Any tips on not feeling too ashamed of yourself to write?

I really like the idea of a collaborative choose-your-own-adventure storytelling website where you can potentially grow and explore in so many different directions, and it feels like your own secret little burrow, but I just can't bring myself to contribute. I don't think it's just my colossal lack of talent; the desire to write still doesn't go away, but I just can't bring myself to bother. It's like...I think of the story I'd like to write, but I feel like putting it into words is a waste of time. I'm just going to make people cringe and ignore me. I don't understand how people feel pride in their work, regardless of the effort it takes. I don't see the gain in inflicting myself on other people. I feel like a worthless waste of time, and I don't understand what drives other people to feel leagues more confident than I could ever be in expressing themselves creatively. I despise my lack of activity, and feel like every day my vision just becomes metaphorically dimmer and dimmer until I can barely think two feet in front of my own face.

 

Yeah, that happens.

The blank page is the greatest challenge any would-be-writer faces. Infinite possibilities, and so easy to fuck it all up, and who would want to write it anyway? But you look around at the other stories on this site, and the realization swiftly comes that most people don't care, and most of the folks that do care tend to be more positive than negative. There's a reason why CHYOA has a like button but not a dislike button. Nobody is voting you off the island because you didn't describe the way a tongue slithers into a pussy with sufficient zest and elegance.

It's all in good fun.

Trepidation largely starts to evaporate with practice. If you don't think what you write is good enough, then actively work to get better. Write a scene, post it, and if it doesn't come out quite as you'd like, write another chapter and try harder. Maybe nothing any of us write here may ever go down in the hallowed halls of erotica like Aphrodite deep-throating Hesphaestus, but if you don't write anything then it's an absolute guarantee that you'll never improve your skills, or get the stories out of your head and into some kind of fixed form.

For some folks, it's all about goals. Set yourself a time to write, and a goal. Doesn't have to be ambitious. Write 500 words, even if you end up deleting half of them. Create some characters. Outline a plot. Watch a porn video and think of how you would describe those actions in your own words. How you would capture what you feel when you read a really good scene. Set yourself little tasks and then do them. Maybe your first chapters won't be up to snuff, but if you keep writing, you can keep improving.

 

How often do you think about other people’s mistakes or faux pas? How much do you really care if someone’s a little weird? Even if you do think someone’s a little odd, does you thinking that affect their life in any way?

Everyone else is a person just like you. They don’t have any more power or authority than you do. Their words are no more meaningful than yours are. Often they’re too caught up in their own world to pay you attention for more than a few moments.

And even if they do give you attention, consider that no matter what you do, someone somewhere is going to think you’re wrong or stupid or untalented. You can’t please everyone. If you live your life for other people you’ll never live at all.

You know why I write? Because it’s fun. And there are 8,000,000,000 people on the planet. At least a few of them are gonna enjoy what I put out. Those few are the people I want to read my work. Everyone else is free to ignore me as much as they like.

 

First and foremost I write for me, I enjoy the process. When I write I write what I enjoy reading, I'm not thinking about the my audience at all. Think of an actor about to go on stage, who has stage fright. If they think about the audience then the stage fright will get the better of them, they have to block it out and concentrate on their role. That's what you have to do as a writer, block out your audience and write for you.

I'll let you into a little secret. Even the most experienced and confident authors on CHYOA worry when they post a new chapter, it's natural and normal, it just means you care.

I'd say about 50% of what I write never sees the light of day, either I don't like it or it didn't work well enough. Again, that's normal, nobody writes perfect stuff ALL the time. I think first you need to just get used to writing, even if it's crap that will never get published, just write something, anything, just get words on a page, form a habit. Over time you'll get better, especially if you look at online resources to help guide you, there are loads but I find Reedsy very helpful.

Good luck.