A New Home

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by airwreck, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. airwreck

    airwreck Really Experienced

    https://chyoa.com/story/A-New-Home.1654

    I recently took ownership of an old story by alextbryon that only was only two threads deep but I saw potential. I loved the idea of the male protagonist finding a new place to live with three beautiful roommates -- a redhead, a busty blonde, and a tall, slender brunette.

    Right now I'm trying to build up a relationship between the protagonist and the three girls instead of the cliched jumping on them as soon as he moves in.

    Any feedback and suggestions would be appreciated.
     
    madmaniac and Zingiber like this.
  2. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

  3. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    A really nice story, indeed!

    As a suggestion, I really enjoyed the part where Sara went for lesbian experimentation and started sucking Jen's nipple, maybe there can be a path where the MC goads her into delving into those new urges and experiment more with her friends.
     
    airwreck and madmaniac like this.