Volt

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by EricW, Mar 17, 2020.

  1. EricW

    EricW Virgin

    Hi, I'm Rakkuken. I wrote a thing called Volt.

    https://chyoa.com/story/Volt.26037

    It's about a reporter in a world of super heroes who discovers her own super human powers. It's also about her exhibitionist desires.

    I just released the second half of Issue Two and I wouldn't mind getting some feedback.
     
  2. Ben Rosewood

    Ben Rosewood Really Experienced

    I've read some of the story and it's pretty good so far. Only complaint is that there's a fair amount of filler. Chapters like 'Breakfast' and 'Shower' really could be summed up within a paragraph at most rather than dedicated chapters.
     
  3. EricW

    EricW Virgin

    I hear that.

    Sometimes I put breaks at transition areas and sometimes I mean to have multiple options but stop at just one. Mostly I think I do it because I'm flying by the seat of my pants with little in the way of planning.

    It's unfortunate that I can't easily fix it.
     
  4. EricW

    EricW Virgin

    Quick question for the few who might read this; should I set some default options for score dependent text in my story?

    A lot of text won't appear unless the story is being read in game mode. I've put a warning saying as much at the top of the introductory chapter, but I'm curious how many people might just ignore that and experience weird breaks in the story every time they hit a score sensitive section.
     
  5. MidbossMan

    MidbossMan Really Really Experienced

    I'd say you kinda hit the nail on the head: I love game activated features and find them cool but I notice all the time too, where people fail to activate game mode going into a story. Having a default text there that makes sense, in the case that score isn't active, would make your story readable regardless. It could be a little tricky and hard work, depending on how often it comes up.

    Personally, I don't bother too much with foolproofing that side of it, but I can see why you'd want to in order not to alienate people. It's all about the time you feel like putting into it.