What is your "deleted scene" in your story?

For example share a character, chapter, scene or whatever it is you originally intended to add into your story but ultimately you decided to remove for reasons.

I will start:

The story of Monster Girls Chronicles was originally very linear, and was focused on one central character. It was meant to follow a Monster Hunter named Leone and his harem-like adventure doing odd jobs and fucking Monster Girls along the way. The story would later be changed to be a collection of stories focusing on separate Monster Girls' adventures instead and would be retitled as Monster Girls and then later into the present day title of Monster Girls Chronicles.

The original story was never cut however, as it remains to be the first optional story in Monster Girls Chronicles under Leone's name. So not a deleted story, more like a deleted story concept.

Your turn

 

There were a lot of ideas for Lois Lane's Night Out, some of which were abandoned and a couple of which just haven't played out yet.

Originally, the Lex Luthor storyline was going to focus primarily on different Kryptonite-powered transformations - and this is still the case for many of the branches - but because I didn't want to run afoul of the bestiality rules, I ultimately dropped the idea of Lois Lane turning into an actual ape. Likewise, when the Xenomorphs show up in one branch, they're not actual aliens, but robotic duplicates. Ultimately, a lot of the potential transformations from the Kryptonite haven't been used because those branches just haven't proved as popular.

Likewise, branches that pair Lois Lane with traditional love-interests like Superman or Batman just...haven't pushed the right buttons with people, so most of those storylines are unfinished for now.

Many of the Blaze branches were going to be much closer together, narratively speaking, more like a traditional choose-your-own-adventure book. But after a couple hundred chapters things started to diverge and I found it was more interesting to me as a writer to have each branch be relatively independent of all the others. Sometimes this leads to some messy and/or lazy storytelling, and if I had planned it out better I could probably have done a much tighter story and maybe be done by now. But maybe next time.

 

I've had at least four scenes in various stories planned that involved multiple sex partners (threesomes etc). They were all abandoned when I just couldn't keep track of locations, actions, and turned into nightmares to write. I've mostly settled for being light on description when I do try and default to finding various ways to handle stuff in pairs if at all possible

 

@Kineticat I posted some advice about that in an older thread, and having written quite a few, I agree it's a bit of a pain. I think it really helps to have a strong idea of the set-up you want, in terms of positions and actions, but the more people you have the harder it is to handle. Like watching group sex on porn, you can really only show one "camera angle" at a time, the transitions between them tend to take away from the pacing - but there can be some great imagery too, which I think might be worth it in some cases.

 

Well, in ASH, there was the deleted scene where I deliberately set it up for incest in the mother/son direction. Then I realized I really DIDN'T want to write a scene putting the main character under his parents authority, to make it work properly. Still could work the original scene it, but would take a LOT of reconfiguring.

And I had this goofy "Return of the Jedi" joke planned out that I was working on, but... just wasn't working so I dropped it. May come back to it, but right now inspiration is lacking.

 

In By All Means there is a scene that I published then later replaced. Not many readers got to see it.

There is a path where the main character gets his boss pass out drunk and has the option to take advantage of her.

I was really struggling with the decision of how far to take the non-con activities. The chapter needed to be darker and edgier than anything in the story up to that point.

My first solution was to only describe the first act, then, in an optional chapter on the following day, the character wanks while he fantasizes about her, revealing that there was a second act that went a lot further.

While it was an effective surprise, it was a bad solution, especially since some readers wouldn’t have selected the optional chapter with the reveal, giving them a different understanding of what had transpired. It didn’t feel fair of me to misrepresent what the main character had done in the case of something this extreme.

Also, the level of non-con was outside of my comfort zone and I kept feeling bad about it, so I removed the reveal entirely.

 

ohohoho that is a fun one.

So i had a path split in which the MC had to choose between punishing or not punishing her slave.

Not punishing would led to a bad end in which the slave got killed.

So i was writing the "punish" path, getting really into it, and shit just got more and more depressing and dark. Eventually i just had to realize that this wouldn't work out.

So i backpedaled and turned "the bad end" into the path forward, where the MC just managed to safe her slave in the nick of time.

Its a bit mary sueish, but whatever, everyone is happy except one guy who got his hand cut off. Fuck him tough, bloody bastard ruined my cute and wholesome slave story.

 

I'm trying not to count all of the branch questions I've left hanging as "deleted scenes" and instead stuff I will get back to at some point!

I had a scene in princecai's Fairer Sex that was going to launch into some raunchy sex stuff and I ended up 180ing on for a romantic twist by popular demand. That worked out pretty well! I don't usually regret whatever I leave on the cutting room floor.

I also remember that in my Helltaker fiction, I had a couple alternate branches for different cosplay Malina might wear that I trashed in favor of the one I wrote out and liked.

A pretty big one is in Kami Kurabe, there's a whole branch written out where Keiko wrestles Georgina using your power and body stats-- but only if you have really high stats. I left all of it I wrote in unpublished drafts because I ran out of steam. I think that one sticks out like a sore thumb, because the way it goes instead, you barely wrestle at all, despite that being the setup. Kind of a "whoops" on that one.

 

There are two deleted scenes in The Lord's Companion. One of them was never published, while the other no longer exists.

The first was a draft for the prologue. Although I like the introduction from chapter 1 onward, I realise it's a little slow paced for readers, so I wanted to open with an erotic prologue. Although I wrote out my first idea, I later decided it was bad - irrelevant to the story, slightly nonsensical, somewhat removed from the general tone, and it made the actual introduction less interesting by essentially spoiling it. To be fair, the current prologue isn't that great either, but at least it serves a few purposes.

The second was around chapter 34. The story was originally going to lead into the party stumbling on an old magic-user's tomb. After getting a couple of chapters deep into it, I changed my mind, as I felt there was too much magic happening in the story. Instead, every reference to magic until chapter 109 can be traced back to Nemuni's introduction, that is, the idea of magic would never have been brought up until 109 had the characters not met her. Although magic becomes increasingly important to the story as it progresses, the setting isn't actually filled with magic, and I didn't want to give the wrong first impression.

 

So... My writing is usually quite a bit darker, outside of CHYOA I've written some very gory and snuff filled stuff, but obviously that wouldn't fly here so a lot of potential death scenes that would have been more gory or fucked to death style stuff has been removed in Dustbin Stories. Most notably an original version of Alex (Male and Female) being raped by Grope involved having their head crushed after Grope climaxed which I had to edit after it initially caused the story to be rejected. There's a few other potential scenes I was going to write and then realized they might stray too close or past the line.

Specifically there was potentially going to be a scene in the most recent path I was working on for Emily that was going to be a bad end where she gets raped while also being drowned in her kitchen sink that I cut it was going to be a choice based result for the "Get a weapon" branch

 

I had a prologue chapter for one of my main stories that involved a peek into the thoughts of a character while she was underage. There was no sexual content in the chapter, other than the character thinking to herself about a leather collar she found when she was in high school, but I decided it wasn't worth publishing. CHYOA has a strict rule about that stuff for a very good reason, so why tempt fate? If I posted it and it was rejected that'd make me more unhappy than just putting the draft away.

 

I was lying awake at 02:00 in the morning and plotted out a whole scene where the MC has entered a bar and one of the options is she speaks to the barman. Apropos of nothing (except I found it funny) the barman is Christopher Walken (well someone magically changed into Walken) The whole scene was just a very very random and contrived way of having him give advice to the MC and then shout "The ICE IS GONNA BREAK" to an assistant shifting a big block of carving ice (it's from the Dead Zone, look it up).

As bizarre as it sounds the story, Shoubu University, is in a wierd setting so it would technically have been possible.

I even got up and actually typed up some notes for it. The next morning I realised I should just concentrate on finishing the porn scene.

Maybe I'll put it in for a laugh.

 

I have too many to mention of scenes that didn't make the cut because I found a premise hot, then it didn't fit the characters or pacing or something.

However, I have one deleted scene that's a doozy. I originally intended the main happy ending path in The Bimbug to be where you make all the right decisions after making one mistake. Then I wrote a particularly nasty bad end where you go to a party and do horrible things that threaten to ruin six innocent lives.

Instead of writing an even nastier epilogue I thought, what if I gave the character a chance to come back from this and make amends? It ended up becoming my longest and most ambitious branch to date, and changing how I think of good and bad ends entirely. So yay for deleted scenes. Some didn't make the cut for a good reason.

 

When writing A Party Gone Wrong I usually plan like two or three chapters in advance, then start writing the first chapter and then it goes somewhere else that makes the following chapter choices no longer make sense, so I delete chapters like... Every time I sit down to write.

Notably planned out a spanking scene that never got used because I decided people would behave differently, but I think I can fit that in some other way...

 

I have written chapters so good... only to realize they actually broke my own writing rules XD. And then... I press delete.

Edit: not literally, but there have been chapters I’ve written and realized they might be pushing it too far, and rewrote it changing the initial idea completely. sometimes I will leave pieces though. Like if a character expresses an awfully specific idea or question or something, it might be because they actually thought about it as in the idea was written, but them changed their mind after seeing the outcome.

 

I had a plan for one of my prostitute paths in my story.

It was the part 2 of a strip tease scene in a speakeasy/strip club thing.

I was maybe 80% done with the chapter when my browser crashed, and the whole thing was lost.

Abandoned the path completely after that.

 

I have one deleted scene in my incest branch of Ultimate Dating APP. Since I started writing the branch, my intention was for the MC to capture his sister, but initially, I have no idea how to make the MC do that. So I have the intention to use a lame Deux Ex Machina and make the APP give the MC the option to auto-capture his sister, like a porn version of a Master Ball, without requiring her to voluntarily match with him, unlike any other girl from the story in the branch of the only other author active in the story.

I was reading Donny P branch when I realize my original idea was lame, and just as he does not recur to Deux Ex Machina, I could do the same. Other stories where everything happens exactly as the MC wants are fun, but having drama is fun too. In the end, I make chapters about the pet girl of the branch being the key to capture the sister, and even having 2 fun chapters from the point of view of that over enthusiast pet girl for the sister's capture.

And also, I introduce that deleted lame option as a joke. In the first chapters for the capture, the MC gave some emphasis on how he has no idea how to capture her, and he is always expecting the APP to pity him and give him some equivalent of a Pokemon Master Ball, but the APP only give him a small few days window of protection against other men with the APP (which is in practice irrelevant given that in my branch there are no other men with the APP or at least is ambiguous but the MC will never know if they exist)

 

I wrote a one off chapter for Asian Persuasion that I never published that involved two of the characters Lawan and Dawn on a mini solo adventure basically. I was suffered pretty bad writers block/lack of motivation and just needed something different to get me flowing again. It came to about 3500 words so a nice length. Was a fun little story but probably not "cannon" anymore since events would have happened past when this would of happened.

 

Over time I go through phases where I write a lot for my story, Slut Camp, but eventually get busy or run out of gas. Returning to open paths can be really tough after taking a long break so I tend focus on the scenes that let me write what I feel like writing in the moment. As a result, I have a bunch of scenes that are about to pop off that I may or may not ever get to. (Including the entire female POV side of the story, which people really liked but I lost confidence in).

 

Had a small prompt once. Late Night Daddy-Daughter Adventure (no that was not the title, but the concept) where daddy wore a mask and broke into his own house, proceeding into the room of the daughter, and raping her there.

It was not a "oh yes fuck me daddy" kind of scenario, I was going for a much more realistic approach. At the time, I was more or less disgusted with a lot of writers' casualness in rape and so I wrote mine in protest. A few months later, I had Friedman take it down from the public eye, as the disgust that I had for the previously mentioned writers, was suddenly present in my own.

Call me a hypocrite if you like, something's not right in my head.