For those who didn't know, you're a pope now. All human beings on the planet are Popes of Discordianism. Anyway, the four guys walk into a bar and sit down at the bar. Bartender goes to the Priest, who orders a fine red wine. The bartender gives it to the Priest, and then requests the eight dollar payment. The Priest reminds the Bartender about the great history of Holy Mother Church, and how the Bartender is in fact charging for the blood of Jesus Christ. Very ashamed, the Bartender moves on to the next customer, who is the Imam. The Imam orders a very complicated coffee, which the Bartender happily makes on the large espresso machine in the back of the bar. When he returns and puts it on the bar, he tells the Imam it costs five dollars. The Imam wails that he has no money, and that it is very important that the bartender give him the coffee for nothing. When the Bartender moves to take the coffee back, the Imam pulls a knife and threatens to kill the bartender if he even touches the coffee because the coffee is HIS and he will defend it forever! The Bartender wisely decides not to make an issue of five bucks worth of coffee, and moves on to the Rabbi. The Rabbi orders a Tahitian Zombie with a Tiki mug, an umbrella, a bunch of fruit, a commemorative souvenir photo, a Bar T-shirt, a Pack of Cigarettes, Seventeen Lottery tickets, and a microwave burrito. The Bartender is very busy for a few minutes, but manages to scrape together everything the Rabbi wants and slaps it down on the bar. He then requests the Eighty Seven dollar and Thirteen cents that the tab comes to. The Rabbi asks if the Bartender knows who he is. The Rabbi also reminds the Bartender that performance reviews are coming up, and does he really want an accusation of antisemitism on his record? The Bartender is incredibly happy to completely waive the Rabbi's tab in exchange for forgetting all about it. At this point, the Bartender is just sick of it, and looks at the Pope and just WAITS for the bullshit excuse. The Pope orders a Cider. The bartender pops open the Cider and places it on the bar in a challenging gesture and informs the pope that it costs five dollars. The Pope opens his wallet, and puts a ten on the counter. He tells the Bartender to keep the change. The Pope then takes a nice long drink of his cider, and looks at the other three guys with a smile. The other three guys proceed to beat the Pope to death for breaking quarantine.
Yeah, I could tell, because I'm currently cloistered and celibate. I still have a job, so when it comes to chat software, I'm more of a Slacktivist.
Hmmmm... A catfish... Noodle? This is what is called noodling, right? Perfectly executed, proving that you are indeed a Discordian Pope and we must listen to you because you deny it.
