I've been writing 'Losing It All' for a while now (I try to write at least one new chapter each day to keep from getting rusty), and I figure it could help to get some feedback/advice from other writers. All responses are welcome, but I do have a couple specific issues I've been thinking about in particular: I'm concerned that my writing tends to be too verbose, and that I take too long to get to the good (read: fun & dirty) parts of the story. I also would love to get some pointers on how to write better/hotter sex scenes. I feel like too often I end up falling back on the same few words to describe sexual parts and actions, resulting in my sex scenes being too similar/repetitive.
Skimming through, if you're verbose, I'm positively loquacious. Think I've cracked 2k words multiple times. If anything, I think you could stand to be longer-winded(500 words minimum) which I think is a great minimum number. Don't see how you can flesh out characters otherwise. Use white space correctly and it flows in a few minutes. Other than that, I like my girls sweaty, sticky, and creamy in the middle. So, you're a bit softcore for my tastes. But again, that's just a taste(I'm a horrible pervert)thing.
I'll look through your work a bit more and give you a better critique tomorrow. I think I can help in one regard though. The img/.gif code is  make sure you leave no stray spaces.
I recently tried to write my first chapter about tickling. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Tickling!.508959 It's a bit out of my wheelhouse, so I'd love any advice I can get on how to improve it.
