Hello all. Just got my first independent story going, and am looking for initial reactions and feedback for it. I know I don't have much yet, but hopefully I'll be able to get a few more up soon, including getting into a little spicy stuff. The Curse Busters
Remember, the number one thing readers are trying to figure out when they're starting to a read a story is this: Is this worth my time? Your goal as a writer is to answer that question with a resounding 'yes!', the quicker the better. And that goes double for an erotic story, which means people may be reading with one hand between their legs: not only does the story need to appeal to them, so should the sex. Every second counts! I can tell you tried to avoid info dumping too hard by including a bit of plot development in the introductory paragraphs, but you're still presenting a lot of information about things that readers really don't need to know about just yet. Mind you, it's some of the better exposition I've read! In many stories on CHYOA it's a bone-dry list of names, places, and descriptions. You've managed to give it life, and it's pretty enjoyable to read... buuut it's still an info dump. Try to figure out what the bare minimum is that you need to get to something spicy (sex or plot or both), and hold everything else back to drip-feed to your readers as the need arises.
