Perils of a Novice Superheroine

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by fyreant, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. fyreant

    fyreant Experienced

    https://chyoa.com/story/Perils-of-a-Novice-Superheroine.10495

    Greetings readers! After several months I figured we might as well start up a thread for this story. I can't stress enough how pleasantly surprised I was to see this silly little setting I created on a whim grow as much as it has and blossom under amazing authors like otx, thedespaxas and heynow. The stories of Nudge, The Breeze and Flame all contain some of the best writing on the site in my opinion. Go check them out!

    Now, some of my readers might notice that my chapters have been slower recently, due to a malfunctioning computer and other real life stuff. So while I try to get back into the groove of writing I figured I would open up a thread here for ideas, suggestions, discussion of character concepts, etcetera etcetera.

    So I will definitely be continuing the Nightingale thread I'm also considering creating another character or two, both for my own amusement and to give other prospective authors a jumping-off point if they want to get their feet wet. Part and parcel to that, since I want the story to be open to any and all fetishes and interests, I'm planning to go ahead and make it public and just edit chapters with spelling or grammar that I find distracting, with deletion as a last resort.

    So in both here and in the story proper, go nuts and let your ideas run wild, the sky is the limit! However, I would like to ask Forum goers to refrain from posting just to complain about the genre of the story or the inclusion of any particular kinks or other content. In other words, feel free to ask for something to be included, but don't call for things to be excluded. Constructive criticism is fine, but please be kind.

    That said, if anyone is in particular concerned about me changing the moderation of the story to public, I'm definitely willing to listen.

    Lastly, thanks to all our readers and everyone who's commented!
     
  2. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Well, I am happy for you, truely, you've come a long way Fyreant. One of the top stories on the site, incredibly popular...

    And an affront to everything the super hero genre is supposed to stand for.

    You will be going straight to the top of the charts on this site, everyone loves an unmoderated story, at least until the pedo and bestiality chapters get it shut down, but you will do it without me. I can't be part of the rape and incest fest that your story is about to become, in any way shape or form, which is why I just deleted all my chapters.

    Have fun, I wish you all the success your tale deserves.
     
  3. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    *Opens up the Black Fox chapter*
    Finally, something close to what I like (furry)!
    *Skews off into BDSM rape sex slave stuff*
    I'm off.

    General setting seems good though.
     
  4. Loeman

    Loeman Really Really Experienced

    Ah, the silent majority, keeping the rape and incest stories at the top. Good old silent majority.

    But... really... this story has 'good woman in peril' written all over it. Ya'll can have them morals that I've left behind, but you should be a little more jaded by now.
     
  5. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    It becomes kinda boring having people (often the same one) giving moral lessons on a site where they write porn. Also the whole thing about not realizing that fiction doesn't include anyone to be hurt by what happens in it.

    On the story concerned, the setting was awesome and I had a lot of fun writing the Breeze storyline, (kinda blocked on continuing it for now but inspiration will come back one day.)

    The fact that multiple lines in it began not being alternatives but running parallel and even intersecting was a wonderful experience as a writer and reader.

    I took a lot of pleasure reading most storylines in it.

    The comic inspiration allows for interesting variations such as having slight divergences in two stories that were once in sync (different dimensions, retcon... etc) without having it being strange.

    I considered before that to write some superhero stuff but it took FyreAnt story for me to jump in it, so thanks a lot.
     
    fyreant likes this.
  6. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Thoughts become opinions.
    Opinions become words.
    Words Become Actions.
    Guard your thoughts.
    ~ The Dalai Lama.
     
  7. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    Apart from fortune cookie philosophy from a delusional vagrant following your line of reasoning would imply that there shouldn't be any representation of anything harmful or illegal (violence, theft, murder after all why stop at rape.). Which would censor about 90% or more of all movies, books, TV shows, video games, comics and stories in all history.

    I can't abide censorship. And I can't understand your attitude of removing something you wrote because another author adds something you don't like in a branch independent from yours. You give others too much power over yourself if you let them decide for you in which stories you can write.
     
    fyreant likes this.
  8. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    I believe you mean "heroic freedom fighter".
     
  9. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    “Watch your thoughts, they become words;
    watch your words, they become actions;
    watch your actions, they become habits;
    watch your habits, they become character;
    watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
    ~Frank Outlaw

    That was the first use of the modern quote by Frank Outlaw, but it probably evolved from another quote from a newspaper in England that reported on a speech delivered by a student that went along the lines of:

    "Mr. Wiseman then cautioned his young friends as to the habits they contracted in early life:—”Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap.” You sow an act, you reap a habit (acts repeated constitute habits); you sow a habit, you reap a character; you sow a character, you reap a destiny. Let them, he said, cultivate habits of industry, application, and order, and they might rely upon it, with God’s blessing, they would succeed in life."

    I couldn't find anywhere where The Dalai Lama said the quote...although I found numerous claims that Lao Tzu did, but that seems to be a more modern claim with no basis in history.

    Sorry, years of reading Homestuck has conditioned me to do research on quotes(as that webcomic often misquoted famous quotes and attributed them to the wrong person all the time for "comedic effect". Quote Investigator is your friend.


    I believe you mean "Dovahkiin"

    I am a huge geek
     
    fyreant likes this.
  10. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    No I don't mean that. Believing he is the reincarnation of a mystical dude from the past includes the delusional.

    A pacifist freedom fighter is an oxymoron.

    And while I in no way support the Chinese government in what they did, pre invasion Tibet was a theocratic feudal state where most people were serfs to the monarch.

    On the point of the other proposed origin of the quotes it is the same idea behind every attempt at censorship. The idea that you can't talk about or show something or people will do it. Billions read about and see all sort of things they will never do, I don't accept that we have to deprive them of some freedom because of a handful that would have probably have done it anyway even without inspiration.
     
    fyreant likes this.
  11. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Correction: I hold myself to a higher standard.

    Like a D&D Paladin I refrain from even associating with those involved in activities which are harmful to the Body Politic.

    Secondly: there is a key difference between what is shown on the silver screen and what is occurring on this site: name me ONE, (just one,) mainstream movie where Rape is shown in a POSITIVE context?

    Can't do it, can You?

    Now name five where the rapist is not dead or in prison by the end of the film...

    You see the difference surely?

    Perhaps it is censorship:

    "The most stringent protection of free speech would not protect a man falsely shouting 'fire' in a theater and causing a panic."
    ~
    Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. Writing for the unanimous decision of the Supreme Court in the case of Schenck v. United States
     
  12. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    First, Fyreant I am really sorry for what happened here, (I'll advise you to ask an administrator to scrap this and restart a topic for your story.)

    you compare mainstream entertainment with porn , two different things. There is cultural taboo about sex and the ratings system means that to an extent there is some censorship of what is published. My view is that as long as no-one is harmed I don't see the problem and words on a page don't harm people.

    When I read a chapter that I don't like on this site I don't down vote it, I don't comment to school or insult the author, I just ignore it. If I write in a story and that other adds things I don't like as long as it doesn't destroy my branches I let them. It just seem that at any turn I see you talking shot to people, reporting stuff, complaining about not being able to downvote/censor/ban people.

    I'll probably stop interacting with you at all from now and if the threads stays I'll delete all but my first message because the rest is out of topic unless the thread is renamed freedom of expression versus puritanical censorship.
     
  13. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    Seconded.
     
    TheDespaxas likes this.
  14. fyreant

    fyreant Experienced

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharsis
    There isn't a lot of middle ground when it comes to this concept, and it tends to lead to very sharp disagreement. That's okay. It's one of the great unresolved conflicts of philosophy.



    (And many, many other examples from the same film series.)

    This precedent was used not only for countless acts of artistic censorship in the 20th century, but to imprison or otherwise persecute dozens of people for their political beliefs. I suspect that you aren't exactly a card-carrying ACLU member.

    Holding yourself to "a higher standard" is noble and worth respecting. Criticizing a work which you (correctly!) find to be problematic is also absolutely the right thing to do.

    Advocacy of censorship - particularly on a site that has numerous disclaimers and is extremely forthright about the fact that problematic, potentially offensive content is hosted there - is ignoble, and furthermore, undercuts the value of any criticism you had hoped to make. You've given this story honest criticism, and I thank you. But I suspect there is too wide a gap between our fundamental religious and political beliefs to have much of a productive discussion in this forum. If "delete the chapters that have been posted" is at the top of the list of your suggested ways to improve the story, I fear we don't have any place to go from here except a shouting match.
     
    hematoma and TheDespaxas like this.
  15. fyreant

    fyreant Experienced

    That's a good idea but I'm not sure how to do this.
     
  16. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    You can report your own first post and tell the admin what you want done in the reason of report.

    I saw an admin/mod say to use that somewhere.
     
  17. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Indeed you did, and yes, I am sort of bragging, but also telling on myself when I say: I'm the one who posted the thread where that advice was given, right before they shut it down... :confused:
     
  18. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    In other news, I do apologize for the part I played in derailing this thread, and will refrain from doing the same in any upcoming reincarnation. I may, perhaps, drop in to offer strictly technical critique, but will refrain from causing moralistic debates, and encourage others to do the same.
     
  19. neo_kenka

    neo_kenka Virgin CHYOA Backer

    <_< >_> Well, before this post gets bombarded from orbit: I say do whatever kinks you damn well please, allow them all even, and just edit tags onto them if you want people to have no excuse for disapproving surprise.

    You mentioned not calling for exclusion, so I'll refrain from the obvious one of "demand quality at least comparable to your own", and instead offer: more kinky bad ends, more background and use of the "Milk" street drug, and more posts!
     
    fyreant likes this.
  20. hematoma

    hematoma Really Experienced

    Erotica by and for women, including most mainstream romance novels, feature non-consensual sexual themes. The phrase "bodice ripper" refers to the idea of being sexually ravished, often in a seductive manner that becomes consensual. Only maniacs think rape is good in real life.
     
    fyreant, TheDespaxas, merkros and 2 others like this.