I have three characters I'd like some feedback on, sadly it's really hard to get anyone's opinion. But when feedback did come, it was more that transformative. First character: Female heroine - She's supposed to start off cynical, in a very low point, apathetic to everything. She's supposed to be great planner and deductive observer. I'm going to have two things happen to her, first she needs to become a leader, this means regaining confidence and trust in people. Then I want her to be confronted on her ability to mind control, and the morality of it. So firstly I'll ask if her cynicism and ability to plan comes through? Can you understand her flaws and strengths? Second, do you feel it's shown that she's in it only for herself (for now) and she won't trust anyone that easily? Or did her exchange with Roland hampered that? Thirdly, advice on the morality of mind control? Also I noticed she's becoming more and more like Harley Quinn, how bad is it? Second character: Side character, the Mage - I want to turn her from a controling, competitive and must be always on top character to a more relaxed, spontaneous and less tight character. Does it feel that those are the problems with her and that's where she's headed? Third Character: Side character Producer (Futa path)- Her journey should be from a by the book, closed character to a free, confident in her body, that is willing to indulge sometimes. Did you get any of that from the story? Feel free to comment on the writing as well, I'd like to improve in that regard also. Thank you for reading through this
