Hello, I'd really appreciate if people gave me feedback on how to improve Time, Space, Magic. https://chyoa.com/story/Time,-Space,-Magic.11470 Thanks.
Well, you've got a pretty decent main path, but not a lot of branches, and several of those dead end. The writing is fine (first person isn't my preference, but it works when you're doing an RPG style CHYOA); it moves quickly, and I like the degree of anticipation. You might consider adding little side branches that go on for a chapter or two then loop back into the main path, to at least give the illusion of more options. I'll admit some of the chapter titles/options don't make a lot of sense. I think you should also be able to actually embed images instead of just including an imgur link (although I like that there ARE images, don't get me wrong.)
I haven't figured out how to embed images to it, which is why I had to use imgur xD. (I also low-key gave up on images later). I guess I could just change the perspective, but it'd be a bit odd at this point if I suddenly changed. I regretfully have to go back and edit everythign as tenses/spelling are all over the place. Recently, I've been trying to add some side chapters, but they're kinda hard to do. I was planning to use the game mode in a really complex conditional series of paths so there's only 4-5 real endings but depending on your previous skills you can choose specific bonus chaps to read, but it's been a pain to implement.
I don't think you need to change the perspective (as you mention, you've already gone this far with it, it would be a pain to change it). Game mode stuff is fun, but I can appreciate how much of a pain it must be on the coding end - haven't done any of it in my writing for the site yet, though maybe my next story. It's the dead-ends that kind kill game-mode stories for me; maybe you could, just as placeholders, tidy things up a bit and loop back to the main path, at least temporarily, instead of leaving dead ends or To-Be-Written chapters? You can always go back and edit them later.
I guess I'll close some loops before working on warrior path again. I'm hoping to get 3-4 paths to 50 and then getting mage to 60-70 and re-editing.
