Does anyone else have a hard time writing a sex scene?

I know this is a weird question to ask on an literary erotica site, but does anyone else have a hard time writing a straight up sex scene?

I do.

I love writing the set up and dialogue for a possible sex scene, but when it gets to the actual sex I find it difficult to keep it fresh and creative. The more fetish oriented, or outlandish, the easier, but a normal standard sex scene I find hard to keep it interesting, especially if it's not the first time it happens in the story.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Does anyone have any suggestions how to keep multiple standard sex scenes in a story fresh and different? Again, I don't mean the setup, which is easy for me, but the actual sex.

 

I realize I have the same problem with most porn, which I find boring. Straight sex scene after another sex scene gets stale. Sometimes I find the sex scenes in R-rated movies more interesting than X-rated ones.

 

Keeping things fresh is a challenge, and I do often wonder if I'm getting stale - and I think it's probably a good maxim that if I'm bored trying to write a scene, the reader is probably bored trying to go through it. A lot of keeping things fresh is about the approach. Yeah, there might only be so many ways to lick a pussy, but every time your character is licking a pussy something has to be different - the anatomy, the taste, the technique, the response of the partner, the setting, the mood - and if you can define that, capture it, make the scene about that...I think it helps.

That being said, I don't get pretty much any feedback on my sex scenes except likes, so I may well be doing terrible and not knowing it.

And there's a good reason for that: the production values are higher, there's an actual plot and investment in the characters, their feelings and motivations, the camera work and lighting are all designed to tease and tantalize and work the audience up...the bare mechanical bits that make up gonzo pornography, by contrast, are a lot of "insert tab a into slot b, repeat" a great deal of the time, and while that has some limited appeal, in erotic fiction I think you need to engage the mind more, sell the reader on the scenario, and then try to maintain the mood while also doing justice to the naughty bits - and that's a more difficult thing than most folks imagine.

 

Sometimes I go back to old stuff I wrote. Or stuff other people have wrote and change it around a tiny bit to make it match my current story.

 

It's hard sometimes, yeah. But just writing about sex is just about as interesting as always eating a ham sandwich.
Is there anything wrong with a ham sandwich? No. Are ham sandwiches good? Absolutely.

So what makes a ham sandwich different?
What if you add a tomato? Lettuce? Bacon? Spice it up -- put some sliced turkey on there? Mayonnaise?

Some people don't like all the garnish and just want that ham sandwich. However ham sandwiches, over time, get boring.

The same can be said about sex scenes. Sure at first they're like, "wow they're doing it lol this is friccin hot" but by the fifteenth time you've written, "He puts his pp in her vergina" you've gotten tired. You need to spice it up to keep both you (as the writer) and the audience engaged. Or, if there's multiple options (i.e. One girl can be banged, but it's a totally different storyline than another getting banged), then rewriting scenes with similar language can be viable. Not every branch in a story is meant to be explored to be honest -- make sure the readers can understand that if they pick a branch with a girl, they might get similar verbiage and positions as if they pick another.

Also, it's different when you're eating vs. when you're making the sandwich. You have to realize that when you write these it may seem stale, but that's because you've literally been writing the entire story. The people clicking on it probably don't know everything, so when you describe a similar sex scene you've written -- to yourself you're going, "ech, boring, I've done this before," but the reader literally knows none of that.

Other than that, I got nothing. Just try spicing it up. Describe the taste, the smells, the emotions. Include quippy dialogue if you must. Dirty talk. It's written words -- use. your. imagination.

 

I think you stole a part of my brain - the part that exactly thinks like you. And I couldn't have said it better than @Zeebop even if I wanted to. But yes vanilla stuff and gonzo porn does not cut for me anymore, I guess I've been over saturated now to enjoy it anymore. Honestly, I have not written a lot so far to actually start experiencing it but I can exactly relate to it.

Some other things that I think work well are:
1. Synonyms help even when describing the exact same scene, they give a different feel to it. Combined with say a minimum 6-7 variables that @Zeebop mentioned you can end up with north of 5040 scenes (factorial 7). Not exactly how one would calculate that but I guess you get my drift.
2. Reading other peoples work does an amazing job. My first language is not English, so getting to know words that are pertinent to erotica and not some scientific gibberish becomes vital for me.
3. This one might sound funny but another quick inspiration I use is instead of vid clips that can be long and boring search for gifs. Looking at hundreds of ways side by side a pussy can be licked gets my creativity gears turning. Also, people make gifs of generally some interesting scene so that help a lot as well.

I also do agree that feedback is lacking in departments I'm interested in.

 

Sometimes the words pour out, sometimes every word is like a heavy rock on your way.
During sex scenes, I mostly struggle to get all the desired details into the sentence.

If you start low you can go one better with each scene (this isn't meant in terms of quality). If you start with the super ecstatic, never-seen-before fuck fest, it's hard to top that.
Though it can also be good to have a scene which is disappointing for the characters.

For the reader, it might also be like eating that sandwich at a different place...

 

For me, it comes back to the dramatic intent of the scene. I won't claim I never throw in sex for sex's sake (though on CHYOA I usually make that a side-branch so it can be skipped if people want), but most of the time the sex comes from something, whether that's character or plot driven. Because of that, I can usually season the scene with the dramatic, comedic, or other elements that derives from the intent, and that makes it different.

 

Been there!

Solid advice.

Totally agree about the mind thing, hence my love of chyoa. The scenario and mood is fun to write, but it is "doing justice to the naughty bits" where the difficulty comes in. There is no limits to the difference possibilities of a scenario and mood leading to intercourse. The options of human intercourse, however, are limited to our biology.

Thanks for the advice, it was helpful.

 

That is something I also wrestle with. Is it wrong to two use the same scene in two different thread-lines?

Good point. But I wonder how many people actually read through each thread or simple skill ahead to the more explicit chapters.

You're imagery of making a sandwich versing eating it is spot on. I can quickly think of so many different ways I could describe making a sandwich. Eating it, however, would be hard to make interesting beyond one or two times. (Thus my problem.)

Thanks for the advice.

P.S.
I love One-Punch man, I hope they put the second season in English soon.

 

Damn, I'm jealous. English is my native language and I frequently butcher it. Your English skills are impressive.

I kind of do this. I find a picture of the (female) lead character and keep it pasted in the word processor I am using. The picture, however, doesn't have to be explicit, just seeing the girl helps. Watching hundreds of pussy vids, however, sounds really boring to me. I don't mean this as a rejection of your advice, but simply to illistrate my problem.

 

Spot on advice, unfortunately for the plot of my Catwoman story the first time is suppose to be "super ecstatic."

I totally agree with this. It is rarely done but it is a very effect technique.

 

I remember reading one popular philosopher who argued we take sex way to seriously in this modern age. I think he, and you, are spot on. A comedic element can add a lot.

 

I'm a huge fan. I also love the picture, haha. I had another random photo as my profile originally as a placeholder for so long before I decided Saitama should definitely take his place.

Also yes, it's totally fine to use the same sex scene -- or a similar one -- in a different branch. As many different ways there are to make a sandwich, there are only so many ways in which people like it.

 

Thanks, though I consider myself average but I do try to proof read as much as I can. Considering, the 2nd generation of my race does so well in spelling bees my English skills are far behind

Actually I was discouraging vids too. I was referring to gifs, like the ones here https://www.sex.com/search/gifs?query=pussy+licking You can easily scroll through and find the ones that tickle your fancy. Either way, to each their own

Guilty as charged. Well this is simply my taste but I feel in erotica every chapter should have some elements of it even when the sole motive is story progression. It does not need to be very explicit either. It could be a thought bubble, heck even describing a fully clothed woman in a sensual way while she does the most boring task can spice up a chapter for me.

 

I strongly believe that sex scenes can be among the most mechanically/physically/action *as well as* emotionally/spiritually difficult scenes to write well in all of literature, considering their layered (and real) importance.

Sex is one of those things where reality can become uncommonly strange.

Unbelievable.

How many otherwise noble and wise priests have fallen for girls and boys?

How many parents have betrayed their social/financial/emotional investment?

How many bosses and husbands or wives have wrecked perfect lives, for emotions and actions of lust or simple physical/emotional connection?

Even at its most vanilla angle - what's the opportunity cost of mutual exclusivity and traditional marriage?

Any aspect of any of this might be 'unrealistic' - but is real, in the real world.

Making it real, and sexy, and realistic (as it is and should be) is a literary challenge for the greatest minds - properly recognized or not.

That.. all that, and putting it in an action scene people can get into, and more, makes the craft of erotica an art.

Good luck!

 

Not to downplay the questions asked and answers provided. I read this post and appreciated all the responses... I just wanted to second this hehe.

 

Very thought provoking post, thank you. But the things you listed about the power of sex (and also love) is why the set up is so much fun. In my Catwoman story I love writing from the much more moral and traditional protagonist's point of view as he deals with the sex-bomb that is Selina Kyle. The problem is when getting to the act itself, it quickly can become insert Thing A into Part B and add gyration.

 

Forgive my whining, but here is an example with problem I am dealing with. I just finished two erotic (at least I think so) threads setting up a sex scene in the shower between the protagonist and Catwoman. The threads were easy and a blast to write. (They can be found at: #01 & #02).

But now the sex scene. Ugh! I just want to write "they had sex, it was good" and move on with the story.

 

...I won't pretend I've never done that....

Sometimes, if I'm really into the foreplay but the sex isn't clicking, I'll try to write the sex as a continuation of the foreplay -- as though the actual penetration is just the way the two of them are continuing to get in the mood and prepare for the 'real' sex.