So I felt that now is the time to create my first story as I have taken the time to truly see a lot of what this site has to offer. As this is the case, I would greatly appreciate any feedback for this first story, and would love any criticism you can send my way, whether it's grammatical, an idea you feel would better fit the story, or even just a chapter not being as good as it could be. Thanks to anyone and all who read, and here's the link: https://chyoa.com/story/The-Man-Who-Gets-It-All.25695 Have a good one, yo
Hi I’ve only read the first chapter but it’s a promising start, well written and good prose, I like the way you talk to the reader directly, similar to when a tv character looks down the camera and addresses the audience. The only feed back I’ll give is something I was given on my first story by one of the girls on here. Try to avoid describing breasts with bra sizes like 32b etc. I’ve no idea why but I think it reads better as a description, such as medium to large, hanging or pert etc, maybe it’s more personal. Whoever gave me that tip Ive stuck by it and I think it’s true enough. I’ll read the rest soon and let you you what I think. It’s a really good start, well done for getting your writing out there. First story is a hell of a buzz!
Thank you for checking it out! I really have no problem with changing how I describe breasts. If it makes it a more pleasant experience for some readers, by all means. Plus, it helps me avoid trying to be extremely specific with the number and letters and such, so thanks for the tip! Will add that on for the many stories and chapters to come.
