"Moving to the Sexworld" Discussion

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by edwards21, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Right on, dude! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with!
     
  2. Daemonfrog

    Daemonfrog Virgin

    Awesome! I have a chapter in the works right now, it's just waiting on approval. Let me know what you think!
     
  3. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    All right, so my work is about to go completely bugfuck insane. Totally overboard. Basically once mother's day rolls around, I'll be more or less completely unable to write.

    So here's my declaration: I am going to have Alex's Route 1 done by May 6. I have three weeks, and I think I can handle that. I'm damn close as it is.

    And again, in case people are worried, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing altogether. At the very least I'm still very interested in the biker gang story, and I have several character and plot ideas, though it's not fully fleshed out. And nothing says I won't revisit Alex and her friends and family down the road. But for now, I don't want to leave the ending to this story hanging. I already disappeared for a couple months halfway through once. Not interested in doing it again.
     
  4. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    Sorry it took me so long guys...

    OK, so, here goes...

    -Warehouse 69, in which the protagonists of the TV series Warehouse 13 switch places with their Sexworld counterparts.

    -Maybe In A Different World, I'd Be Born Better, in which the MCU Iron Man and Pepper Potts get sent to Sexworld (also Maria Hill, due to a misunderstanding between myself and the writer). Very incomplete, and ended up adding a bunch of non-Iron Man elements.

    -Choose Your Own X-Venture, in which some X-Men end up in Sexworld; as the title suggests, the writer is trying an experiment and will be letting feedback from Patreon decide what course the story will take. Currently only one chapter.

    -Seven and Annika, was supposed to be a Sexworld fic based on the TV series Star Trek: Voyager, but the writer seems to be doing something a bit different. Currently only one chapter.

    -Eight Million Stories In the City of Lights, was supposed to Sexworld fic based on the TV series The 100, but again, the writer seems to be doing something different. Also only has one chapter.

    -Aladdin and the Queens of Storybrooke was supposed to be a Sexworld version of Disney's Aladdin, but A: somehow ended up as a crossover with the TV series Once Upon A Time, and B: became something different. Very incomplete, and since the writer hasn't gotten around to updating it in years, will probably remain so.

    -The Lucretia Incident, similarly, was supposed to be a Sexworld version of the Star Trek reboot, but ended up something different. It too is very incomplete and hasn't been updated in years.

    -The Gwen Stacy Syndrome is a Spider-Man fic about Spidey entering into an open threeway relationship wiht Mary-Jane and the Black Cat; at some point, the writer and I decided it depicts a world that is becoming Sexworld, but hasn't gotten there yet. It's complete, but has a cliffhanger ending that was meant to lead to a crossover with Ultimacy, a series by the writer about an AU version of the Ultimate universe. The writer has not yet got around to writing said crossover, and instead skipped over it for the moment to write a sequel to GSS entitled Spider+Cat+Redhead, which just completed an arc that's half about Spider-Man being stuck on Sexworld.
     
  5. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    I... I'm sorry. I tried. I got about halfway through Warehouse... I'm not going to be able to give constructed feedback with these. I won't way which one, but I've actually worked on one of these shows as part of my job, I know the people involved... it really doesn't feel right. I won't be able to provide constructive feedback on these.
     
  6. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced



    For those of you scared to click the link, that's Europe's "The Final Countdown." A song I find utterly appropriate for this announcement.

    With the posting of today's chapter, I am proud to announce that there is only ONE regular chapter left in this route! I'm still planning a few epilogue chapters to round some things up, and put a little bow on the story, but one week from today, I will be releasing the climax (heh, heh).

    This chapter's title gave me no small amount of trouble. The problem is the contradiction of using a Bible verse as a title in a sex story.

    John 8:32 is one of my favorites in the same way that The Room is one of my favorite movies. No one gets it, everything involved with it is wrong, and looking at it with anything other than total irony is pretty much impossible. You have to laugh at it, because it has no business in the modern age.

    "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

    That, my friends, is the motto of the US Central Intelligence Agency, unto itself the most hilarious use for that verse I could have thought up. Other than the bash.org quote where a guy got a bot kicked from a chat room for reading a Bible verse with the word "ass" in it. That was also pretty hilarious.

    It's also a fitting title for my newest chapter, because it's the chapter where Alex's scheme falls apart, everything gets out into the open, and the road is opened up for the emotional climax (heh, heh) of the story. Now when I tried to title it, it went through some revisions. First, I tried the whole thing. "John 8:32 ({Full Verse})." But that was long and unwieldy. So I shortened it to just "John 8:32" for a second before realizing that A: that's asking people to go look up a Bible verse which is the wrong thing to do here, and B: those who don't get the reference might think I'm trying to rip off and/or reference Stone Cold Steve Austin. So that didn't last long. Then I tried just "...Make you Free." Before I realized that it's not enough of the quote for people to really recognize. Then I tried the whole back line, "The truth shall make you free." But that's just way too on the nose. I finally settled on "... Shall make you free." Which I think sits on that line between reasonable and recognizable.

    Other than that, I got to shout out Die Hard, Boondock Saints, and The Godfather in this chapter, so I'm feeling pretty good!
     
  7. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    I've, uh, actually contemplated creating a thread for Sexworld Bible Stories.
     
  8. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    *Sigh* So much for one week.
     
  9. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Okay, finally have a minute or two to get back to writing. Maybe we'll see some progress soon, who knows?
     
  10. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    I'M BAAAAACK!

    Just wrapped up writing Part 23. Finally. Holy SHIT why did that take so long!? Oh, Right. I found myself having to rewrite an entire adult indie game I'm working on. That was... yeah. A thing.

    Anyway, I'm going to proof that today and probably release that tomorrow. I'm already working on Parts 24 and 25.

    Good to be back guys, and I'm sorry for the ultra massive delay.
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  11. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    I cannot wait.

    No, seriously, anybdoy got a time machine I could borrow?
     
  12. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Buddy, if I had one, I'd have been using it by now.
     
  13. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    So, I can't just skip ahead to when you've posted it then? Pity.
     
  14. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    I feel so relieved now that it's out there. Two months worth of picking away at that one. It isn't even all that special! Man... Adulting can suck sometimes, takes so much time away from the fun shit.
     
  15. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    Was worth the wait.
     
  16. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Okay, proofing the next one now. If I were more sadistic, I might be considered to use this next chapter as a finale, but don't worry, there are still two or three more to go. I still have a few loose ends to tie up.
     
  17. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    So some notes on the newest chapter.

    My original plan for it was just the conversation between Alex and Cassie, though I realized very quickly that there just wasn't enough content for the chapter. So I started thinking about the practical consequences of Alex's romp that night. I thought to myself "wouldn't it be funny if this was someone else's room?" And a way to quietly explore the multi-family home thing that's common in my vision of Sexworld. Houses being shared by three or four families to cut costs and increase potential partners.

    Now I did cut a scene where Alex was awoken by the Wasizaki sisters taking her to the bath and giving her water, but the problem was, that was really boring to read. So I may have created a plot hole there. If it gets too weird I may edit something in, I don't know. I feel like the chapter flows in sort of a dream-like state as it is. Besides, I'm pretty sure the scene did happen but Alex just didn't remember. When was the last time you woke up in the middle of the night and remembered every detail?

    There was a part of me that wanted to use this chapter as the capstone to the piece. In a lot of stories, especially with the emotional crux of the story being getting the two characters together, this would be a solid endpoint. But I feel like there's still a little more to say. At the risk of Return of the King'ing this and taking too long to end the story, I have an epilogue sequence I'm going to add to give a few more story threads some conclusion. That'll run, maybe three chapters. I'm already about halfway through the first of those three, so that should be coming sooner rather than later. That first chapter will probably have the highest ratio of sex in the entire piece, since I'm presenting it as a series of vignettes, all of which will feature a sexual encounter as some time. As Joseph Campbell would put it, this is the "master of the new world" part of the Hero's Journey. And when that new world is Sexworld, there's gotta be a lot of sex, right?
     
    stonehammer69 and Zingiber like this.
  18. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Six... thousand... words.

    That's how long this next chapter is, and I'm not even done. Probably another thousand before I send this one off.

    My vignettes idea is actually working perfectly... I'm just a fuckin' verbose writer. I'd love to split it up, but there's just nowhere to do it. It all flows the way it flows, and giving it a page break is going to interrupt things.

    Ugh. This "writing porn" thing ended up way harder than I wanted.
     
  19. edwards21

    edwards21 Experienced

    Okay, this is getting to be too much. I'm going to break it up, post one or two vignettes as individual chapters every couple of days starting today. This thing's going to be a bear to read in its current form.
     
  20. Shendude

    Shendude Experienced

    Either way works for me.