or "The Harkness Test" 1) Intro scene: Captain Jack Harkness is buttfucking an 18 year old arabian guy in 610ad. Afterwards the chat is that its the Prophet Mohammed who is a sort of time traveller, oscillating between 610 and 1988 (when Satanic Verses was written). He falls asleep in one and wakes up in the other. Jack says he will look him up in 1988 to prove that he’s not imagining it. (note: Jack is an omnisexual time traveling immortal, but without his timeship he will have to wait out the centuries till 1988). He suggests to Mohammed to make a few alterations to the Quran to avoid some nasty shit. 2) Jack proceeds to fuck his way through the ongoing centuries and enlightens his protege Mohamed on whom he may and may not fuck as he goes. Gender doesn’t matter, but age does. Strictly 18+. Also aliens, he's got rules about them too. Demons too if you got em. He decides to formalize a test which must be adhered to. 3) Before he gets back to 1988, Jack realizes things have gone badly wrong. Things are different from his memories. Slavery is never repealed. The Tannen family are perpetually US Presidents and then Emperors then with the wealth of 90% of the world are declared rulers of the world with harems of beautiful slaves everywhere. He sees the names Biff, Buford and Griff Tannen throughout history and realises they are the same person and there are multiples of them interacting with each other driving around in 88mph time machines - in a 1946 Ford Coupe in which he has installed a stolen flux Capacitor. They’re going to destroy the world he realizes. Without a Tardis though, how can he stop them? 4) He enlists Mohammed earlier, although he doesnt know him yet, in 1985 when the world is going to end. There are 6 versions of Biff on thrones in each continent. Mohammed and Harkness search around for a sign of a time travelling phone box and suddenly find one. Jammed inside it though are Bill and Ted in mid fuck with the English mediaeval Princesses. Undeterred Mohammed and Jack jump in with them and head back to 1895, whereupon they shoot Buford and all fuck Mathilda Tannen ensuring the whole bloodline of Buford is so screwed up that Biff/Griff can no longer exist.
Sounds intriguing! ...But I would be remiss if I didn't include a warning that featuring a gay Prophet Muhammed in a sex story might get you some unwanted attention from... let's say, those less willing (or capable) of separating fact from fiction.
yeah - I'm wondering just how flimsy my online alias actually is. Some people get annoyed if you mess about with their favorite characters. Ordinarily I don't do gay either, but because its Fan-Fic, I'm restricted by my characters' back stories. And Captain Jack fucks anyone and everyone without favor or prejudice (as long as they pass the test). Think it would it help any if I suggested the Prophet was Bi / non binary? And I actually really liked the ***** Verses too (and the rest of SR's output is awesome). I was planning on having the Prophet as one of the good guys who takes down Biff Tannen's evil empire. You think it would help if I recruited major religious figures from other religions? (another religious time traveler could be St John the Divine, who wrote the book of revelations). I'm doomed - shit! P I'm not sure if the idea is salvageable if I I come up with a suitable time traveler from other fiction to take Mohammed's place. I had thought about Missy from Dr Who too, or possibly Professor Chronotis from Dirk Gently, or HG Wells' traveler.
I was going to suggest replacing him with Jesus or the Buddha, but had forgotten the link to the Verses. ...Yeah, you're stuck.
He's def not Gay - he had 11 wives! I was just thinking of adding a Bi/curious twist to him so that the story works with him as a hero alongside Harkness. Forget it - I cant write this thing now. I dont even believe in free speech enough to do it. In the verses he's kind of a Ladyhawke character but moving in time. I'll replace him with another character but in my head it will be him anyway.
