"Moving to the Sexworld" Discussion

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by edwards21, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    I am in agreement.
     
  2. stonehammer69

    stonehammer69 Virgin

    Yea, there's nothing wrong with a chapter mainly of awesome sex and minimal plot, especially if it does lead into a solid branching point. Plus, if you post this now you can focus more on the next chapter rather than being bogged down by trying to beef this one up unnecessarily.
     
  3. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Well, it's posted. Hope I didn't rush through the proofreading. It feels too short to me, but that's just my own bullshit, I'm sure it's fine.

    It wouldn't have been unnecessary, I'm basically just splitting the one chapter I had planned into two smaller ones. Nothing really changes, other than minor things, I've had this all outlined out before I even started writing my very first chapter.
     
  4. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    I just realized that one of the threads copied from the BE Addventure wasn't "complete" and rectified this.
     
  5. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    I'm trying to pound out this next chapter, but man, it's going way slower than I'd like. I hope I'm not hitting burnout or something.
     
  6. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    I hope so as well; you're one of my favorite writers of sexy stuff.
     
  7. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    No, I think I'll be fine, I just needed to kvetch a bit. I'm about 2,500 words in. I'll get there.
     
  8. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    So this is a little odd, but I've got a question.

    I've been (very slowly) putting together what I would write as the next bit of the "Jo and Jonas" storyline. As I mentioned earlier, I had the idea that one of Lenny's wives if from Africa. However, i have always been irritated by the tendency of media to treat Africa as a single, monolithic entity, as if it were merely a country rather than a continent. Naturally, I didn't want to do the same, so I figured I'd nail down exactly where in Africa she's from.

    I'm currently juggling three possibilities:
    -Use a real country. This presents some difficulty, as I'd have to pick one, and probably have to do some research to make sure I'm doing it right-ish.
    -Make one up out of whole cloth. This is easiest, but is perhaps too easy; it feels like cheating somehow. It also means that I CAN'T throw in real historical or cultural references if the desire hits me.
    -As a compromise measure, and running with the idea that Sexworld is an alternate universe, use the name of a historical African state, implying that either it continues to exist in the modern day or that a modern state took that name; this gives me some versimilitude, but also gives me cover for it being different.

    I've been leaning toward the last of these. Specifically, calling her homeland Aksum (which ties me to a particular place, but gives me more to work with) or Ophir (which gives me more leeway, but requires more making stuff up; also may open up a bit of can of worms, given the explicit Bible reference).

    What do y'all think?
     
  9. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    I think I'd avoid Ophir, for the reasons you said.

    If it were me - and it's not, let's be clear here - I'd actually go for a real country. Madagascar, impressively, has been REALLY growing in scale lately, they're one of the fastest growing industrial nations in the world (which no one talks about since non-Arab Africa). You could also get some mileage out of northeastern Africa, like Eritrea or countries in that area. But honestly, I just find that kind of writing research fun. But then again, I'm fucking crazy.

    Unless you want to tell a war refugee or war criminal story, I'd stay out of Western Africa, that's a great way to send a story down a really depressing path.

    If you have to do something made up, of the ones you picked Aksum is probably your best bet.
     
  10. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    Gotcha.

    Hrrm, maybe. Not sure about Madagascar, though; IIRC, the majority of the population isn't actually "African" in the sense I'm going for, y'know?

    No, no, I don't think so.

    Thanks.
     
  11. mu70

    mu70 Virgin

    Hmm, Aksum was an ancient state on what is now Ethopian soil, wasn't it? If you want something old you could also look for the ancient kingdom of Mali, famous for its rich kings (gold en masse), more modern would be the Zulu nation. A nice strong name and many already have the immediate vision of a strong proud warrior.

    A really modern approach, and kinda boring I admit, would be Nigeria (oil) or Botswana (diamonds), both with rising economies. Kenya is famous for its telecommunication while West African nations tend to be still quite focused on farming and the whole coffee/cocoa trade.
     
  12. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    Hmm, all things to ponder. I have in mind a lady who is:
    -Crazy tall.
    -Has incredibly dark skin.
    -Had the wherewithal to come to America to study English literature
    -Is very effusive and is prone to showing affection in a physical manner, even for Sexworld (lots of glomping, etc.)

    What I should like to do is pinpoint a region in Africa where it is plausible to find an ethnic/cultural group that such things are normal.
     
  13. mu70

    mu70 Virgin

    Well the darkest skin is West and Central Africa, Senegal properly - yet they speak French. :D
    The Massai in East Africa - lets call it the Zulu zone are very tall but more brown then really dark.
    Problems with showing physical affection is a European problem, at least as far as I know.

    Meh... reading it again this sounds so very rascist...
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2016
  14. AlexandraS90

    AlexandraS90 Really Experienced

    The Sexworld? Whaaat?
     
  15. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Um, you're welcome to read the story if you want an answer to that.
     
  16. AlexandraS90

    AlexandraS90 Really Experienced

    No need for the shitty 'tude.
     
  17. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    What language one speaks does not prevent one from having an interest in the literature of a nation that speaks another.

    Hmmph. This does present a bit of a problem.

    Oh, good.

    Oh, dear.
     
  18. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Okay, so I'm in the process of proofreading my newest, the first chapter set at Emily's Orgy. Man, this one was rough to get through. I'll probably be posting it tomorrow, Tuesday at the latest, depending on how deep I edit it.

    I expect four chapters in this section... well, anywhere from three to five depending on how long each plot point takes. After that, I have two denoument / epilogue chapters planned, and that's the end of the line for Alex's story. For now. Could always pick her up again in the future, see what life's like a month, a year, a decade from the end, I don't know. Possibilities are endless. Or I could take another route with her, split off halfway through and see where things go. All this is pie in the sky, I'm not planning anything in particular.

    What I have been planning is the Sexworld Stories (working title) spinoff and the biker gang storyline. What I came up with is that the gang is technically 1%'ers (outlaw biker gang), but in this case they're primarily vigilantes, taking a very active approach to the underworld. I'm going to have another female lead, the President of one of the Los Angeles chapters, and the catalyst for the story is going to be looking into the annihilation of the Antelope Valley chapter (for those of you not familiar with LA County, that's about 50 miles northeast of LA in the Mojave, houses towns like Lancaster, Palmdale, Quartz Hill, Little Rock, and about a dozen Population 100 small desert towns. Good alternate route to Vegas, too.) and the subsequent investigation / revenge story. I figure the anti-hero approach will keep it from being Sons of Anarchy, Sexworld-style.

    In any case, I haven't started outlining more than the first couple of entries, but I feel like there might be something there. It will be a LOT darker than my current set of writing. But trying to get the right amount of sex, violence, and intrigue could be a cool challenge.
     
  19. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    This sounds pretty amazing.
     
  20. stonehammer69

    stonehammer69 Virgin

    Yea Edwards, big plans and I look forward to seeing them come to fruition!