Hi everyone, I just posted my first story, Your dream girl's harem, and thought I might stick my head in here to elicit some feedback while it's still short enough to make systematic changes. The story is bisexual-focussed, so I appreciate that most of you will want to move on, but for those interested in reading this kind of thing, the niche that I'm trying to fill can perhaps best be described as "forced/reluctant bi in good spirits, from the very beginning". The premise, which I haven't seen described much elsewhere, is that an attractive girl from your past has brought together a group of old acquaintances with crushes on her, and offers to have sex with them if they are willing to submit to her desires and put on a show for her. The main rules that I've been adhering to are as follows: The writing follows an episodic structure, with the goal that all branches will merge into the a common starting point in the next episode. Game mode is used (optionally) to incorporate earlier decisions into later episodes, at least superficially. Branches are based on the choices of the protagonist: there is a significant femdom element to the story, and letting the reader dictate how the protagonist gets ordered around seems like it might undercut the sense that their mistress is the one in charge. The mood should generally be fairly positive. The (straight, male) characters are meant to be participating in this arrangement because they're getting sex and attention from someone out of their league, who needs them because the more attractive men that she would normally date aren't going to be falling over themselves to suck each other off just because a sexual equal would like to see it. There isn't any real or imagined malice between the characters, and when there is some conflict, I prefer to resolve it with sexual means (since the story is about straight men earning straight sex with various submissive and homoerotic activities, it's easy enough to find an excuse for someone to get less of the former and more of the latter, or vice-versa). Physical descriptions are limited to help maintain immersion. Chapters should be fairly wordy: A whole sex act involving the protagonist shouldn't be just a line or two. Is there anything else that I should, take into account, do you think? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, since I imagine much goes wrong when a first-time author inadvisably decides that their first story should feature an inconveniently large number of people performing sex acts that they've never tried themselves.
