Hi folks, I'd appreciate some feedback on my new story! https://chyoa.com/story/Hannah's-on-Vacation.28693 Hannah has decided to go on vacation. Walter has decided he wants a vacation as Hannah. This story follows Walter and his erotic and at times comical adventures as Hannah while the real one is away and none the wiser.
It's a bit random at the moment. The basic idea of a guy "Vacationing" as a hot woman, learning how to dress and act like her, slutting it up maybe - classic gender-bender fantasy. The pictures are fun, but the storyline is undeveloped - most of the chapters are very short, and end with the boilerplate "What's Next?" instead of any kind of prompt or decision point. I think the idea certainly has potential, but you might want to focus on what the actual plot of the story is. If one branch is serious and the other is zany, that's fine - but some actual idea of how Walter feels going through the transformations, being Hannah etc. would go a long way to improving the story as it stands.
We talked about this in our PMs, but plenty of possibilities suggest themselves: Walter exploring Hannah's body, Walter running into complications with somebody that knows Hannah showing up - we talked about her brother or sister, but Hannah might also be working as an escort, or have a job in a pornographic movie, etc. Or maybe she just has a massage scheduled with a very attractive female friend...lots of possibilities.
