My First idea

[dragonmaster77]

Hey this is somthing recently been planning to do but it is my first time on here so I don't know what to do exactly.

My idea involves manipulation, mind control and time stop but focus more on Power Rangers girls. The character will be bestowed powers to enter the Power Ranger world of there choice and be able to have there way with the power Ranger girl of there choice.

So what you think?

 

[dragonmaster77]

Look like I said it is my first idea and it is still in planning stages (mostly cause I don't know how to submit stories on the site) but I what I don't want insults thrown at me like I only care about that cause I don't only care about that in fact I am not even 100% confident in myself to actually do a CHYOA story cause I have never done one before. Also yes I know there are a lot of these types on the sights but I also know there are hardly any active of my chosen media of the idea.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

I see that you're stubborn, and that means you just might amount to something, so, here's a more thorough critique of your idea: it will start with what I don't like about it: and then, move on to that parts I DO...

This is the key issue I have with your proposal. I HATE time-stop/mind control stories because you cannot secure informed consent. If you don't have consent, ipso-facto, you are a rapist. However, it goes deeper than that. If you cant up your game enough to legitimately seduce a woman, clearly you are an inferior specimen and should not breed. Rapists aren't 'edgy' or 'powerful': they're pathetic: weak, craven, selfish, stupid, incompetent: I can go on.

Now, for what I LIKE: you're right, I haven't seen much done with the Power Rangers. Leave aside the mind control and time stop aspects, what do you have? A story where a guy, or girl, (hey, I'm straight, but those boys were FINE...) can jump into a specific set of parallel worlds and try to seduce a hero/heroine... I think that would in and of itself be an amazing story...

 

[mindtheMILF]

Nemo tells it as it is which is Bullshit. Instead of being offended. Look at learning at what others are doing that is popular or fits your mode that can be successful. be open-minded. Learn how to do things, take babysteps. If your having an issue on how to post a story on CHYOA. CHYOA Guide is an excellent source.

Just breathe.

 

[dragonmaster77]

What part of my reply made you think I was stubborn? In reality I'm the farthest thing from stubborn I am pretty much open minded about a lot of things why do you think I submiited the idea here because I have never done a CHYOA story before and wanted help with it and I will take the advice and would love to hear Nemo expand more on the alterations of the seduce angle please.

Also I was more offended by the whole hole in the head bit rather then the critque I can take crtisism so long as it doesn't try to insult me as well since I kind of made a very large defense against it after years of being bullied, mostly I just ignore it all but I came here for help with the story idea so couldn't.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

Um... Well, I'm just going to throw this out there, right at the outset, and then do what you've asked...

1: the 'you need a hole in the head' comment is intended to be viciously sarcastic: thereby implying that, like you have no need what-so-damned-ever for an extra hole in your head, neither does the site need another mind-control/time-stop story.
2: Being "stubborn" in this context is not a bad thing: it means you will stick to your writing, even when it's difficult, and thus, probably won't leave the site with yet another one chapter story that only the original author will ever have any idea what to do with...

But, you also seem open to critique! This is even more important!

To properly Illustrate my proposal, I would need to see your opening chapter, and then go watch a stream of the first episode of power rangers again... I'll go to the second while you write up the first...

 

[dragonmaster77]

I see well I usually excpect the intenet's verions of air quotes 'these' for sarcasm if they don't have them I usually take it as an actual insult.

As for the opening chapter I don't have it written up so preobebly won't be till some point tomorrow if I get it done by then.

 

[mindtheMILF]

I see well I usually excpect the intenet's verions of air quotes 'these' for sarcasm if they don't have them I usually take it as an actual insult.

As for the opening chapter I don't have it written up so preobebly won't be till some point tomorrow if I get it done by then.

Thank you. Will wait for tomorrow.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

I await it avidly: but, would also like to say this: god that show was awful in the 90s...

 

[dragonmaster77]

I await it avidly: but, would also like to say this: god that show was awful in the 90s...

But to be fair it was the 90's where a lot was not as good as it is now, it reliyed mostly on Sentai footage for fight scenes and it was the start of it and without it we won't have the stuff we have now. Also orginally it was going to involve the characters in the ranger suits hopefully that can still be a thing.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

Oh, yea, I'm just saying, the acting, good god: the acting...!

 

[dragonmaster77]

Okay here is the first chapter. It is point of view so I did my best to avoid saying the character was a guy or girl and yes I also am sort of inventing my own ranger character OC assuming the form of the White Mystic Ranger mostly:-



You sit in your room and are currently watching the latest episode of the newer Power Rangers TV show, you have just turned 18 and your love for the show hasn’t died down since first watching the series


You have even watched the show from it’s first series of Mighty Mophin and while you note the campiness of the 90’s you still enjoyed the awesome fight scenes.


However there was a different reason you feel as to why stuck to the show for so long while a majority of friends you have had moved on from the series. Starting round about when you were mid 15.


You began to notice how good and sexy the rangers were whether in there spandex uniform or not, heck some of the villains, one not looking like grotesque monsters were appealing as well in your mind.


You don’t know how many times you fantasized making out or even rubbing the sexy body parts with your hands to them but it is something you kept to yourself.


I mean a lot of the friends you made of the school called you a great seducer despite the fact you use cheesy lines that would make anybody cringe.


Anyway the episode had finished and just as you turned it off a bright light shone through. The room and as it cleared standing before you was a figure in white holding a staff

(Right here would have been an image of the White Mystic Ranger.)

You couldn’t believe it, it looked like the White Mystic Force Ranger Udonna but it couldn’t be, she was just a character.


“Hello there young one, no doubt you are confused I will try to briefly explain. While I have taken this form it is merely the form I have merely chosen. I am here to bestow you a gift to you.” The White Mystic Ranger said and with a flick of her staff the remote you were holding changes to one with a few button settings.


“That remote now has the power to let you traverse the different Power Ranger Worlds or more in the future if you wanted. It can also help with your chances at seducing those you wanted.” She explained a slight chuckle in her voice on the last bit like she herself enjoyed the sound of that.


You were speechless as you thought about this, three ideas came to you head the first was checking the remote, second was questing the White Mystic Ranger finding out who she was and why would be best and final was trying your luck as seducing her.

 

[mindtheMILF]

You sit in your room and are currently watching the latest episode of the newer Power Rangers TV show, you have just turned 18 and your love for the show hasn’t died down since first watching the series


You have even watched the show from it’s first series of Mighty Mophin and while you note the campiness of the 90’s you still enjoyed the awesome fight scenes.


However there was a different reason you feel as to why stuck to the show for so long while a majority of friends you have had moved on from the series. Starting round about when you were mid 15.


You began to notice how good and sexy the rangers were whether in there spandex uniform or not, heck some of the villains, one not looking like grotesque monsters were appealing as well in your mind.


You don’t know how many times you fantasized making out or even rubbing the sexy body parts with your hands to them but it is something you kept to yourself.


I mean a lot of the friends you made of the school called you a great seducer despite the fact you use cheesy lines that would make anybody cringe.


Anyway the episode had finished and just as you turned it off a bright light shone through. The room and as it cleared standing before you was a figure in white holding a staff

(Right here would have been an image of the White Mystic Ranger.)

You couldn’t believe it, it looked like the White Mystic Force Ranger Udonna but it couldn’t be, she was just a character.


“Hello there young one, no doubt you are confused I will try to briefly explain. While I have taken this form it is merely the form I have merely chosen. I am here to bestow you a gift to you.” The White Mystic Ranger said and with a flick of her staff the remote you were holding changes to one with a few button settings.


“That remote now has the power to let you traverse the different Power Ranger Worlds or more in the future if you wanted. It can also help with your chances at seducing those you wanted.” She explained a slight chuckle in her voice on the last bit like she herself enjoyed the sound of that.


You were speechless as you thought about this, three ideas came to you head the first was checking the remote, second was questing the White Mystic Ranger finding out who she was and why would be best and final was trying your luck as seducing her.

Can it be less broken up. Also are you familiar with the image uploading for the forum and the site? Not sure how I feel about jumping between the different worlds of power rangers. Focus on one until you have a hang on it all before jumping all over the place. Still agree with Nemo on everything so far.

 

[dragonmaster77]

To be fair I made this in a new word processor I had and it was a little less broken in the document then when I pasted it here. Also no I am not familier with the image uploading. As for the different worlds thing it just cause about when they get to the chance to jump between worlds it will the one that gives you the option of which one to start in and you will be interacting with that world for the most part.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

Okay here is the first chapter. It is the point of view so I did my best to avoid saying the character was a guy or girl and yes I also am sort of inventing my own ranger character OC assuming the form of the White Mystic Ranger mostly.

Let me ask then, what makes the White Mystic Ranger special?

You sit in your room and are currently watching the latest episode of the newer Power Rangers TV show, you have just turned 18 and your love for the show haven’t died down since first watching the series.

Solid start.

You have even watched the show from its the first series of Mighty Morphin and while you note the campiness of the 90’s you still enjoyed the awesome fight scenes.

The fight scenes were OK, don't oversell...

However, there was a different reason you feel as to why stuck to the show for so long while a majority of friends you have had moved on from the series. Starting roundabout when you were mid 15. You began to notice how good and sexy the rangers were whether in their spandex uniform or not, heck some of the villains, ones not looking like grotesque monsters, were appealing as well in your mind. You don’t know how many times you fantasized making out or even rubbing the sexy body parts with your hands to them but it is something you kept to yourself.

'Making out', good, 'rubbing the sexy body parts, not so good, try something like "kissing and petting"...

I mean a lot of the friends you made of the school called you a great seducer despite the fact you use cheesy lines that would make anybody cringe.

Why is this even mentioned?

Anyway, the episode had finished and just as you turned it off a bright light shone through. The room and as it cleared standing before you was a figure in white holding a staff

(Right here would have been an image of the White Mystic Ranger.)

If you need some art asset help, pledge to Articsn's Patreon.

You couldn’t believe it, it looked like the White Mystic Force Ranger Udonna but it couldn’t be, she was just a character.

Should use an exclamation point.

“Hello there young one, no doubt you are confused I will try to briefly explain. While I have taken this form it is merely the form I have merely chosen. I am here to bestow you a gift to you.” The White Mystic Ranger said and with a flick of her staff the remote you were holding changes to one with a few button settings. “That remote now has the power to let you traverse the different Power Ranger Worlds or more in the future if you wanted. It can also help with your chances of seducing those you wanted.” She explained a slight chuckle in her voice on the last bit like she herself enjoyed the sound of that.

And this is where it starts to go sideways for me, it would be better, to my mind, if the remote just takes you there and lets you pick out a power... Like if you went into series one you could become the green ranger who was part of the team from episode one...

From there, its up to your skill with seduction, like a dating sim...

You were speechless as you thought about this, three ideas came to your head the first was checking the remote, second was questing the White Mystic Ranger finding out who she was and why would be best and final was trying your luck as seducing her.

I like that you make seducing the OC an option!

 

[mindtheMILF]

Also no I am not familier with the image uploading

For uploading images on the site please use  For image it is important to find a host site, and two if it is a jpg add jpg at the end. Chyoa guide is a wonderful source. If you still are having an issue anyone on the forum can help answer your questions. Best name is Friedman he is the top man for everything.

To upload image here is on the forum is clcik on the image icon next to the emoji in your edit bar and paste img url.

 

[dragonmaster77]

1) I orgionally going to use a sentai ranger to repersent the for until I can properly think up what to call her the omipitant being and the character wouldn't have reagonised her form since it was a sentai ranger. But unable to find one that fits I chose White Mystic cause the design of the ranger kind of fits what I had in mind for a god of sorts would look in power rangers sense.

2) Glad you liked the start

3) I will admit this is mostly cause the character you are really enjoys power rangers enough to possibly oversell the fights but I can dull it down a bit

4) I guess that makes it easier to reamain gender exclusive.

5) I'll be honest I read some of the guidelines and one mentioned first chapters need to be 250 words and if I am being more I doubt even with this I did not hit that number.

6) I do have a picture on the actual file as I copied and pasted this from it and the image is a still from one of the Mystic force episodes of White Mystic

7) Grammer was never my strong suit

8) Never was good with dating sims if I am honest plus the remote one of the setting could be considered a cheat menu you can use to make it easier, the idea is the cheat would make it even the cheesiest of cheesy lines would work on the characters.

9) If you were being honest on that (the exclamation point makes it hard to tell) but I just know someone would have wanted to do that.

 

[mindtheMILF]

5) I'll be honest I read some of the guidelines and one mentioned first chapters need to be 250 words and if I am being more I doubt even with this I did not hit that number.

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your view there is no hard limit on words.

6) I do have a picture on the actual file as I copied and pasted this from it and the image is a still from one of the Mystic force episodes of White Mystic

Do make sure you use a image hosting site so the image stays on the website longer.

7) Grammer was never my strong suit

Grammerly.com is an excellent source to assistant you in this department

 

[dragonmaster77]

The image is from Tunblr which I found using Google search in images. It is not the best one I found as I wanted one that mostly showed white mystic in mostly full but also holding her staff without having some for of title in the way.

 

[mindtheMILF]

Please read:
https://chyoa.com/chapter/How-to-add-a-picture-to-the-thread.251850

Suggestions:
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