I mentioned awhile ago that one of the stories I'd considered but never gotten around to writing was "Bad Sex" - the idea that the protagonist is horny and desperate for action, but due to bad luck, desperation, hasty decisions, lack of foresight, circumstances beyond their control, rampant stupidity, or some combination of the above ends up in sexual situations which are...less than ideal. Basically, instead of a story about all the hot sex and relationship building that characterizes the erotic story, this was going to be the story about all the terrible things that can happen. Nonlethal injuries. Forgetting the condom and trying to use a substitute. Dealing with kinks your date has but you don't. Outright craziness. Your date takes their dentures out. All the old sex ed horrors that you can remember from high school. And there was this one thing...one of those images I have a hard time getting out of my mind... - Dirty Smurf Talk. Your date is cosplaying as a smurf and wants dirty talk. "Oh, Papa Smurf! I want you to stick your raging smurf in my dripping smurf box! Smurf my smurf until I smurfing smurf! Shoot your little smurfs in me until I smurfing smurf!" Anyway, so that's the lingering bad sex idea that's been knocking around my head all day. What would be your ideal (hilarious, terrible, hopefully happen to somebody else) bad sex scenario?
Yet another terrible idea, because my id is terrible tonight: - Hitler and the Abominable Snowman. Germany, 1943. The war is not yet lost. The German expedition to Tibet has returned with something incredible...a missing link between ape and man, humanoid long thought extinct. A creature with blond fur and bright blue eyes... Aside from "wrong on so many levels" approach, the idea would ultimately be to 1) play to having the Nazi's bullshit racial theories upended by this discovery, and 2) see "der Fuhrer" get raped by his own warped Aryan ideal. While I don't normally care for non-consent, I have a pretty high tolerance if the person getting reamed out is Hitler.
That reminds me of that Russian dude who wanted to create an ape-human hybrid https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smar...ts-quest-to-make-an-ape-human-hybrid-5043859/ (which most certainly crosses the line into bestiality, but you could insert him into the story somehow).
