Well, I once again wanted a change of theme. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Introduction.605977 It's still a new story, but I'm several chapters (and god knows how many words) deep already, and there's a few sex-scenes to check out. Let me know what you guys and gals think! I'm focusing on a single branch, rather than giving the player tons of options like I usually do, and it's really helping me keep up steam. If you'd like to see a particular character fleshed out, or a branch added, just let me know, and give me some motivation to distract myself from the male MC! Thanks for checking it out, like always, and thanks for reading. Have fun!
Well, I've gotten tons of views, likes, and comments, but not really much in the way of feedback. It's still a "New Story", but I'm 26 chapters deep so far! Let me know what you guys think, what you'd like to see added, and what I could improve on. Thanks!
I know what you mean, you really want feedback but nope, nothing, I feel that; so you know what I'll bite. The story is great, I mean you got story of the week, so I mean that must be something. I've also found two typos that I commented on. I very much like the map of the bunker, I kind of wish I thought of that for my own story, for things like the shuttle, and other buildings. Now I hesitate to say anything bad about the story as I love the premise, also enjoying Thrust, however I do have a problem with Jane's storyline; I was kind of hoping that the surprise would well be more than that. Not that I don't like an ol' girl with cock; I'm bisexual after all. But at least I generally like stories where the protagonist has a bit of size advantage if you catch my drift (especially if they're a man), it really pulls me out of a story. I know you commented how it is going to be a big branch in the future. Now I'm not trying to make you change your story, it is your story after all, and I'll probably keep reading; but it is probably the only issue I have with the story, and I know it is a personal issue, i.e. that is not my particular fetish. However you asked for feedback so I guess I'm going to give it. As for which branch I enjoyed the most, probably Mary's, even if it is just one chapter at this point. I did think it would be nice for Destiny to be more explicitly bi, or even so far in denial but things keep pointing that way (maybe she took part in military action on the isle of lesbos). Finally the mom should defiantly not stick a flare up herself; that is highly dangerous and could leave her very injured, but most likely dead (burning to death, not exploding). And even if she is fine in appearance, she may have absorbed some of the Perchlorate salts used in commercial flares which even in small quantities can cause iodine to be unable to be processed by the thyroid. Now once would not cause this issue, she should be fine, but it sounds like she is planning on doing it multiple times, a very, very, bad idea.
I didn't even realize I got Story of The Week until now. Holy shit! Honestly, I made the map in MS Paint, and wanted to do more with it. Probably will in the future. As a bit of a spoiler, I have various maps of the outside world made, along with photos. I have a couple of pages worth of reference documents I've written for locations, characters, interactions, creatures, anomalies, and that sort of thing written up as well, it really helps to have a folder with character names, variables, that sort of thing for when I'm writing, especially if I'm jumping between stories or go a while without writing. While I have gotten some negative responses in the past for using pictures and illustrations, for the most part they've been enjoyed, and for me it's a good way to solidify what a character or location looks like if I'm really going for something solid versus leaving it up to the reader to imagine. Criticism is good, and far too long I'll go without getting any comments at all, and I start to worry if I've made some glaring mistake and haven't noticed, so it's always welcome. With the cousin's surprise, I really bounced the idea around in my head for a long while, and finally just with went one of my kinks. Honestly, her dick size is something I knew would be a coin toss if people enjoyed or not. I am definitely going to branch her story off first when I get to that point, I have a lot of "surprises" in mind, something I think you'll like a lot. I really tried to give each character so far a different kink, and have been having the MC visit and mess around with all of them, so if someone is after one particular character, they can kind of skim ahead if they want. Eventually, I'd love to have entire branches dedicated to just one character as a love interest with the others kind of falling to the background in those branches, maybe even a non-incest path, too, in the future. I did want the older sister's experience in the military to play a part of her sexuality. As for the female branches, those will come later, but I've already gotten a lot of their sex scenes and such written as rough drafts. Getting them to that point is what I really struggle with, as making family members fuck each other isn't really something I'd consider "realistic" outside of extreme cases, so writing it convincingly is pretty hard, although I think it's working out so far. Mary's branch is something I really look forward to writing, though. Oh, I absolutely know. It's the only dildo-shaped thing I could think of at the time, but I am thinking about editing it to be a glow stick or something like that. I wanted to point out that the mom might not be the most street-smart person, and is really desperate for some sexual relief. Trust me, the entire time I was writing that, all I could think of is some kind of terrible accident lol. As another little spoiler and a hint for the future: I'm kind of getting at the apocalyptic event having more influence on the family than just isolating them together. All the sexual feelings, irrational decisions, stuff like that will have an in-universe explanation eventually that I think will smooth over a lot of the strange actions the characters have taken so far. I'm taking a lot of inspiration from Roadside Picnic, STALKER, and the Metro series, and if you know anything about those, you'll kind of get where I'm headed. Thank you so much for the lengthy reply and the helpful criticism! Also, thanks for pointing out I made Story of The Week lol. I didn't even get a notification for that, and I haven't been on the front page much these past few days.
Wow, it is honestly a good MS paint drawing. Well, I guess some people can see them as a bit of a crutch, you still do need to describe the place after all, but it does help visualize a setting. A picture is worth a thousand words, after all. However, I would agree that they would be wrong if they are REAL photos of REAL people, outside of a fanfiction, it just feels gross. Yeah don't know why it bothers me so much, but you know; you like what you like. I do think you should write what you want to write; I mean I take polls of people's opinions, but I don't let that dictate what I write too much. But it sounds like that's what you plan to do, so great. Excellent That is not street-smart, that's just dumb. Oh I kind of figured that's where you were going when the sun was blue, and when Jane came back rambling nonsense.
