Hello, I would like to get some feedback to my Storyline about Sylvanas. https://chyoa.com/chapter/Sylvanas-Windrunner.442344 Do you think that I described her Character well? Does anyone has some suggestions or plot ideas? Thanks a lot and please be fair, English is not my native tongue Uther
Yeah, there's a couple grammatical errors in there which make it a bit awkward to read in places. You might consider running the chapters through Grammarly.com - might help clear up a few things. Her characterization is fine, but you might want to consider adding some physical description earlier on, to give casual readers (especially those that don't play Warcraft) an idea of what she looks like. It doesn't have to be paragraph after paragraph of description, but a brief description in the beginning, maybe just a couple sentences interspersed here and there to give the reader an idea of things like hair, skin, and eye color, notable features, shape of her body, breast size, etc. Contact with the toads could cause her to start to transform, which would make for some interesting scenes.
Thank you for your reply and especially for the suggestion about Grammarly. So far I had just wrote it down on the webside and put it later into a Google Document, that helped me a little with some problems. Especially my problems with than and then ;-) At first I seem to have forgotten that there is a than at all For the next chapter I had an idea of writing it out of the pov of a special cave toad. I am not so used in writing real hardcore scenes and hoped that it would be more interesting to add another pov.
