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I’m up to about twice as many chapters as when I first posted this. I’ve added a character summary section and have a larger cast in general. I really want to hear thoughts from anyone who has kept up with this.

It was waay easier for me to write in past tense. Present tense is hard.

If you want multiple encounters per floor you should group by theme. Orc + goblin. Pixie + faerie Queen. Holstaurs + centaur + satyr. Lamia + gorgon + gargoyles.

Right now it looks like you have 11 encounters(floors) that are unoccupied. Maybe better to reduce the number of floors rather than try and cram in encounters for the sake of encounters. Otherwise, there are some monsters that you have left untapped. Lamia, Oozes, Holstaurs, Orcs, Goblins, Fey...

I’m always willing to take more feedback. I just published the third chapter so let me know what you think.

So I added two chapters. If it is something you want me to continue I’ll keep on it.

https://chyoa.com/story/Advanced-Fantasy.39456 I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Generally speaking I’ve been able to work my way around it when I get stuck but now I’m genuinely having some trouble figuring out what’s supposed to happen next. Any ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated. I’be...

Post the story here and I’ll give you advice on flow. It might not be professional level, but it’s better than nothing.

Hey I have a story out right now that kinda fills that niche. The main branch is office based not high school but I would be happy to have you contribute if it was something that you might be into. https://chyoa.com/story/Advanced-Fantasy.39456

Okay, so I went through the first thirty chapters or so, adding page breaks and making some adjustments to pacing. After about chapter thirty I think I do a good job of keeping away from the walls of text.

Hey I appreciate the response. I’ve definitely been working on refining my writing process and I think it improves pretty strongly over time. Do you still find those issues(readability, pacing, descriptiveness) with any of the later chapters?

I added a link to the story. Let me know what you think, I’m excited to hear some of your feedback. I’m still a pretty green writer, so I appreciate you helping me out.

Hi, everyone. Hoping to turn this topic into a discussion thread for my story, called “Advanced Fantasy” The biggest story line in Advanced Fantasy is a slice of life harem, focusing on Arthur and his escapades, set in a fantasy universe where technology has advanced to modern day levels...