Looking for some feedback on my story. https://chyoa.com/story/apocalypse-z/cover I feel like it is a little slow, but I don't want to reveal too much too fast.
Sorry mrxl, but your story, if I can say, is not a little slow it's developing quite well, just let yourself go with it and never worry about what other people think, being an artist is about communicating some full on messages/stories and what it means to be you and the stories and characters that you must share with others and express yourself, your thoughts, stories and feelings in some way to the world (it's exactly the same with visual artists, film makers, etc). But, anyway, sorry to bend your ear there. Please let me put it this way, from a reader and fan's point of view, your apocalpyse-z is pretty much well established with detailed characters and an enthralling storyline, plenty of action and a mysterious infection that does or doesn't need to be explained, look at the lord of the genre, George Romero, he's never given a shit what hollywood or anyone thinks or says, he just goes ahead and does it. Anyway, sorry for bugging you. Cheers Jonray
Thanks jonray for this comment and the rest of the comments. I'm glad you enjoy it. I like that comment " a mysterious infection that does or doesn't need to be explained". This is exactly the idea boost I needed for the next storylines.
Thanks mrx,l I'm glad I was of any help. but I was thinking, your MC is a pretty straightforward and a hard-nosed sorta guy, he's got to have some immunity to the girl zombies, maybe it might be transferable to other people, thus making a stronger group and his ability to fuck them senseless (maybe the Z Girls he fucks can't leave him and follow thus affording a zombie shield around him) and survive Anyway sorry for banging on, but also I've changed my thoughts about Ashley, maybe she's more like Juliet Starling, from http://lollipopchainsaw.wikia.com/wiki/Lollipop_Chainsaw Anyhow, looking forward to see where you go with your story, Best of luck and Best of wishes, Cheers Jonray
I don't really want to influence too much of your thoughts on Ashley (outside the story). She wasn't really suppose to make such an impact, but I some characters just start to take on a life of their own. I'm glad you like her. As for the MC and the group, I'm still several storylines away from growing them into what they will become in AZ. Once established, I plan go back and branch off.
Great to hear you've got some ideas and storylines cooking away there, but please don't forget you've created a really good, straight talking, no nonsense MC with a wild and crazy ex-girlfriend, that is so unique in any zombie genre, I really mean it, she is potentially a great character, she actually bites the MC the first time she sees him and why does she do it - for fun and because she's batshit crazy, now in any other scenario that's like a death warrant, any other survivors would shot him on sight as he has clearly been infected. Heheh, but this girl not only does that but turns around and saves the MC from a gruesome, if not enjoyable way to exit life, then she takes on a couple of undead dudes in a spectacular feat of acrobatics, even though she fails, she still manages to get through it and most likely escaped and took out the Z's and dragged the over come MC back inside to his flat and bed to either screw him in his sleep or just to fall asleep with him. Honestly, you've got a strong MC with an amazing ex-girlfriend, who's totally insane that she's willing to die for him and mix into that a possible whole bunch of people, horny zombies and then not to mention Ashley's brother and a neighbour's wife, who is just itching to kill or fuck the MC (or maybe do the both at the same time)... Anyhow sorry to bend ya ear again, but it is really refreshing and startling to see such unique and interesting characters in this situation/genre. Thanks again for sharing your story. Cheers Jonray.
FYI just a small title change. Turns out Apocalypse Z is already taken as a book title. Nothing for Apocalypse Zex, though there was a Zex Apocalypse TV show on public access
Back! After 2 year hiatus... I kinda got bored with Jackpot. There was way too many characters to add and introduce before I even got to the main story.
I'm gonna focus on the MC story and avoid Holly's and other side stories. But anyone feel free to add it and flush it out. I do have a few plans for the side stories to keep continuity.
