Marcie and Gina read CHYOA

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Gambio, Jan 24, 2021.

  1. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Huh weird amount of grammar and spelling errors in this one? The review I mean... Like you managed to generally be pretty good about spelling things properly in Marcie and Gina up to this point... Did you write this one in a hurry or something?

    Anyway aside from that... Interesting review. I haven't read this story before, might have to check it out now, sounds like a mindfuck.
     
    Kineticat and Gambio like this.
  2. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    I wanted to go for a bit of a scatterbrained feel for this one, but I don't think I did a very good job of conveying that.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  3. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I did wonder if it was intentional or not.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  4. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

  5. DeviantChalice

    DeviantChalice Really Experienced

    My favourite thing is that I added new chapters while you were writing this, making it sound like Marcie and Gina are lying about me not adding chapters for a while.

    Oh and "Marcie neglected to mention that this was the annual rapist convention" made me laugh.
     
    mask and Kineticat like this.
  6. DeviantChalice

    DeviantChalice Really Experienced

    Absolutely perfect. Will have to do a reply chapter as Rosie and explain that her and Jane are going to get around to spending some quality time with "Gina", honest.

    Edit: did it as "Gina"
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2021
    Kineticat likes this.
  7. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    Yeah, I usually write the draft, the day I finished reading and then spend the week or so touching things up. I was cursing quite a bit when you suddenly started to add chapters lol. But i rather keep this types of disparities in. Marcie and Gina aren't really known for doing their due diligence after all.

    Also, holy cow this was the fastest answer chapter ever, You probably going to hold that reccord for a long time, so congratulations.
     
    Kineticat and DeviantChalice like this.
  8. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I am going to beat this!!! I am determined now! I will have a review of the review on the next thing of mine reviewed within seconds! I swear!

    Probably not actually though...
     
    Gambio, Kineticat and DeviantChalice like this.
  9. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Since I don't release them on a fixed time, this would be difficult to accomplish.

    But yeah Tower of Voices will be next, should hopefully be good.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  10. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I'm sure they will hate it and I will get a horrid verbal smackdown of my utter failures :D
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  11. Testytesterton

    Testytesterton Really Experienced

  12. DeviantChalice

    DeviantChalice Really Experienced

    I mean, the longest route is 16 chapters (not including the intro page of course) so that's better than my story lol

    Edit: also most of your choices go somewhere
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  13. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    Sure, no problem, as long as its over ten chapters, it qualifies
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  14. Testytesterton

    Testytesterton Really Experienced

    It's currently 17 chapters deep over three main branches and about 90 chapters total. Feel free to pick whichever branches grab you.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  15. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Kineticat and Zeebop like this.
  16. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Eeeh!!!! This makes me so happy :D I didn't even think about the fact that this would technically be the second of my stories they read and also 2/2 out of stories of mine they've read with no porn for them to enjoy (Although of course Dustbin had porn they just missed like all of it.)

    Also Engin XD I honestly cannot for the life of me remember where the name TheLeherengin came from. It's just been the name I've used when writing pornographic works pretty much ever since I first started doing so.
     
    Kineticat and Gambio like this.
  17. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    You got lucky i didn't go with the original plan to call you engine lol


    The story got a bit of the short end of the stick this time around as I really wanted to focus on the forum discussion instead, so I apologize. This is also a rare instance where I personally really like Yulia, but she is more of a meh character for both Marcie and Gina.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  18. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I mean I imagine there really isn't that much to say about the story itself anyway. It is indeed as stated mostly simply a reaction to the forum comments.

    I am glad you like Yulia. I do feel like characters are where most of my work shines. I really enjoy creating characters.
     
    Kineticat and AlexandraS90 like this.
  19. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Unfortunately, at this rate I don't know when (or if!) the path you originally picked on Lois Lane's Night Out might finish. If you get hard up for material, you could go back and pick one of the longer ones.
     
    Kineticat likes this.
  20. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    B-but how will I cope when I can't complain about them Dick-girls?

    Alright, if I clear the backlog before you finish that path, I'm gonna feature a new one.
     
    Kineticat, Zeebop and DeviantChalice like this.