Should the characters use a condom?

R

RejectTed

Really Experienced
I am about to write a sex scene that's more realistic than what I normally write and I am wondering if I should have the characters use a condom.
When I have penis in vagina sex irl, I use a condom, but have never been taken out of a store if the characters don't use one. In fact, thinking back on my favorite erotic I'm haveing a hard time remebering if a condom was used. So I guess as a reader I don't care.
What is your opinion?
 
This is terrible life advice and a condom should always be used. However, condomless sex doesn't always come with babies attached to it. The girl could be on birth control pills, or she could have just gotten lucky and not have gotten pregnant.I know some stories roll with the male character having some sort of super-cum that immediately impregnates a girl if they don't use protection, but really the chances of someone becoming pregnant from a one-night stand are statistically fairly low. Way too high to not use a condom or some sort of contraceptive, but fairly low in general.

Of course, the Knaus-Ogino or Rhythm method is often brought up as an excuse for condomless sex. I'm not a huge fan of the "Don't worry, I'm safe today" rationalization that many stories on the site pull. First off, that method requires the woman to have a very regular menstrual cycle. Something that's relatively uncommon and changes significantly depending on various conditions. Secondly, I don't know of anyone who would rely on that method of protection with someone who they aren't expecting to be life partners with due to its obviously high failure rate compared to standard contraceptives such as condoms and birth control pills.

Ultimately, it really depends on what kind of story you want it to be. If you want it to be realistic which is the course you mentioned wanting to go, then a condom or even a mention of consequences isn't absolutely necessary for say like a one-night stand (albeit it would be very unlikely that it wouldn't be brought up). However, the longer two people are banging, the more likely that you're either going to have to deal with the consequences of not using contraceptives(aka pregnancy) or some sort of contraceptive is going to have to be mentioned/used.
 
Of course! Wait... noo!!! But well... yes...

Actually, it depends.

I don't like it if characters just don't use a condom. I rather prefer if they forgo the condom for some reasonable reason.
So it depends on the scene and the characters.
Humans do dumb things when they are drunk, in love, horny and so on.
What should the condoms protect against? Only pregnancy? STDs? Both?
Does the girl trust the guy? Does she trust him to pull out to avoid pregnancy? Does she think she can't catch an STD because he's a shy guy (maybe a virgin) who hasn't much experience who even asked for a condom?
Does the guy dislike condoms? Does he care if the girl would get pregnant? Does the idea even turn him on? Does he care about STDs? Or does he even think that the risk is only minor as a guy (as he doesn't get the cum inside)?
Does he start with a condom and pull off or does the condom break (no idea how that can happen, but heard of it...)? Does he ask her to cum in her mouth because he doesn't want to cum inside the condom? Does he compare the orgasm with the condom with the creampies he had with his former girlfriend? Are they like crazy when they search for a condom or when they pull it over his cock?

So... I prefer it when no condoms are used, as long as it is reasonable and fits the characters and the situation.
Depending on the scene it can add some additional spice (especially thoughts of why they do it like they do)
If there are no reasons, go for the condom, cum inside, knot it and throw it into the trash (or whatever the characters would most likely do with it).

You're characters know how they would do it, so you can always "ask" them ;)
 
Thank you both, that is very helpful.
I guess the question I was asking was "is it weirder to mention the condom or leave it out?"
The consensus I'm getting is if they don't use it they should have a reason and like all their choices it says something about them.
 
rejectred said:
"is it weirder to mention the condom or leave it out?"
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Your the author. how comfortable are you mentioning condoms within your own story. If you feel it works go for it and if not then bare all is the way for you.
Most authors I can say I've read do not use condoms and as merkros has said that some male characters in stories have super-cum. I would love to see sci-fi stories get inventive about condoms doing things, but do I feel it is weird with or without the condom? No.
If you are having a hard time write both versions and see where viewers of your story lean more toward.
 
Definetly, if you want realism, the condom is an issue, meaning that you have to think about it even if you don't want to mention it.

There are too many factors to take into account so say if it's needed in you scene or not.

Do the people involved know each other?
What's their relationship?
Is it their first time?
Is it unexpected?
Are there any special circumstances worth of mentioning?
Are they sober?
Is there coercion?
Who is taking initiative and who is subject?
What are their social status?
What are their thoughts about pregnancy?And yours?

They seem a lot of question, but if you aswer them, deciding what to do about the condom will come natural afterwards.
 
Basically agree with everyone else. If they know and trust each other, or aren't too bright, you don't have to bring up STDs, or even if they're smart and have never met, just don't bring it up. Most porn exists in a world where nobody has to worry about that stuff. The pill works, although like Merkros says, certain methods, like rhythm method or pulling out, bother certain readers, because they're not very accurate. I don't think your audience will mind much if you just don't bring it up, but your audience also won't mind if they do wear a condom, and personally, I like it, as it gives it a sense of grounding, because it's protection against a problem the author could always just not include.

But, if you do have condoms, you've got to consider where they come from. If someone has condoms on them at all times, you've got to say why. It could be because they have sex a lot, or because they're very cautious, or that they were specifically hoping that the encounter will lead to sex. You could even have them buy the condoms in the story. If they're young, say, 18-24, and/or virgin, they could find the purchase embarrassing or thrilling. They could have stolen the condoms from someone else, a parent, sibling, or roommate, perhaps. Or maybe someone gave the condoms to them. The roommate heard about the date, perhaps, and wanted them to be prepared.
 
You guys do know I asked the question so I would have to less not more right? Seriously though, thank you all for your advice. I have made a decision. and will hopefully have the chapter written in a few months.
 
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depends. Since I write a lot of mind control stuff, if the guy gets the girl to confirm she's on birth control and clean, no condom, but if he's no sure, condom, or he sends her out to fuck a lot of guys, condoms. Pregnancy is a squick for me. Don't like it
 
mindtheMILF said:
I see we have now entered BDSM
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You know how you're at the end of an RPG dungeon, and you find some humanoid dweller admidst this hellscape, and you ask yourself -

"Wait, does this dude even leave ever? Past those trolls and everything? How would that even work? Does he... Live here?"

It's a little like that. Only it's a BDSM dungeon instead of an RPG dungeon.
 
How would you use condoms as a humiliation device? having the point be they're not worthy enough to make you pregnant or something?
 
229 said:
How would you use condoms as a humiliation device? having the point be they're not worthy enough to make you pregnant or something?
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(Note all links lead to NSFW images, but that should be obvious considering the topic at hand)

I'm not sure if this is exactly what Loeman meant, but I often see Used Condoms used to accentuate an already humiliating scene to show how much they have had sex in such a humiliating position. Sometimes they're tied to the girl somehow and other times they're just laying around the scene or on the girl herself. It doesn't have to be non-consentual, but it is often synonymous with a male character having his way with a female character in a forceful or rough manner multiple times. Often it involves a Bondage or humiliating position.
 
catfish27 said:
This forum is good about avoiding kink shaming -- and I think that same courtesy should be shown to people who mention that something is not a kink of theirs.
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My response was a more subtle way of censuring what I perceived as his kink shaming of everyone, myself included, with a pregnancy fetish: (Actually, impregnation fetish in my case, but,) however I admit I didn't handle it as well as I possibly could have. If you can suggest a superior response for next time that would be appreciated.
 
merkros said:
I'm not sure if this is exactly what Loeman meant
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I don't think Loeman meant it to humiliate the girl (by placing used condom on her or let her slurp it out)

A guy could get forced to wear a condom because he is not worth to stick his poor, dirty cock into the girl uncovered. Especially if there are other men who fuck his love without condoms.
It can also be used to reduce the feeling of the guy, to show him that he isn't worth to feel the pussy directly. He could be rather be seen as a sex toy which would be replaced by a "real" man in an instant if one would be available.
 
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