Hi guys, I must confess that I started this dreadful thing https://chyoa.com/story/Whore-of-the-Dragon.26007 just as a way to practice my English and because there was a lack of stories that interested me at the time. I never thought people would react so positively to it, but now i'm kind of addicted to writing this over-the-top smut, so I kindly ask for your feedback. I plan for the story to have multiple and diverging paths: The main one right now is a dominating futa path that I have great plans for, but I also work from time to time in a lesbian path that centres heavily on providing backstory for the mc and a shota path that was just too much fun to leave it unwritten. I would like to hear your opinions and suggestions, even de harsh ones, and I would really really love if someone else's wanted to write his/her own path and have his own take on the setting. Right now, the wonderful Myst (https://chyoa.com/user/Myst) is writting his/her own take on the shota storyline setting and it has been a really fun experience. So yeah, anything you would like to say or ask I'm here. I may specialise in writing sadistic assholes but I'm pretty chill to talk too... I think. I also know that my use of English is not perfect and I'm kind of embarrassed about it, as I'm sort of a grammar nazi in my own language. ----------------------------------- Update: Well, this story has grown a lot since I wrote this, even if I'm currently taking a little break from it. I would like to thank everyone for being with me through this Journey. Also, the wonderful DenomZero has started their own branch, and it's really promising https://chyoa.com/chapter/A-very-annoying-interruption-(DenomZero's-Branch).854132.
Yay! I'm a fan of this story. It's very imaginative and a lot of fun to read. Right now my favorite's probably the Shota Path (Both branches) because I'm a sucker for an older woman dominating a younger male as you can see if you check any of my stories, but the others are just as good. Lunnara is a great character. It's tough to make an evil protagonist realistic sometimes, but you succeed very well! I can understand where she's coming from even when she's being a villain! If you want some feedback, I'd say your writing is usually very good, but there are a few spelling and grammar errors here and there. Nothing major, and I'm sure I'd be far worse if I was writing this much in my second language! Looking forward to more of whatever you can come up with!
Heh... first thought when reading the opening was "The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly"... in that it felt like a European product. For some reason, imagining this as a dub actually made me enjoy it a LOT more. Thinking of it as a cool movie from Spain, with a local translator and a low budget US distributor... and it's great! Very early 80's feel, kinda like old Heavy Metal magazine and that's a hard one to nail, so kudos there. So... I'm not as much of a fan of the non-con stories as I used to be. You've absolutely got the build up and the wide variety of fetishes to go with them. Overall, not quite to my taste, but it's clear that you're having a lot of fun with this, so you're doing it RIGHT. Good descriptions, and I absolutely feel the "Stakes" for the characters, so well don there. And don't worry too much about your grammar in English. Once I adjusted my thinking, worked well for me as a reader. Thanks for putting it out there, great work, and some music because I do that.
Hey, thank you both for writing. Juggernorth I did 'checked' your captive prince history. So far I have read the big sister route and it was quite good, the little boy +yanderish big sister is always a good combo. I would love to see her get overly jealous if Marcus even gets to look at one of the maids... I'll give you some proper feedback once I read more branches, that's a promise. About Lunnara, I think that the secret to writing evil characters is no not fall for the trap of 'protagonist must always be relatable', you need to understand them just enough so that their actions make sense but that's it. Being fun and and interesting should always have a higher priority. If you try making them too relatable then you either end up censoring them and not letting them breathe or, even worse, you end up justifying their evilness, and that's a hole you don't want to sink in. But yeah, she is the one that keeps me coming to write more, I have a lot of fun with her. And Brevdavis, I had a lot of fun too reading your comment. I'm a big fan of Sergio Leone's Dollars Trilogy and 'El bueno, el feo y el malo' (that's the Spanish's version name) is my favourite of them, so I feel quite honoured by that relation. You really hit the mark with that Heavy Metal reference. I grew up reading warhammer novels and even worse things, and they are still a guilty pleasure of mine. I happen to like more refined things nowadays but over the top and weird fantasy is still close to my heart. I also read a while ago your Special Hell, story, I think it was half a year ago. I remembered enjoying it a lot, the characters were realistic and relatable and I found myself quite immersed in the situation. I never continued reading the new stuff you wrote, so I'll try to amend that.
More than welcome, and NO pressure whatsoever to read... I KNOW how long winded I am. (Mostly just added a lot of endings) I grew up in the 80's so, Heavy Metal was a guilty pleasure that you could usually only find in College Bookstores. Personally grew up with Battletech, so... there might be a story there for me some day... watch this space. Again, keep up the great work, and if you ever want more feedback, feel free to ask. Can't guarantee I'll always be available, but I guarantee to always be honest.
Well, a lot of time has passed since I wrote this and I would like to shamelessly bring this back to the top of current topics. This story has grown a lot since then, and I would like to also mention DenomZero's most recent collaboration in it, which has been a delightful pleasure. I'm currently taking a break from this specific story as I focus on my new one, but I do intend to going back to it when it feels fresh again. In the meantime, I would love to hear any of your suggestions or desires about it.
