The Gamer, Chyoa edition.

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by TheDespaxas, May 3, 2017.

  1. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    https://chyoa.com/story/The-Gamer,-Chyoa-edition.12004


    I have for some time been a big fan of the concept of some Korean comics, mixing real life and video-game.

    Some of the best examples are The Gamer or Life Howling.

    http://m.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/the-gamer/list?title_no=88

    Of course while romance and a few hints of some characters being attracted to each other are present it far from being erotic in nature.

    And with now nearly half a year writing thing here I thought.

    "Hey, I could totally write a porn/hentai version of that! The setting is awesome and would lend itself easily to that. "

    I had to set it in a western country because I don't trust myself with a lot of Asian names and don't want to butcher their culture. And of course there is a pervy side to the powers the hero receives and he doesn't lose time using them to have fun.

    Like always I'd really like to know what people think of it.

    I considered making it a game mode story to have the scores and character sheet but I decided otherwise it would slow me down too much and I will probably have a few linear stories rather than an intricate system of linked chapters like a game mode story should be.
     
  2. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Go game mode, embrace the inner nerd!
     
  3. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    no can do but there are updateable character sheets in the work , thanks to Chyoa's resident tech wizzard Gene.sis

    quick update:

    sometimes it is hard for an author to know exactly how well you're doing with a story.
    after hitting 400 likes in 4 days with over 30 per chapter, I think I can reasonably say I just hit the right spot so I will just continue like that.

    extra thanks for the many readers leaving nice comments on the chapters too.
     
  4. moonblack

    moonblack CHYOA Guru

    I really like the story so far. Because of it I have started reading the original it is based on.
     
  5. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    Then I have done two good things. :)

    Be aware that both will follow a theme but will evolve differently.

    As pointed to some in comments or messages, I moved the story to the US rather than use the original characters because I utterly suck at remembering names and it is worse with foreign names with different structures. (three names, family naming agenced differently.)

    Having to use the names from the original comic would slow my writing to a snail's pace.
     
  6. dick88

    dick88 Experienced

    Saw this decide to give it a try, and BAM! I was not at all disappointed.
     
  7. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    I'm further along in the original than in your story...
     
  8. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Wah! No more -Ranma-1/2-, err, I mean, The Gamer...
     
  9. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    The story is going great even if I'm a bit behind on character sheets. (I'll do it tomorrow I think.) 10 days, 1000 likes. Two top chapters and probably more on the next update. And more comments from reader than I ever had outside of a quest story.

    Welcome to our new contributor TheScyle and thanks for his branch. (I read ahead on unpublished stuff and it is going in interesting directions.)

    I'd like to remind people who wish to participate on the story to contact me before sending stuff for review.
     
  10. Funatic

    Funatic Really Really Experienced

    (Spoilers, i guess?)

    Soooo, if I want a route where our MC doesn't bang the mom (I am not into parental incest) do I have to write that myself? Provided of course the storyline I plan to go with is approved by you.
     
  11. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    I Messaged you about this, provided it turns out right you could write it.

    IF I ever go back to branch out I would probably write one without him doing that. But for now I don't want to lose momentum and have to rewrite near identical chapters. I'll focus on the main line for the foreseeable future.
     
  12. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    We have now 4 extra authors on the story

    TheScyle
    Neo_kenka
    Felich
    Funatic

    Eachat has his own take, but I have enjoyed a lot reading the chapters they have written to qualify as contributors.

    Thanks to all the readers for their support and comments. The little side story I started without thinking much about it truly took a life if itself. And it really helped me to keep to my self imposed one chapter a day schedule. (at least.)
     
  13. dingsdongs

    dingsdongs Really Really Experienced

    So many likes, views and favorites in such a short time, as well as several contributing authors. One could easily get jealous!
    It looks like you really hit the Jackpot with that story idea ;-)

    From my point of view, the selling point of the story is the gamer, the developments of his skills, the interaction between the skills and the world. The exploration of the skills, world and characters, together with a slowly developing story line.
    In short, not just yet another story, but something truly unique which hasn't been done before on chyoa.

    I have to admit though, that i only looked once or twice at the character sheet that you post under each chapter. I mention this because you wrote that you have trouble to keep it updated for every chapter. For me it would easily be enough if it only appeared with major changes (i.e. level up, truly unique loot or ability, etc.).
     
  14. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    The problem is that I have to keep track of everything even if I space it out. But yeah I will probably do it every so often rather than on each, unless I find the courage to do it all when I have the time.

    Honestly I might be among the most surprised by how fast this picked up. I've been writing for more than 9 months and this story which is barely over a month old and less than 5% of my chapters comprises nearly half of my likes..

    I'm actually a couple likes away from being number one on the author ranked per likes leader board and the story which had been story of the week will be in the top stories on the next update.

    I still barely believe how fast it went.

    I really want to thank every single reader and most likely those that left all those encouraging comments for getting me motivated to write this.

    And a special thanks to all the contributors, some of your work is wonderful and I have the luck to be able to read it before it goes out ^^
     
  15. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    So I know that pretty much no one uses the forum, but I have decided to make a few announcements.

    First the bad news. Felich will regrettably have to leave us for personal reasons and unless we find someone willing to take it over his branch will stay as is.

    Then the good news. Lalelilo69 a new writer has started his own branch on the story, let's welcome him and wish him luck. I also have a few other prospective writers still in the admission process.

    Finally, the awesome news. Hard the ignore the behemoth in the room.

    The story got to the frikking top spot on the website. I still can't believe how fast it went or that I got myself and three other writers to post an average of at least one chapter per day for nearly three months in a row. And that with real chapters with stuff to read. (and might I say pretty good stuff.)

    LIke I said in a comment on the chapter where it happened. A great thank you to our authors, but also to all the readers, fans, commenters and people that helped us in this.
     
    BelleHades likes this.
  16. Funatic

    Funatic Really Really Experienced

    I really wish the readers would hang here more often. Also hurray us!
     
  17. BelleHades

    BelleHades Virgin

    Congrats on getting the top spot!
     
  18. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    I would like to be able to say I'm not jealous, but I'd be lying. I also would like to be a contributing author, but you all know my rules.

    However, let me not rain on the parade here: you clearly have found an impressive concept that resonates with the readership: and keeping up the pace you have is not easy as I well know, for one person let alone several. I wish you and all the other participants good luck!
     
  19. Nemo of Utopia

    Nemo of Utopia CHYOA Guru

    Oh, I have one piece of advice: I understand chapters must be edited; but do it silently whenever possible. I stopped reading because of the number of early chapters that were edited.

    (I dislike having to go back and re-read, especially things I've read recently.)
     
  20. TheDespaxas

    TheDespaxas Really Really Experienced

    Most of the edits were only me adding the character sheets and correcting typos, I sometimes forgot to click the silent edit, because I was doing it repeatedly. At least on my branch.

    And as for your rules, I will reiterate. I perfectly understand that you refuse to approach some subjects in your writing but you shouldn't let it close doors for you. You would be welcome to try your hand on a branch that follows your rules if you ever change your mind (on the same terms as anyone else.)