I'm not sure how many here can relate, but I always feel like I'm writing stories that I would like to read but can never actually really enjoy because I'm the author and so instead of being able to experience each chapter, I just remember how much I agonized over writing it. The closest I can get to a reader experience on my own stuff is going back and looking at my older stories but then I just remember how bad at writing I was back then lol. Is this just me? Maybe, I just need to get really drunk when I write...
I experience this. When I've analysed the same piece ten times over, I don't want to look at it again for at least another month. And when that time has passed, all I can think about is the edits I should make. Also, it can be rather disillusioning to look back on writing you were very pleased with at the time, only to notice several potential adjustments. This is especially true of the CHYOA format where you're publishing a chapter or so at a time, instead of the entire story at once - slight differences in writing style and characters become more noticeable. And yes, I've tried writing under the influence (WUI?). It does not work.
Funnily, I've only been here since February but I already have that "geez, what was I thinking" feeling when I read my very oldest stuff. I kind of changed tonally from the very first month I wrote here. Now, if you mean "enjoy," then I sort of have to default to no, because I can rarely use any writing that way. I usually go for videos instead. But if you just mean enjoy, I do very much like to reread my old stories for pleasure. Yeah, I do remember how agonizing it occassionally was to get all of that down, but seeing a nice and tidy arc I sort of closed up in the past or a route update to a game reminds me "yes, you can finish an arc!" Especially when I'm looking at that big blank processor with just one paragraph on it, I find it motivational to reread old stuff.
For me, it's usually nice to read old stuff as it kinda feels like it's tailor-made. (At the same time I wonder how I could miss certain typos and see points that could be improved.)
I don't reread what i wrote because i kind of...hate it... So to stop myself from flinging myself off of the precipice of crippling anxiety and depression, I just don't...
As someone who's definitely on the not really side of that poll, I don't have that problem at all. In fact I really like going back over what I've published before on this site because I only write what I enjoy, both in just a fun way and also it does turn me on. There aren't that many stories here tailored to my particular tastes, that's why I decided to write in the first place! On rereading the first couple of times, I do often do a few minor edits and see some silly mistakes, but that just doesn't bother me the same way people in this thread describe. I mean I do publish a lot of chapters here, so by the time I've gone through a week of updating all the different threads the ones I wrote last week aren't as fresh in my mind so I can enjoy them all over again. That's part of the fun of writing for me. Now, when I go back to stuff I wrote a while ago elsewhere I can see a lot more errors and ways it could be improved compared to how I write now, and sometimes I cringe a little and wonder what I was doing, but I can still read through my old work and mostly enjoy it just as a story.
I'm my biggest fan. And like any fandom, obsessive, contradictory, toxic, weirdly forgiving and spending way too much time on it. (tbh I'm not very critical of my own work in any way that's down on myself so it's a pretty healthy fandom imo.)
Oh, I hate it too when I go back and find a blatant typo! I'm like 'how dafuq did I miss this...' lol
I don't usually cringe after rereading my chapters though my introductory for "Don't Get Raped" feels little bit cringe. Though the opposite happened after I wrote my "You (female) at a Bar" introductory chapter. I reread my "You (male) at a Party" chapter introduction and was amazed at my writing (hopefully not to the point of narcissism though). I actually had a little bit of nostalgia when I reread it reading phrases like "she spilled her tea a little" and "keeping my eyes level with hers"can really illustrate a scene pretty well. The "You (female) at a Bar" chapter felt a little more plain. What might be happening here is that when someone writes a chapter, they intend it to be read a certain way with certain emotions, but they then forget what those were when they reread it much later misinterpreting a different way to read it with different emotions. Or maybe their writing style improved a lot, and they're just cringe at how bad it was back then.
I intentionally write very stream-of-consciousness here, very little editing or corrections or cleanup compared to writing that I do for other purposes. That also means it doesn't stick in my head for long, so going back to reread chapters is pretty easy for me to enjoy after a while. I also rarely correct errors or clunky writing after the fact, either. I leave those in as a reminder that I should be more careful on the first pass. So, my chapters serve the dual purpose of writing exercises and a story premise with twists I personally enjoy (which I'm glad others seem to enjoy as well!)
