(Dead) Senior Year Changelog and Discussion

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Kobe, Jan 25, 2016.

?

Should I continue https://chyoa.com/chapter/Cum-inside.228552 this branch?

Poll closed Oct 27, 2017.
  1. Yes, totally.

    7 vote(s)
    87.5%
  2. Hah, no!

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Ehh, maybe.

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%
  1. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Hello Everyone! Unfortunately, due to me realizing that Senior Year was a pretty bad story and deciding that it was garbage, I've decided to simply remove it. I know, "oh, keep it so you can look in the past" yadda yadda yadda -- but unfortunately, I just do not feel that way. However, it will always have a special place in my heart, and I have definitely learned a lot from it. I'll keep you all in tune when I decide to write an even better, much more well developed and written story.

    Happy Fapping. :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2017
    Zingiber and Duskford like this.
  2. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I really enjoyed the concept when you first posted the story, and the scenes with Katherine {gfriend1} and Shay are really good and well written. Reading the above changelog, the teachers were the option which interested me the most, especially Ms. Todd, young teacher/student is a pairing that really appeals to me. As a suggestion, if you're into incest, there can be a threesome scene with Katherine and Mrs. Pepper.
     
    Kobe likes this.
  3. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Thank you for the feedback and insight! :) I had originally planned on an incestuous threesome with Mrs. Pepper and her daughter but I wasn't too sure if I should or not. If the community would be interested in it, there's definitely a place for it! :)

    I was also planning on the main character {boy 1} having an older sister that returns home for college, but decided against that. However, I have some plans for a sequel game (fingers crossed) after I complete Senior Year, in which she definitely will play a role ;)

    Mrs. Todd is definitely a very fun part of the story from what I have in mind. I included her and the older, MILFier principal to cater to people who like both old and young teacher/student relationships.

    If you want, I'd be glad to have you on board as a writer for Senior Year! I've read some of your stuff, and I am definitely a fan :) Of course I'd need to finish up the tutorial and explain everything from there, but, if you were ever interested, the position is there.

    Thanks and happy fapping, Kobe :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
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  4. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Oh, I'm glad, then! The threesome scene with the Peppers should be fun, as would be the one with the older sister if you wanted to include her.

    You piqued my curiosity by saying Ms. Todd's part will be fun, I really enjoy reading about that kind of relationship.

    I'm glad you like my stories as well! About contributing, I can't promise anything, since my writing time is a bit scarce and my story will be a little long, leaving me with little time to contribute with fellow writers' stories. Let's wait for you to finish up the tutorial, then I'll see where I can help. :)
     
  5. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Sounds good! Good luck with your story dude! :D

    I don't want to get in the way of your own story, so I'm not gonna push you or anything! Enjoy yourself and use all your writing time on what you wanna use it on. Have a great night/day, and have fun!
     
  6. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Doing the first week is a lot -- lot -- LOT of work. So many words. I'm 100 chapters deep! 500 likes -- I couldn't ask for a more supportive group of people who read my stories! Even though it's not even close to being a top 10 story on Chyoa, I'm glad all of you continue to read. Keep it up!
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  7. Gneisbaard

    Gneisbaard Virgin

    Hey Kobe,

    First of all, I must say I'm hugely impressed with your work so far. By Jove, you don't do things by halves, now do you? Anyway, keep up this awesome story!
    I'd like to offer my help with writing this Magnum Opus, but I'm afraid I don't have any writing skills whatsoever. What I can offer, though, is editing (mainly spelling/grammar, possibly consistency?).

    By the way, I think I've spotted an AMP-problem: if the main character (MC) focusses on Shay; has a spot of dinner with her on Thursday (Day Four); and finally talks to her on Friday (Day Five), there's an option which is ‘closed’ unless the MC has garnered 70 or more AMPs. However, the maximum amount of AMPs I've managed to obtain (met Shay at the BBQ, called her after the BBQ, etc.) is 69 (a significant number in and of itself ;), but sadly one short…). Now, I may have miscounted; and, for all I know, it may be intentional. But it's been nagging me for two days now, so…

    In conclusion: please, please keep writing! (Pretty please..?)

    PS: OK, one tiny suggestion – make Ms. Todd visit a proper rock/metal \m/concert on Saturday instead of classic rock? I could even come up with some convincing fake band names…
     
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  8. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Hey, Gneisbaard! Ms. Todd's taste for classic rock was in the bio about her that Kobe gave me when I started writing her path, and being a classic rock fan myself, I saw no problem in going along with it. But Kobe will take over the path now, and if he agrees to change it, it's fine by me.
     
    Kobe likes this.
  9. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Thank you for the kind words about my story! No, I don't do anything in halves at all. I keep it one day at a time, brick by boring brick. I'd be glad to offer you a spot with writing -- but if you don't think you're up for it, don't be pressured. You can, however, help me with all of that other stuff! I use Senior Year itself as writing practice (I aspire to write when I get older), and I notice I comma splice a lot. It usually doesn't matter to everyone reading, but it bothers me at times. I'd really like for you to help me with consistency if I happen to get messed up if possible!

    Thanks for catching that AMP error. I've actually been keeping tabs on the AMPs in a draft file in Chyoa, and I recounted to 70. Could you do a recheck for me? That'd be awesome! I'm fairly sure it should be 70 (You get +1 AMP for going to dinner with her), but I'm always about being as consistent as possible.

    I'm always looking to keep consistency in check. It's one of the main things I tend to like with my stories --- everything needs to connect. Like I stated above, if you could help me maintain it the best I can, I'd be honored.

    Also -- About Ms. Todd -- She's actually based similar to a teacher I had in High School myself! She's a Classical Rocker, so I made Ms. Todd a classical rocker. There may be a chance for a metalhead in the Sprep's field since they're typically more alt/geek, so keep tuned! :)

    Always -- Kobe :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2016
  10. Gneisbaard

    Gneisbaard Virgin

    Hey Kobe,

    First of all, if Ms. Todd is kind-of sort-of based on a real (idealised :rolleyes:) High School teacher, classic rock it is. I'll keep an eye out for the metal, though (you cannot kill the metal...).

    Anyway, about that pesky AMP-total. I did a complete recount (picking the optimal path for Shay, of course) and I'm sorry to conclude that, indeed, the maximum scre obtainable at the end of Day Four is still 69. Now I'm hoping the CHYOA-codes at the end of the respective URLs are unique; I'll list these numbers with the associated AMP-gain:
    • Yes.222080 OR No--It's-wrong.222065: +10
    • Console-her.226146 OR Console-her.226103: +7
    • Cum-inside.228552: +10
    • Cum-for-her!.229260: +13
    • Shay.229617: +2
    • %22Think-of-something!%22.229856: +5
    • [40%2B-AMPs-Required]-That-book-gets-returned%2C-all-right.230433: +5
    • [Received-Invitation]-Out-to-Eat-with-Shay.230624: +1
    • He-slides-a-testy-finger-to-her-little-pucker.231298: +16
    This makes a grand total of… 69! (Note that I couldn't find a way to interact with Shay on Day 3.) So yeah, one of those pesky little book-keeping errors I'm afraid. Still, it shouldn't be too hard to fix.

    On a related note, have you ever considered to (re-)do “Senior Year” in Twine? For one thing, you wouldn't have to rely on the 'honour system' when keeping track of items, AMP scores etc. (Disclaimer: I have absolutely NO knowledge of Twine). If you want to take a peek at a really impressive piece of Twine-telling, head over to tfgamessite.com and give "Masculine Mystique" a whirl…

    I do have a busy weekend coming up, but I'll try to take a look at 'visual consistency' first. (I.e., use of italics, quotation marks, whitespace etc.) May take a while, though.
    Keep on writing!
     
    Kobe likes this.
  11. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Gotcha. Don't worry about me -- enjoy your busy weekend (If it's busy in a good way, of course :) )! Also, I'll have that Shay thing fixed in a jiffy. Just have to update one AMP in any of those posts.

    I've really, seriously considered Twine. However it is extremely confusing (extremely being a nicer word than what I'd normally say -- "How the fuck do I do anything here even") and I haven't had much time to actually get a tutorial figured out. Also, it looks like that Chyoa itself is coming up with Conditional Branches -- perhaps that can sate my need for an honor code. Also -- please nobody who decides to read this take this wrong -- Twine does not seem all that popular or user friendly. Even looking at the home screen confuses me -- and I really don't see much of a userbase there to spread my story to.
    Now nobody take that the wrong way. I don't write for the sole purpose of publicity. I write for my own enjoyment and for practice -- but it doesn't hurt to have a lot of people read and tell me how much they enjoy it. However if someone were to convince me otherwise -- perhaps even show me how the fuck to work it -- I'd be glad to at least give Twine a shot.
     
  12. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    We've hit 650 likes everyone! Thanks again to everyone. Literally just a few days ago I was at 500. I hope I can continue to write for your guys's entertainment!
     
  13. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Update --

    Hello everyone! As you may have noticed, I haven't been able to post in about 3 days now. Unfortunately, this entire week may end up like that. I have a very, very busy life at the moment, and will most likely not be able to do conditional branching, story updates, or even really get on Chyoa. However I will try my best to at least (Today, hopefully) get Sophie's branch done, then begin work on {gfriend1}(Katherine)'s branch next.

    Thank you all,
    Kobe :)
     
    Duskford likes this.
  14. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Hope it gets better for you, but don't worry, real life always comes first. Don't know if you noticed, but the conditions/variables features was implemented, maybe you don't need to rely on the players' "honor code" anymore. ;)
     
  15. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Looks good. But confusing. Maybe you could help me with the whole "Conditional Branching" later? I should be back by Monday or Sunday night at the latest!
     
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  16. Genericc616

    Genericc616 Virgin CHYOA Backer

    Just wanted to say I'm really enjoying this story, and I always look forward when I see there a new chapters :)
     
    Kobe likes this.
  17. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I can try to help, but to be honest, I didn't fully understand the mechanics yet.
     
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  18. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    I should be back by roughly tomorrow everyone! Hooray! Tonight however I will be working on a shitload of editing -- trying to figure out both how to work conditional branches as well as linking chapters so I can make my story as cohesive and enjoyable as possible!

    If I could, I'd totally just make this shit my job. Then I could just focus on it!

    But anyways, yeah I'm back. I was at a competition, got a bronze and silver medal! (I lost gold by literally less than one point, kinda pissed off about that)
     
  19. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    Thank you! :)
     
  20. Kobe

    Kobe Experienced

    I reached 750 likes and 350 favorites! Hooray for personal accolades! Thanks everyone!