After getting inspired by a two chapter story two months ago I started writing a few hundreds of mine to develop it. Now seeing that some people seem to like my writing, I decided to start one story of my own. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Introduction.276117 Stranded on Verdana 4, is some space opera inspired story about a young engineer promoted captain that crash on a savage world. Depending on the survival of the crew and the encounter with aliens on it, it develops in nice and sometimes not so nice adventures for our hero. I post here to get some feedback on the story. I'd like to have some idea from a native english speaker of the quality of my writing as it is not my birth language and ut is hard to know if what I write is clear. Like for all that I write, I am open to suggestions. As for additions to it they are welcome as long as they fit into the universe. (You can pick any point of encounter and invent your own primitive species, the advanced ones are limited to humains, greys and draykchins for now.) If you want details or infos on something to write on my story, post it here or message me. I'm online every day. Go on and comment away!
Your writing is pretty good. Sometimes the grammar makes it a touch hard to follow, but it's nothing that stops me from reading your works! Keep on writing! It'll only help you with your grasp of English.
Thanks for the input. I'd rather use writing time to add new chapters but if something really makes little sense don't hesitate to message me about it. I want the reader to enjoy the story and if a chapter puts off people it nearly cuts the branch under it. The story has now over 42k views before the one week mark, I didn't imagine getting that in a few months when it started. Even if people don't want to add I'd like to get some suggestions on alien races. Like even just a cool concept with, appearance, description, habits, a few cultural traits. I'd like to add more in some of the short branches but I'm a little dried out in the alien creating department. Everything I think of is something that I know exist in something else and I'd like to try some new ones before recycling more.
The story just passed 200k views and is the 8th best rated Sci-fi story on the web site. I want to thank all the readers and fans that follow the adventures and misadventures of Captain Thorn. Special thanks are due to Manbear whose work as contributor and editor has been invaluable in keeping me motivated to continue and made me enjoy re-read my own work. It is to be noted for early readers that most chapters have been edited to hunt typos and sometimes flesh out details either by Manbear or by me. I encourage you to check them again if you have time. I will continue to post but it will mostly be one or two branches at a time, with my other stories going on it's too hard to update each of the over 30 branches of this one (a story is an hydra, each choice brings two branches) Good reading, good writing. Ps If you like the story and want to contribute you can submit chapters or contact me if you have questions about the universe's background. A ressource/encyclopedia branch is planned but not high on my priority list.
