Slut World

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by 2p1k3, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. 2p1k3

    2p1k3 Experienced

    https://chyoa.com/story/5757/thread/176802

    I wrote a few lines to add a first post to this story. I posted this incase the author wanted what I wrote changed in some way. Maybe that would help others with adding their own take.

    I enjoy several branches of this story. I find the idea of rolling a ten sided dice to guide how successful the protagonist is compelling. :)

    Thank you for sharing your Force; May the Goddess bless you.
     
  2. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I thought it was 2d6!

    -Z.
     
    2p1k3 likes this.
  3. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I could also use some suggestions on writing out my own threads involving 10+ rolls. I was hoping Swampthing could either give more options in the rules set for basic & character rolls, or give suggestions for doing threads with 10+ rolls. Until then, I may have to just either do 7-9 roll threads for such scenarios, or just stick with non-sexual threads for the time being.

    1 thread currently pending, 3 others declined, all mot likely require editing.

    Example: https://chyoa.com/story/slut-world/...-can-take-her-pussy-and-help-her-find-release (currently pending)
     
    2p1k3 likes this.
  4. 2p1k3

    2p1k3 Experienced

    I guess the author approving my thread is my answer. :)
     
  5. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I'll give you guys an early warning about the end of the month. Since I'll essentially be out all Halloween Weekend to attend a major comic con in Los Angeles--yep, Stan Lee's Comikaze Expo--I won't be able to add or edit any of my threads during that time. If anyone wants to add in a few threads while I'm out that weekend, then please let me & Swampthing know.
     
  6. 2p1k3

    2p1k3 Experienced

    I have been looking how swampthing and others have been creating the choices, to hopefully figure out an exciting choices to move the barbarian forward without sex. If I comment on a post about my confusion with what choice was made, I am far from intending to be negative; I just honestly fail to see it and would like to change that. Though one comment I think I could have worded better... was writing via a mini iPad and it was proving difficult to adjust how many 'stars' I was hitting... should have just waited.

    I wish I could edit/delete comments after they are already posted/saved. In addition, that would eliminate most of the double, triple, or quad consecutive comments in a post. lulz
     
  7. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    Hey, cool, a forum thread where you guys are discussing Slut World!

    2p1k3
    Sorry I overreacted to your comment, I too wish we could edit/delete comments. I now see that you were confused by what choice I was making from the make her beg list. I was chosing "Let her _______.", the most open-ended of the choices, to "let" Jenna apologize. Maybe I should have told her to apologize instead. Tell her (and force her) is the most versatile move, and could be used for just about anything. My thread was unclear, thanks for pointing it out.

    Think of it like a role-playing game. You can make the barbarian do anything (leave the room, go rejoin his war company, whatever). Just watch for when his actions trigger one of the basic moves. If he's doing anything other than sex, than it triggers the hang out/go to work, etc. move, and the girls make a move in response. A lot of girls' moves are also non-sexual. For instance:

    The barbarian returns to his war company, and keeps fighting the war to take this city. He is going to work, so the girls make a move. Maybe Claire runs away (you can force her to stay). Maybe something exciting happens (like a big battle scene), or a new girl appears (a sexy female warrior or enchantress protecting the city), or the girls take you somewhere new (back to your village after the battle). Some of those moves might require you to get out of trouble. Roll to find out what happens.

    Or, maybe he forces Claire to go with him back to his village. Roll to force her, and find out what happens.

    You can even have a long string of your character making non-sexual moves, and the girls responding with non-sexual moves, like in my recent "Sisters" threads. So you can advance the story without sex, you just won't be getting any xp :).
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  8. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    dearnise, my main suggestioon is that you not just write 10+ threads. Actually roll to find out what happens, and write whatever thread you get. The 10+ threads are going to have lots of sex, lots of cumming, the girls are happy, and you get lots of xp. But if all you're writing is 10+ threads, it's not going to be much of a story. The 7-9 threads, and especially the Miss threads (where the girls make a specific move or two) will probably create more interesting story.

    Also, remember to keep the girls passive. They shouldn't just offer sex, or lapdances, or to go home with you. Make your character roll to tell her or make her beg. Actually roll it, and he probably has to turn her on first (which are fun threads to write). The girls should just react to the characters' moves. Of course, you can just have your character hang out, if you want to give the girlsan opportunity to make a move.

    I hope that helps.
     
  9. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    I'll think about that moving forward.

    That kinda leaves me thinking about doing a combined "2nd season" set of threads, so to speak, even though I haven't worked on the other branches as thoroughly as I did the "Silken Web" threads with the dancer/cosplayer character, since it's a kind of a character that I can most relate to. Do you think I should do something like that soon? Maybe I can take at least four or five of those dancer characters I've already made in my existing threads, and use them as a base for a "2nd season" thread series, where the man comes to a point where he'll probably have to eventually choose one of those dancers and try to work things into making that dancer truly love him(?).

    I could also incorporate your suggestion and work on something brand new.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2014
  10. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    swampthing
    I did a few edits to the thread that is still "Pending", but I'm not sure if further editing is needed or not.

    Also, I probably won't be adding new threads as much as I used to, since I have my own story to work on. If anyone wants to add to what I've started, then go right ahead. I may come back to it when I have the chance.
     
  11. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    dearnise
    The pending thread is described as 7-9 (choose two options), but you have the girls cumming, Eric doesn't cum, and the girls seem to like it. Even though you aren't saying in the title that the girls like it, the thread is written as though they like it. That would make it a 10+ thread.
    So, you can either:

    -Edit the thread so the girls don't like it. Eric is abusing and taking advantage of them, but her still makes them cum, and he doesn't cum.
    -Edit the thread so the girls don't cum. They still love fucking Eric, and he doesn't cum, but he gets no xp.
    -Edit the thread so Eric cums. The girls still cum (Eric gets the xp), and they love it, but Eric can't fuck them again until he gets hard again. Maybe another lapdance? or a blowjob?
    -Edit the title, so that this is a 10+ thread.
     
  12. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    Interesting thread here in Zingiber's "Joe Kelly" story. Zingiber created a new custom move for the follow-up question, "Roll+control to beat the girls at mini-golf". It's a good solution for how to handle story actions that aren't covered by the basic moves. Here are a couple of other ways I would handle that situation using the existing basic moves:

    Tell them what to do. Joe doesn't really want to play mini-golf. Joe wants to fuck all these girls. He says "Let's all go back to my place and get naked", and he rolls +hot to tell them what to do. On a 10+, they're all into it (+1 forward). On a 7-9, they'll do it if he turns them on first. Turning them on can look like whatever you want. Maybe they are all turned on by a game of mini-golf. On a miss, the girls get a move (something non-sexual, like playing a game of mini-golf).

    Get out of trouble. Joe is trying to get out of trouble with the girls, especially Tara. He rolls +cool to get out of trouble. On a 10+, he does it (maybe by winning the game of mini-golf and impressing Tara with his athleticism). On a 7-9, he does it, but at a cost (maybe a long, hard, close game of mini-golf). On a Miss, the girls get a move. What will they make him do when he loses? (take him someplace new? tease him? tie him up? run away?)

    Hang out. Joe is just hanging out with the girls. Describe the game of mini-golf however you want, but then the girls get a move (take him someplace new? tease him? tie him up? run away?).

    Or, create a custom move for the game of mini-golf, like Zingiber did.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2014
  13. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I just checked out the story tags listed on the front page of Slut World and was amused at the catalogue. I guess the various nightclub settings aren't specifically tagged.

    anal, barbarian, beach volleyball, bondage, cum, cum-swallowing, drugs, forced, game, incest, kickboxing, lesbian, miniature golf, movie theater, popcorn, princess, public blowjob, pussy-licking, rape, rpg, sisters, slave, twins, vibrator, young​

    If you tried to fit this into one story, it would read like some sort of dark fantasy/revenge/action/comedy porn movie.

    -Z.
     
  14. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    I roll the dice to figure out which thread to write next. It feels more like a game that way.
     
  15. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    If you tell two girls to suck your cock, can you pick "They both swallow your cum" as a choice without needing "There's enough for everyone?", and still get the 2 XP?
     
  16. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I've been enjoying the game aspect as a prompt to my writing. I've been tempted to start a spinoff story with variant rules and set-up.
     
  17. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    I went through and updated all my 'fucking' Pick 2/3 choices to add 'You're hard again already' option that was introduced recently. Nothing else was modified.
     
  18. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    Torg, you had a few questions,
    OMG: You are using this correctly. It essentially gives you an automatic "beg", but only once for any one girl.
    Incest: You are using this correctly as well. It also works only once for any one combination of girls and moves (the first time you fuck her, the first time she swallows your cum, the first time she easts her sister, the first time she eats her mom, etc.)
    2 girls sucking your cock: ... good point. Yes, I guess you would still get the 2xp. The "enough to share" option means sharing with another girl or girls who didn't suck you off.
    Cunnilingus: Without the "Pussy-Licking" move, there is no mechanical benefit to cunnilingus. You can ask her or force her to let you do it, but you can't get xp from it. You can use it to turn her on.

    I'm glad you guys are rolling the dice. I'm sure enjoying your stories. Zingiber, I'd love to see your variant rules. If you do post something like that, please mention it here so that I see it.
     
  19. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    Incest I thought this would only apply the first you had either swallowing cum or orgasm XP, but not both.
     
  20. SwampThing

    SwampThing Experienced

    My mistake. You're right, it's once per combination of girls, not per move.