Hey guys, just dropped by to make a thread for a new-ish story since I guess that is the done thing? Kind of a new author, somewhat. (More on that below) Story can be found here please forgive the first few chapters, I wrote them a long time ago. About the Story Beaten, Broken and Enslaved is a story set in a fantasy world wherein we follows the adventures of three characters. The first, a princess captured during war by an enemy who has conquered her land. The second, a maid and servant of that princess, and the third is the lord himself, the leader of that enemy faction. In spite of the fact that the POV character is the Lord himself, we have shifting interludes which give the story from the other characters' point of view. Characters are fleshed out and hopefully at least somewhat likable. Story themes include domination, humiliation, embarrassment, forced nudity, that sort of thing. Very much on the ''This shit would be kind of fucked up in real life'' side of the scale. However, it is a fantasy, and treats it as such. While it does have moments of a serious nature, mostly I am trying to write a fun, enjoyable story that can be taken as a simple erotic fiction or read as an actual experience. The game is going to be primarily for Game Mode, and as such, will include branching paths, variables, and hidden options. The character's personalities will develop according to the player's actions, and ultimately they will be able to make friends and enemies. Somewhat uniquely, the point of view character is the bad guy, and you get the chance to see things from the POV of the princess and the maid. This allows for a less biased approach to the work, and means that when it comes time to make choices, you will (Hopefully) feel some sympathy for the princess, and want her to do well. Based on variables, choices and the player's actions, the princess can escape, return to her people, be broken and enslaved, or rise to become a powerful figure in the new empire of the lord herself. The story is currently in the early stages, but I am a somewhat experienced author, so I have a fairly good idea of where I am going here, and what I want to do. The problem is, the first few chapters are a bit of a mess. They were written many years ago, when I was not as good as I am now, and honestly, it shows. Before the story is finished, I am going to go back and edit them, but for now, I am leaving them as is. They're not great, but they are serviceable, and if I start to edit now, I'll end up going over everything. The story is intended for Game Mode, as I said, but it is not yet ready for that. I am making this thread to (hopefully) drum up some interest, get some other people to take a look at it and tell me what they think. As you can probably tell, this story is something that I have a pretty good grasp of, and I know what I want to do with him. But I am not going to just sit down and start shouting that it has to be that way. I want a story that people can enjoy both as erotica, and as its own fiction. I want people to care a little about the characters. Maybe that's overreaching in this sort of story? I don't know. Anyway, that's my post. If you're interested, by all means check out the story and give me your thoughts. Believe me, they'd be appreciated.
If anyone has any suggested routes, I would be interested in hearing them. I have a core for the story already in mind, but I am fully willing to listen to anyone who thinks that they might have a good idea. No pressure, though. I am perfectly happy on my own, as I have a fair amount planned out already.
Maybe Susan if she escape, she will meet sister of her captor? Of course both will be naked and in bug trouble, but they could work tougether, former enemies to not-friend but alience.
I like it so far. Non-con and BDSM always go pretty well with each other and are kinda my thing. Too bad it's hard to find a good story with BOTH of them implemented in a competent fashion (porn videos included lol). TBH, i'm kinda invested in the idea Susan eventually falling into Stockholm syndrome love for her captor... but have her suffer first, then soften the protagonist's heart just a bit, then the two actually fall in love, etc. I still want my non-con fill first though!
