Will try to add more chapters myself, but it might take some time, as time is not something i have in abundance these next weeks. Invited to birthdays, have to travel for work, etc.
Your contribution is not only fantastically well written but I am really glad to see somebody obviously intending to explore the grimdark ground war aspect of this setting, that's a tone which is deeply ingrained in the dieselpunk genre. Haven't read the latest chapter yet but I will as soon as I get home!
Okay, two things. First, Fyre, you're actually one of my big inspirations on this site, so I want to thank you for the kind words. It means a lot. Second... I don't want to give you the wrong idea about my story. I have no intention of exploring the Front Line or anything like that. So if you're expecting that, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression.
Fyreant: I plan on going to the Front Line for an arc in the Grace Westmore story arc once I finish Bridget's first story. Not to give too much away, but she'll land a foreign correspondent's assignment somewhere in Europe. As for a dedicated story on the Front, I can't decide if I want to go with a Red Army focus or an Allied focus. Both are very appealing to me to write. To be perfectly honest, I'm happy to let the other contributors flesh out their stories so I can draw inspiration from them before tackling such a massive research project that would do the genre justice.
Sorry my next few chapters are so late. Up to my dick in work. I should hopefully have something new for this weekend.
