Magic Marker

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Kazza, Sep 3, 2019.

  1. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    So, I've just released a new story - https://chyoa.com/story/Magic-Marker.23647

    The basic plot revolves around a magical marker that enables the user to change themselves and others both physically and mentally by writing on their skin.

    So far the response has been great. It already has more likes in less than a day than my first ever published story which has been up for over a year. I attribute some of this to gaming the system somewhat by releasing smaller chapters than I used to but in larger quantities. Never the less it feels like some small measure of writing progress has been achieved.

    I've approached this story more lineally than any of my previous submissions as I've tended to get bogged down by too many options in some of my other stories which caused me to go a bit cross eyed at times. Once I have a full start to finish thread then I will start to flesh out some of the alternate threads that I have seeded throughout.

    If anyone has any feedback on my story it would be greatly appreciated as it has received no comments as of yet and it is hard to know what you are doing well and not so well by just studying the analytics.

    :)
     
  2. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    First comment in!
    and
    it's
    goooooooooooooooood!
    *Siren horn noises*
     
  3. dingsdongs

    dingsdongs Really Really Experienced

    Suggestion: You could vary the strength of the effect the marker has, depending on the way it is used:
    If you write in lower case / regular capitalization, the effect takes place in a regular way.
    However if you write in all Capital Letters, like "HUGE TITS", "SUBMISSIVE SLAVE", "SIZE QUEEN", etc. pp. the effects could be very pronounced / even exaggerated, or could have a lingering after effect, that leaves a reduced or subconscious effect on the body / mind for quite some time, after the initial effect has already faded. Or a very strong effect that fades very quickly, while the regular effect would last much longer.
    And if you apply a lot of pressure / use a lot of ink when writing, the effect could last much longer than normal.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2019
    Kazza likes this.
  4. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    Interesting idea! I never thought about how it is written changing how it affects the person. I chose to capitalize it from a formatting point of view, just so it was easier for the reader to tell what is actually written and not. I do already have a few ideas regarding longevity of the markers effects, let's just say when the roommate enters the story she may or may not gain access to a tattoo gun...

    ;)
     
  5. dingsdongs

    dingsdongs Really Really Experienced

    Looking forward to what you have planned :)

    I left likes in the story and wrote a few more comments with further suggestions, since you explicitly asked for "likes and comments" ;-)
     
    Kazza likes this.
  6. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    I really appreciate it! I'm a slut for comments :D
     
  7. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    Wow, in less than three days Magic Marker now officially has the most likes of any story that I have published! Even Hogwarts School of Witchdom and Fuckery which boasts 800 likes with over twice the chapters has been dethroned and that's been up for months! Really happy with how the story is going, only hope that my writing fairies don't abandon me now...
     
    Dansak likes this.
  8. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    Passed the 1000 likes and 100,000 views milestone! Woooo! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
     
  9. Kazza

    Kazza Experienced

    What a week! I can't believe how much interest the story has managed to garner in such a small amount of time and have now also discovered that it has officially been named this weeks story of the week! Thank you to everyone in this community who has read and continues to support this story <3