Have you just lost your job? Were you unlawfully beaten by the cops? Did you just hear that you will not receive any money because the insurance does no cover the damage of 'hero dropping a villain on the car'? Was your daughter seduced into becoming a sidekick? Has your wife just sold your house and escaped with pool cleaner to exotic countries? Or maybe you are just a shy and lonely person and are looking for friends? Worry not, for EVA is here to help you! Welcome to EVA - Evil Villains Association! We stand in the advancement of Evil, Corruption and Chaos! Here, we are going to help you to get on your feet and get against the unfairness of the world. We will lease you your first secret base! (for a small interest of 400%) We will advise you on where to find your very own minions! Minions are wonderful! Everyone should have one or two to help them cheer up! The minions, will provide the firepower- that non but the strongest hero could go against! The minions, are skilled workforce, that will do everything for you – from guarding the base, going on missions and kidnapping that annoying landlord who continues to nag you about your rent! Pay your rent on time! But be careful! The heroes will look to infiltrate your base! They will wreck chaos around your base! But don't worry, your minions, are always alert! And once they find the intruder, they will wreck the annoying hero! But if normal means of dealing with problem fail, then you can use your expensive and skilled henchwoman, to take care of perky hero! Of course, failure is something unacceptable, and should be punished, so it doesn’t repeat! But don’t worry, if all fails, you can always deploy your very own genetically modified beast! What could possibly go wrong? But of course, we understand you can meet some setbacks, that will leave you deprived of your assets! Don’t worry, for we have great insurance plans, that will help you get on your feet! What are you waiting for? Call 384 578 539 spelt ‘evil rulez’! Sign up and join us now!
