The Axe Effect [A first time poster on Forum]

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by AxeEffect, Mar 7, 2018.

  1. AxeEffect

    AxeEffect Guest

    Dear All,

    I posted a new story today which is two chapters deep. It's a teen story with hints of mind-control and potential incest [if the writer so wishes]

    Looking for Co-Author/Authors to take on a thread. Why not check out my story and get in-touch.


    https://chyoa.com/story/The-Axe-Effect.15607
     
  2. Fierbali111

    Fierbali111 Experienced

    I'd consider it, but sometimes its a bit boring seeing the one main character and his harem of girls who never clash cliche.

    Your writing has a lot quality though i'd leave the character descriptions more generic as it distrupts the flow of the story. Also I don't like looking up alabaster to see what color it is.