A Fantasy Dynasty

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by merkros, Feb 27, 2016.

  1. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    @Ultrasound7 , I greatly enjoyed your idea for the path where Marissa tries to convince Bryce to sleep with his daughter. Honestly, I've been sort of stuck on that path. It's not that I don't know what to do (sex obviously), but getting to that sex in such a way that feels smooth and not abrupt that I'm having trouble with.

    Certainly I hope you continue with that path. When you have the time, of course.
     
  2. Ultrasound7

    Ultrasound7 Experienced

    Well I try. I find I have a bit of a gift for filling in left alone threads, especially ones with my favorite kinks. though I do get divided in my time with my own stories and other threads I'm filling out right now, Including Price Ali. I'll get back to this as soon as I can.
     
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  3. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    I've been playing a crap ton of Total War:Warhammer lately. They had a free DLC Released not too long ago.

    Why do I mention this? Well, it's because I've become pretty enamored at the idea of Knights, or heavy cavalry riding on non-traditional mounts. Things like giant spiders, griffons, pegasus, etc... Particularly Hippogryphs caught my eye. Hippogryphs are half-horse/half-eagle flying critters and...at least based on Total War: Warhammer and Warhammer fantasy make some pretty powerful mounts(if you can tame them). They're smaller than a Griffon, but larger than a Horse.

    As I often do, I think about how it could possibly used in A Fantasy Dynasty. I haven't written down anything concrete, but perhaps it might be interesting if the nation between Phebis and Al-Anashab manages to tame them at some point in the future and invade over the mountains between them and Phebis. Perhaps they field a mostly equine-based military and cannot invade over the mountains because of it. Sadly, that's about all that I really have for that idea at the moment.

    Another thing I was thinking of was starting a new Protagonist who is a Dragonkin warlord in the Kisten Craigs trying to consolidate the various factions and become the new High Warlord afterwhich probably cause trouble for Itheria. However, I have so many unfinished plot threads right now that I should probably focus on them for the time being. Still, I'll just leave this here for future-me, or somebody else interested.
     
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  4. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    I'd like to write that. Would need some help (with the world history), but would like to write that.
     
  5. SonOfDusk

    SonOfDusk Virgin

    I did have an idea about something similar a while ago, that was before I got stuck in writing the hedonism storyline (I still appreciate ideas in that regard!). It should have been about a descendant of Bryce, who would find himself in an age of warlords and civil strife after his father or grandfather (the Bryce himself) died (or was dieded ;) ). If you like, I'd love to write it, either as a standalone story or as a branch somewhere.

    I want to take up things with my storyline again, but I do lack some ideas here and there. I am not sure in which directions things should go as of now, if anyone has an idea I'm all ears.
     
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  6. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    Well, the whole of the world history hasn't really been explored yet. The Kisten Craigs used to be the seat of the Arxkesttelgdn Empire. A Dragon-ruled empire which used to dominate the entire region. Ultimately, the empire collapsed...probably due to a mix of in fighting and the rise of Human Kingdoms, but that hasn't really been elaborated upon much.

    The region is mostly devoid of True Dragons now and the ones that are around probably don't want to get involved in politics, because that would make them a pretty big target. So the region is basically ruled and controlled by various Dragonkin Tribes. That is...Well, I'll just quote the Writer Resources page:

    Dragon-kin(or Half-Dragon) aren't exactly their own species. They are the child of a dragon and another(usually intelligent) race. Although really, any person or creature with dragon features are referred to as Dragon-Kin whether they are truly half-dragons or somewhere in between. Dragon-kin retain features of their dragon-ancestry. These features can vary from case to case. full-body scales, patches of scales, claws, vestigial wings, slit eyes...etc. The more dragon blood one has, the more dragon-like their features.

    Ultimately the various tribes fight with one another and eventually(occasionally) they get united under a High Warlord who rules until he dies or gets overthrown and then the whole process begins again. They also typically have an on-again/off-again conflict with Itheria, their southern neighbour.

    edit: If you want an example of dragon-kin in the story, there was a branch starting here that involved them, but it's been pretty inactive.

    Perhaps it may be time for a bit of a time skip. Last I checked, Bryce knocked up every girl in the kingdom*. It may be time to explore the consequences of that.


    *I'm exaggerating a bit, of course
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2017
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  7. SonOfDusk

    SonOfDusk Virgin

    Tempting. Will it be a foreward or a backward timeskip?

    Was there anything written about times already? I would say that this story would make sense if it is set in one of these ages:

    Age of Strive
    Loose term for intermediate period of factions at war, usually after a larger scale empire fell down under its own weight. The Age of Strive and the Age of the Empire might bounce back and forth, see old egyptian history for example. Their warring nature usually comes with a decline in knowledge and an increased likelyhood of devastating disease.

    Age of Kingdoms
    Period, in which certain power structures are build and start to reach the end of their first stage of the development. Kingdoms have divided the land into spheres of influence, and they may or may not be at the edge of wars with other kingdoms. Alliances, via marriage usually, increase the size of kingdoms generation after generation while they slowly reach a state of equilibrium.

    Age of The Empire
    Driven by different developments, usually economic or ideologic, the Kingdoms are formed into an all-encompassing empire.

    Age of Decay
    While slowly collapsing under its own weight, the Empire slowly descends into decadence and squabbles between different factions.
     
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  8. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    Well, I would assume if you wanted to continue King Bryce's hedonistic story, forward...

    Hmm, so the neverending cycle of realms would generally go Strife>Kingdoms>Empire>Decay>Strife?

    If that was the case, then the region would probably be in a Kingdom Age. The only real issue with determining what era it is based on the state of the world is that it would be different where you go. It might be the Third Age of Kingdoms in western Motania, but the Second Age of The Empire in the Far East.
     
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  9. SonOfDusk

    SonOfDusk Virgin

    Basically, yes. It would be a long cycle, to allow for time (and handwavings).
     
  10. dearnise

    dearnise Experienced

    Hey guys:

    I have been on a long case of Writer's Block, and there has been other factors that has preoccupied my mind. Adding to the problem, is the upcoming release of a console game that I have been anticipating for quite awhile. It's going to take alot of my free time, once it is released. Because of that, I'm going to be taking a break from writing. Hopefully, when I find time, I will try & write again.
     
  11. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    So just an amusing thing that I've noticed. I've been writing the story with Princess Anna trying to infiltrate the castle to beat the demons that...you know killed her family and subverted the kingdom. This branch was always going to have one of three conclusions. Most of the paths you could take leads Anna to getting captured and used as a stepping stone to cement the demons reign, some of the paths would lead to her being captured and controlled using magic mostly at the behest of her mother's sister Nepherine, and one(that's right only one) path would lead to her actually succeeding. I had always planned for the castle infiltration plan to be a horrible idea, but I was actually planning on none of the paths leading to anything good.

    Anyway, the thing is that i posted the start of a more hopeful branch for her a month ago. One of the demons is dead, they've found the evidence they need to incriminate the Fake King and it has had not that much success in terms of likes and views. There's chapters that I posted yesterday that already almost have as many views/likes. So it's amusing that it would seem that people enjoy it when Anna fails a little more than when she succeeds. Of course, when she fails it usually results in her getting fucked. Sometimes multiple times. That's a big part of it, but it amuses me nonetheless.

    Well, certainly feel free to take your time! It's more important to write good chapters than trying to get some chapters out because you feel obligated to and them being not quite up to par. :)
     
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  12. Nympho Manic

    Nympho Manic Virgin

    This is one of my favorite stories. I go back and read it, a few times over. It's erotic you can bed whomever you want. If they're related to you, and how you go about it. It's very erotic. I can't wait for more type of stories like this.
     
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  13. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    Thanks!

    I always enjoy hearing feedback. Especially if it's positive. :)
     
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  14. Nympho Manic

    Nympho Manic Virgin

    I'm pleased. I enjoy creative interesting stories. When I was browsing for stories and if I couldn't find anyone I liked. I re-read yours and picked a different outcome. Can't wait sees what else you write.
     
  15. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

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  16. Javalar

    Javalar Really Experienced

    I always wanted to help adding to this, but by now, I feel pretty intimidated by the lore and world building.

    I always think I have to catch up with all those chapters before I can add something useful and in tune with the rest of the story.
     
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  17. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    It's certainly understandable that the lore would be intimidating. Especially considering how much of a mess the Writer's Resource Page is. It's difficult to navigate. Fixing that mess is on my to do list.

    A couple of things to consider:


    1. I have always for simplicity's sake been generally agreeable to the mindset of "As long as the story is consistent from the introduction through your chapters. It's probably fine."

    2. I believe Dearnise posted a world map on the last page(or the previous one). There are plenty of locations in the world that simply have not been described at all and are basically a blank slate. Starting there with a new protagonist, or doing a story where someone gets promptly overthrown and exiled to one of the unfilled locations on the map would pretty much leave you with a blank slate.

    3. And of course, I and everyone else who may be a bit more knowledgeable are available to answer any question you may have in this thread.
     
  18. [​IMG] this is my artist interpretation of Butrexx the Dragon-kin empress as described by
    SonofOsman
     
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  19. I have a question that I don't think has been answered yet what eye colour does King Bryce have?
     
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  20. merkros

    merkros CHYOA Guru

    I...uh....That's a good question. I don't think it's ever been stated.
     
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