Super personal time: does anyone know you write erotica?

Discussion in 'Authors' Hangout' started by wilparu, Feb 20, 2020.

?

Who in your life, if anyone, knows you write erotica?

  1. Absolutely no one, and it's going to stay that way

    11 vote(s)
    33.3%
  2. My partner/significant other, because eventually they realize you're not writing a novel

    7 vote(s)
    21.2%
  3. A close friend or two

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  4. One or two people, but NOT my family or partner/SO

    4 vote(s)
    12.1%
  5. Several people

    4 vote(s)
    12.1%
  6. Friends, family, coworkers... I'll tell the mailman about the Likes my latest chapter got

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. How dare you even ask me this? Are you a cop? You know you have to tell me if you're a cop right?

    2 vote(s)
    6.1%
  1. wilparu

    wilparu Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    And a bonus question: if anyone who knows you personally is aware of your writing, do you let them read it? Or if it's more fetishy, do they know that?

    I ask mainly because, ultimately, I was convinced to tell my wife what I was writing for hours every week. She wasn't shocked, and thank god she has no interest in reading it, but she seemed pleased that other people seem to like it. Really happy I told her, if only because letting her think I was writing some shitty fantasy novel for months was getting even more embarrassing than the truth. Also, now I don't have to wonder how I'm going to hide spending a few hundred dollars on some art for my story. ;)

    She read a few chapters of my current story that conveniently has no sex in it and I let her assume all my work is that vanilla. I mean, there's honesty and then there's "I write a lot of incest romance" level honesty. Gotta know where to draw the line.

    Also she read a chapter and within 5 seconds found and excitedly pointed out a typo. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2020
  2. Ben Rosewood

    Ben Rosewood Really Experienced

    Nobody knows, but the clues are there...
     
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  3. insertnamehere

    insertnamehere Really Really Experienced

    Hahahahahahaha no. As long as nobody matches my writing style, I think I'm fine.
     
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  4. Thorn_

    Thorn_ CHYOA Guru

    Not my direct family or friends, but all my online friends(Some who know my real name) know that I write these things as well as the fact, I simply state it out loud to my online followers for non lewd stories when they ask how I got into writing. The answer is sex. That’s all. It grew from there.

    I’ve had a few other authors say I shouldn’t tell people this, but...I don’t think so. If everyone already knows, it’s not a secret if I ever make it as a big time writer. It’s not a scandal, when everyone either, already knows or just doesn’t care.

    Besides, like I said before. Even if I didn’t tell people, anyone who recognizes me from chyoa? They aren’t ever going to admit to it. They’ll know my name, but definitely won’t bring themselves to share exactly why they know.
     
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  5. wilparu

    wilparu Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    When I told my wife what I was really writing one of the first things she said was that Lawrence Block , one of her fav writers, cranked out a ton of lesbian smut when he was young to pay the bills and get experience.
     
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  6. ThreeNipps

    ThreeNipps Experienced

    If my stuff wasn't so taboo, I'd be open to telling people I'm extremely close with and know wouldn't react with horror. One of the things that I find myself fantasizing about often these days is having a girlfriend that's completely open minded and I trust completely. I'd be able to bounce ideas off of her and maybe even encourage her to write some herself. The idea of this totally hypothetical girlfriend also doing some modeling for a story is particularly thrilling. Hmm... sounds like a new story idea... :eek: step 1: find amazing girlfriend... should be easy enough

    Here's a funny little anecdote:
    I have a work friend, an older woman, who I've gotten fairly close with. We were making casual conversation one late afternoon and she says something like, "I can't wait to go home, curl up in my chair, and read my book." Naturally, I ask her what she's reading. She gets kind of skittish but after I press her a little bit, she admits that it's a smutty romance novel. She asks if I ever read anything like that and I almost died inside lol. Sometimes I think about making a second account, be it here or somewhere else, and using it to post my tamer and more socially acceptable fantasies. I could see myself sharing something like that with my work friend.
     
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  7. ThreeNipps

    ThreeNipps Experienced

    You could totally pull off a romance novel btw
     
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  8. wilparu

    wilparu Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    I am now incredibly invested in you creating a side account somewhere and sharing some of your work with your coworker. That would be so fucking adorable! Please consider it! Ask her what kind of story she likes, then say you need a beta reader.

    Understand 100% about the nature of the genre you write in being a factor. I think my stories are fairly gentle in a lot of ways, I love writing about emotion and people coming together in respectful, thoughtful ways. I write some pretty raunchy sex scenes but I try to have a lot of (I feel silly saying it) heart in the sex too. *BUT* the fact a lot of it is incestual is obviously a non-starter for a lot of people. Even though it's clearly fantastical, like no one in my life would think I was secretly lusting after any actual family members I have, the taboo of the fetish itself is too much to share with people who actually know me. Pity, I think some of it is kind of not-terrible?

    And ThreeNipps, your main story is an epic of love and character building and really hot sex - a truly phenomenal tale in every way - and it's a shame you can't tell your coworker about it, but I'm not going to pretend you can. Bummer.


    Aww thanks, and frankly you could too. With the main branch of 'Living In Your Sister's Shadow' I'd argue you already have... although publishers may balk at the 'sister' part. ;)
    I've been thinking I want to try to write something... else some day. I've been writing here a half a year now and I've loved it, but I wonder if I could really write a 'proper' short story. I don't have delusions of grandeur or being published, but I wonder if I could write a story that was worth reading, even by myself. I have never read a romance novel in my life though, but I'm sure it's a huge market with all sorts of subgenres right? If there is romance for people who love overly emotional relationships or workplace humour I'd give it a shot. ;)
     
  9. Yabusa

    Yabusa Experienced

    This is actually one of the reasons I started writing on this site, because I made a decision recently that if I were to date or marry in the near term, it needs to be with someone who at least understands my weirder kinks, even if they're not into them.

    Ideally, they would be totally on board and share the enjoyment, and then it stays between us or even is somehow incorporated into the more private aspects of the relationship. But, I'd be happy enough if they were aware and it didn't bother them, because I don't let it interfere with my public life.

    So my latest story ends up covering all the bases in the different branches, kind of like a kinky CV. I figure any future dating would have my story out in the open first, probably even before any dates happen, rather than when it inevitably comes up later by accident.
     
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  10. Spoox

    Spoox Guest

    It was my wife who got me into it... I have a hot
    wife
     
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  11. Loeman

    Loeman Really Really Experienced

    My wife and my close friends have access to my writings.

    Some relatives know I have the hobby, but don't know where I write or what I write specifically.

    ... What I write specifically is taboo as hell.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2020
  12. wilparu

    wilparu Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    :D I wanna know who voted for the ‘cop’ option. I bet I know one....

    really interesting to see the votes so close for the first options. I’d have thought “no one” would be way in front but that’s likely my own inclinations due to the taboo nature of my stories. And the sorts of people who use these forums to discuss their writing may be more inclined to discuss it with others as well.
     
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  13. bastian

    bastian Virgin

    I write erotica for myself so there is no need for anyone else to know I do it.
     
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  14. Nejifan7272

    Nejifan7272 Virgin

    I told my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) but my stories go along with her kinks and we’re still on good terms, so she even messages me every now and then and asks when I’ll post another chapter.
     
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  15. catfish27

    catfish27 Really Experienced

    In my group of real-life friends is a woman who writes romance novels with some erotic content under a pseudonym and sells them on Amazon. She talks about it in very generic terms (mostly about the money she makes off it), and we have no idea what her pseudonym is.

    Because she will talk about it, it takes a lot of "heat" off of me, and I've never felt the need to chime in and admit to writing overtly erotic, fetishistic content on interactive story sites. (My friends actually are aware of some of my fetishes, but not to the extent I've played around with them in story chapters.)
     
  16. Warden-Yarn15

    Warden-Yarn15 Really Really Experienced

    Nobody even bothers or cares to read my short stories unless I force them to.
     
  17. Oldor

    Oldor Virgin

    I wish. I could rlly appreciate some feedback. A friend is in my phone as Editor because they always help with my poetry...I think they'd be accepting of my other hobby but don't think they'd want to help. Or even read it. TBH they'd probly prefer that I didn't tell them.

    I don't even tell people in a discord poetry server. I let it slip one time on another server that the term for someone who cuckolds someone is "bull" in fetish-jargon....(how this came up is a long story) and it led to an extremely awkward evasion (by me). Another time I spoiler tagged the word erotica (I forget the context) and everyone proceeded to deride it as a hobby that only a few closet perverts partake of.

    I'd love to discuss erotica and get feedback, especially from my friend, but the gender gap + "appropriateness" means I'll likely never tell anyone.
     
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  18. SeriousBrainDamage

    SeriousBrainDamage Really Really Experienced

    I would never tell it to my partner.
    I could think of generically telling that I write erotica, not revealing my psuedonim or asking for an opionion on what I write.
    I don't share my porn folder either tough...

    In my experience, most people tend to jump to the conclusion that you'd like to replicate what you write in real life.
    That is especially true if you point your gf to the screen of your computer and make her read your stuff:rolleyes:
     
  19. MidbossMan

    MidbossMan Really Really Experienced

    My brother knows and we collaborate on a lot of stories, but just him. :oops:

    I also try to share them with my online buddies from non-erotica forum roleplay, but there isn't a lot if interest... It's tough to get people to read stuff without begging. Still, I drop little details all the time hoping somebody will take an interest. :rolleyes:
     
  20. brevdravis

    brevdravis Really Really Experienced

    I plead the fifth amendment on the grounds that anything I write can and these days probably will be used against me in a court of law.